Dealing with speed (or lack thereof) and being competitive
OK, so I don't think of myself as overly competitive (mostly because I really can't be when it comes to tri) but I had just to share this and get some other folks thoughts on it.
I've been doing tris for about 3 years now, completed first IM in Nov. and I really love it and am very proud at how far I've come. Couldn't run more than 30secs at a time when I started. I'm still pretty slow (best 3k is 30:36) and my FTP is 163. I've made great improvement and generally only compare myself to myself. (I'm a BOPr and cool with that)
I also like to encourage others and tell everyone that anyone can do it if they want to. So this all sounds great, right?
So a friend of mine (who I have encouraged) does a kind of "test" indoor tri without really any recent training, no background in anything except swimming and she pretty much meets and/or slightly exceeds what I did in a similar type race. So the competitive streak comes out and I'm beating myself up and I feel petty about letting it bother me.
So aside from venting, I guess my question is... How do you deal with ? I know there are some competitive folks here so I'm sure some of you can relate. I guess part of my frustration is that I've been putting in some serious training over the past 3 years and someone with none of that can casually go out and do the same thing just as fast? WTF? I know everyone is different (ie "natural" ability, etc) but really? Not sure if it is the "losing" that bothers me as much as the fact that it bothers me that bothers me. (Both I guess)
Comments
Well Kim...where to begin....
You're competitive response...is kinda like being nervous before a big presentation...its a good thing...you probably wouldn't be a athlete if you didn't feel it....and you should take it as positive energy/motivation...not negative energy & down feel down!
Second; can't really compare "similar-type" races...don't do it....When did you do yours that you are comparing? How similar..conditions, distances..etc....
IAlso despite not have any particular training...what kind of fitness/overall fitness is your friend in....its amazing how general fitness can drive very positive results , especially in a one-off event of not particularly long duration....specific training & executional effect becomes much more important as duration increases....Alot of fit people can jump into a sprint type tri and do pretty well at first, especially if they now how to swim somewhat...as that tends to be a big limiter....then riding & running short events....well again general fitness can take you a long way....
...You could go out tommorrow and ride for a couple of hours...hop off the bike and run an hour....then get up the next day and do similar workouts....what is your friend doing today?....
Be proud of what you have accomplished....recognized what your key goals are and what your training is targeted to....and continue to knock it out!....
Be happy that you may have hooked a friend into the sport who may be a good motivator/training partner...and continue to encourage her...the feeling that you somehow were beaten will pass...and be replaced by that positive motivation to do better!..Rock On...( Oh and kick their butt next time around)
Joe had an AWESOME reply.... Not much I can add to what he's already said other than I know the feeling of having a similar background and similar abilities as someone else, and suddenly developing a competitive streak (that was previously non-existent) when this person meets or exceeds goals that have taken ME time to work toward. Personally, I think the fact that this "bothers" you isn't at all petty - I think it's the normal knee-jerk reaction that's part of being human AND a Type A triathlete. I think we all have a rival or two in mind when we're training/racing, regardless of whether we're FOP, BOP, or somewhere in between. It's that same drive that puts us on our trainers for hours at a time and gets us out the door for a long run in 18 degree weather... we do things that the majority of people wouldn't conceive of doing (and we often do them at hours of the day they think are nuts!). Does this friend have the Mental Six Pack that got you through IMFL? Does she have the knowledge of proper race execution? You are still miles ahead of her in terms of experience!
You have really come a LONG way, and you're on the right track right now to meet your current VDot and FTP goals - Joe is right, USE this frustration as motivation!!!
This is how we turn competitors into teammates. It ends up working both ways... cheering on everyone, whether faster or slower, and realising those words don't equate to "better" or "worse". I get enjoyment out of encouraging those who are both in front of and behind me at the finish line. The ones who don't return it, well, it's their loss. Even if they think they've "won".
Hi Kim- you ask how do we deal with it?
I have personally been on both sides of this equation. I actually don't like "beating" my friends who normally are way in front of me because it gets awkward and they tend to make excuses never letting me actually "win". That is not cool. Then other friends who are competitors with me too actually help push me to be my best and celebrate with me if I am first or they are first. It is a healthy relationship and how it mostly works for me. I have a hard time just like you when a new person comes in and clobbers my times. It is a pride thing. Not proud of it. Just being honest. I have done my "time" and wow- it was so easy for them. But I hate when I feel that way. It is not healthy or helpful for me. So I acknowledge that I feel it, then try to turn that around and consciously encourage and praise them. The way I would want to be treated. Nothing in life is fair. I learned that ages ago
BTW- I think you are an inspiration in here. You train so hard and so smart and are fun to train with virtually. So there. You are not allowed to be hard on yourself because you are very cool!!
