Things you are likely to hear on slowtwitch....
I am cleaning out and organizing my files now that i am moving everything to the cloud and came across a funny file from my sailing days. I thought many here would enjoy the chuckle and the only thing that made sense was to translate it to fit the the title above.
Hope it gives everyone a Sunday Morning Smile
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh%$.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
8. When I want your sh%$ I'll squeeze your head.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhh...I see the f*&k-up fairy has visited us again...
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your f%&*ing unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiney-a$&ed opinion would be...?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't a forum. It's Hell with bikes.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. This forum is just a padded cell without the padding.
33. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
34. Nice sun block. Must you marinate in it?
35. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
Comments
36. Just HTFU (Hulk the F@$K Up)!
My brother is a total insult comic. It's only funny if you're NOT the target. I swear he knows every one of those.