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Hines Ward takes on Mr Gimpy at St Anthony's Triathlon

If you haven't been paying attention, 14 year NFL veteran and Superbowl MVP Hines Ward is taking on Kona this year to help sell chocolate milk to triathletes and prove he can do something different than run with a pigskin.  As part of his build he came to the Tampa Bay area to compete in the 30th annual St Anthony's tri. 

I thought to myself, could an EN trained Ninja with a ruptured plantar fascia spot Hines Ward 20 years and still kick his ass in an olympic?  Hell yeah, let's go for it!  So what if his coach is Paula Newby Fraser and he has personal swim instruction and a sports nutritionist coming to his house every week.  I've got Coach RnP in my back pocket, loads of experience plus some pop tarts in the cupboard.  Bring it.

I was sure that I could beat him in the swim and bike, and hopefully put down enough cushion to hobble to the win being as how this was my "D" race with the motto of Do No Further Damage to Thy Foot.   Unfortunately, St Anthony's has a reputation as a tale of two triathlons.  First, there is the olympic triathlon for the pro's.  Second, there is the swim for everyone else.  Since the race attracts a large number of newbies, many of whom have never even completed an olympic, the RD is loathe to let amateurs swim the full course if the water isn't glass.  They also search high and low for cool water to ensure that it is wetsuit legal.  Although the nearest NOAA buoy had the water at 79.7 degrees, they found a pocket that was 76.5.  Fortunately, I packed my shorty along with a skinsuit just in case.   Well, this year's water had about a 1-2 foot chop (no white caps) and as soon as the pro's were underway, they cut the course to 750 yards.  They have shortened or canceled the swim for age groupers in 4 of the past 5 years which is hurting their reputation as a serious race.  More importantly, the shorter course not only reduced my swim advantage, it increased the run from the swim exit to T1 from about 50 yards to 1/2 mile ... on pavement...with a bum foot.

Even though the short course resulted in a long shallow run-in, I waded slowly and carefully to the shore in 14:13 but that was sufficient to whoop on Hines who successfully swam 15:53.  Take that Mr. MVP - who's your daddy?   Unfortunately, for me, he pulled out some football form and ran to his bike with T1 in 5:47.  That bastard!   No fair!  I put on my flip flops that my daughter set out for me when they shortened the course and took an easy stroll to my bike.  Due to my foot, this was my "D" race.  I sauntered through T1 in 9:28 including walking out with my bike.  Even at the mount line I had to be very careful getting on.  No running out of transition and executing a flying mount this year...I went back to the scooter method of getting on and took my time strapping in.

Our man Ward said in interviews that the bike was his best event.  Little did he know that despite me not even tapering for this race, a winter of FTP and VO2 work courtesy of RnP was about to show him how it's done.  Heck, I had even forgotten my Garmin Edge 500 and was just pushing as I felt like it.  Advantage: Mr Gimpy in 66:43 compared to Mr Ward in 71:47.  So much for them football quads generating power!  I carefully dismounted and started an easy walk to my rack, chatted with other guys while getting my run shoes on, allowing Ward to get back 20 seconds 1:45 to my 2:05.   So coming out of T2, I was a total of 3 mins 5 seconds faster than Hines. 

Now to see what I could do on the run.  After I ruptured my foot, I went 4 weeks without a single run except for a lot of work on an elliptical and an ARC trainer.  The week before St Anthony's I jogged 3 times on a treadmill: Mon, 1 mile in 11:10, Wed, 2 miles in 10:33 average, and Fri, 3 miles in 10:04 average.  The primary goal, and I do mean primary, was not to get reinjured.  So I was pleased to continue my progress with 6.2 miles at 9:05 pace.  But wouldn't you know it, the big man pulled out a 51:26 to my 56:21.  That's impressive for a guy who claims to have never run more than 3 miles at one time until he started training for Kona.

Final result:  Hines Ward defeats Mr Gimpy, 2:26:37 to 2:28:48.  I am mortified!  I guess my "D" race training effort is no match for the MVP's "A" game.  If they hadn't changed the swim course, I believe I would have prevailed.  No excuses though.  Mr Ward is the better man and I'll be rooting for him at this years IM World Championships while I toast his victory with chocolate milk.  

 

 

 

Comments

  • Fun reading....even if you didn't beat him....you're ahead of the game by executing the way you should have, coming off an injury.
  • Paul-thanks for sharing. I'm a huge Steeler fan and a big fan of Hines. He's taken a lot of heat in the various forums for how he is getting to Kona, but I think he's been humbled by what it takes to perform in our sport.
  • You lived to tell the tale. And what a tale ... and telling!
  • Way to represent EN. Nicely done, especially since this was a "D"-race
  • That was a fun read Paul! I too am a big Hines Ward fan being a lifelong Steelers fan. I have an idea... Qualify for Kona (the hard way...) and kick his azz in the re-match!
  • Nice read Paul and I'm glad the foot is coming around. 

     

  • Great read Paul!! Better luck next time on kicking Hines' ass.
  • Wow Paul! I can't believe how quickly you came back from that torn plantar fascia! Super impressive! Being the Pittsburgh girl that I am, I didn't know who to root for - Hines Ward or the guy with the initials PGH... I agree with JW - KQ and rematch!
  • At Jess - I am going to give it the old college try. I am hiring a hot, 20 something physical trainer to work on my core strength and balance issues. Yep, when she tells me what to do I will just have to do it or feel like a wimpy old man.  She will be my Ironman version of a dominatrix!   It is old school, chauvinistic training methodology, but that is the next step in Operation Get Ripped. Worst case is I will at least have a good reason to get up on Tuesday mornings.
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