Has this person done an IM? If not - game over, you win. If they have, have they trained for it and gotten as much satisfaction out of the finish, justifying all the hard work you put into it as you have? If not - game over, you win.
You get the idea
At least, that is how I approach it when someone waltzes into an arena and starts at a place where I've worked hard to get to.
The fact that you have completed an IM is amazing. I am humbled by that, and I will join you someday I hope. (Those SAU's are hard to come by)
Kim,
5X what every one has said.
Albert Einstien once said: "Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted". Your spirit, drive,determination and perserverance are things that can't be counted like a bike, swim, or run time but in the end are much more important. It is very hard to fake an Ironman- enough said.
There is no denying that virtually everyone on this team is competitive in some fashion (internal or external). And remember this sport of ours in the end is just a game but it is also a vehicle to find out who we are and that, I believe is what drives most of us and that's our bond.
Your friends performance should be kept in context- there will always be folks who are naturally faster but that doesn't make the person "better" or you any less. It's been said that sport doesn't build character-it reveals it. You've already shown yours. So stand tall and be proud and most of all enjoy the ride! Be happy that your friend will be part of your discovery.
Approximately 60,000 people in the whole world completed an Iron distance triathlon last yr and approximately 20,000 Americans completed one in 2012. Recall that there are about 7,000,000,000 people living on this planet we call earth, approximately 315,000,000 of whom live in the US like you. So if my math is right, you are among an elite group of the world's .000857% best athletes! In the US, you would rank among the top .00635%.
So do I think there is value in continuing to work hard to be the fastest you can possibly be, absolutely. That's why we're all here! But I will say that you should choose a different word than "embarrassed" to describe your disappointment that you're not in say the top 0.0006% of people in the world instead of wearing the shame of the disappointing rank of only being in the top 0.0008%...
My post was a bit tongue in cheek, but I'm simply trying to put in perspective who you are surrounding yourself with and comparing yourself to. I think I've gotten pretty fast relative to my expectations 3 yrs ago... However, I'm still a turtle when it comes to the really fast guys. To be honest, all but about 5 people in the world think they are slow compared to somebody... I have a ton of friends. Some of them are 'faster' than me, but very few of them can still be faster than me after 112 miles of racing. I'm sure the same is actually true for you!
Once I figured out that I was only really racing against myself in these tris, I started to enjoy the events more. That, and it made it much easier to pace myself since I stopped trying to chase down people based upon a number magic-markered on their calf.
If, someday, I find myself at the front of the pack, so be it. I'll still be racing myself, and happier for having the competition!
I also don't give much thought to how much more or less I trained than someone else in the race. I'm not sure why it would matter. Everyone has different training regimes so people do what works for them. Some people are naturally gifted and that's great for them.
The one thing I might challenge you to do is leverage this "competitive streak" to train harder. Sometimes when I finish my z4 intervals in running I don't feel like cranking it up to z3 for the remaining time. It's times like that when I mentally replay the last 2 miles of 70.3 Kansas last year, running down 3 guys in my AG to get a Vegas slot, or think "you aren't doing all this training to miss a PB by 30 seconds this summer". I know my dad must think that way too…I was doing a trainer ride with him the other day on a Saturday FTP ride and he came out of the aerobars in the z3 portion towards the end. My response was "they don't give out AG wins for guys who aren't getting the workouts done"…and back down he went. I think your mental state dictates how you'll channel the competitive reaction. There are crap-tons of people who are better athletes than me so the best I can do is do my workouts and set goals that are within my control. To the extent that you have room to push yourself harder then I actually think it's ok if some competitive forces push you to do that and increase your desire and drive.
@Kim: I was the slowest on my XC team in HS, but nobody taught me how to train back then... I'm faster now, and I suspect I'm faster than some of the other guys on the XC team, but then, I've stayed with it. Still MOP, but every year I'm a little stronger. Question is, how do I deal with it?
I love the workouts. If I'm not connecting with a workout, I change it up. I just love a good run, bike, even swim...
I love the races - the adrenaline - the energy - putting it all out there and seeing what happens.
I know I can crush my 2012 performances because I've upped my game again this year (EN and doing the workouts)
I've been BOP all my life - I've come to terms with it - I'm a little surprised to be doing as well as I do. Gains don't come easily, but with work gains are still coming.
Couldn't run more than 30s when you started? I have to say, that's pretty impressive gains for 3yr - keep it up - who knows what's coming your way in the next 3 yrs.
Just keep ratcheting up your game every yr and see what you can do and above all enjoy the journey.