Skipping Family Weekend?
Hello All,
So we all have spoken about SAU's and how they are great for you, your spouse, and your kids. (i have only a spouse and me). So here is what i need help with. I have a family weekend (my entire extended family) on June 21st. All of my brother's and sister's and their families are coming together in Ohio. AHHH, super nice. however. This last weekend, i hosted my sister and her whole family at my house for 4 nights. We did the whole sight seeing in DC and swimming in the pool. Mean while, i tried to make all my workouts. (extra early mornings) with no down time during the day (no naps).
And next weekend, i am heading up to Placid for training camp. Enough said. It is going to kick my ass and i am going to be dead to the world when i get back.
To top it all off, i have to work and train. While trying to get as much sleep as possible (LP is 6 weeks away).
So my question is, FAU (family approval units). how do you get them? And how can you explain to your family (parents and siblings) that you are just too tired to drive 5+ hours each way because IM training is kicking your butt?
Comments
I suspect from what little I know that you may have had to share news with people in the past about your path and accept whatever consequences that brings, so perhaps that experience will inform how you handle this situation.
This is how I would approach it...
If you list out the family members involved, can you figure out who's going to get it with no further explanation, who will never understand and who is somewhere in the middle?
For the people who will get it, call them and have the conversation so they can wish you well and you can thank them for understanding.
For the people who simply will not, know and accept that you're doing some damage to those relationships but this is the cost of your pursuit.
For the people in the gray area, if they're important to you, call them and explain ... maybe you can cross paths sometime after LP? Follow up and keep them in the loop as you get to the race and after you cross the finish line. Tell them how important this is to you and thank them for understanding.
Life is filled with situations where you can't have everything - so you have to choose - and it sounds like you know what you want to do - which is to put your heart into your IM training. Now it's about accepting the consequences, and doing as much reaching out as possible to foster the relationships that are important to you.
The alternative is to adjust your training schedule, take a power nap and get your butt to Ohio, possibly for less time than the full weekend, and accept the consequences to your race-preparation. A post to the micro forum on how best to minimize the impact might be in order...
Either way, you have consequences you have to manage; you just have to pick the set that's going to leave you happiest and feeling best about your decisions.
Not that it matters, I would be in the group of people who understand without further explanation, but then, I'm not in on the Brown family reunion... that said, I wish you the best with this no matter how you decide to handle it.
..r
Those close to me have known for many months that beginning in May and continuing until after IMLP, training is central. With the exception of family crisis type issues.
Best of luck with this.
Just remember, what we do is a game........
U have made a significant investment in both time and money for imlp and these next X number of weeks are the most critical for your successful completion and seeing the return on your investment. I would hope everyone could understand it in those terms.
Good luck!
Fri AM - swim + core. Work. Leave work at 3pm , leave house by 5pm and drive to Perry, FL (1/2 way).
Sat AM - run 8 miles in Perry. Bike 44 miles from Perry to Wakulla (enroute). Wife intercepts me and we drive the rest of the way. Mingled all night at the wedding.
Sun AM - bike 105 miles from Panama City to Wakulla with 3.5 hr head start on the wife (she gets to sleep in and socialize). She passed me at 102! Drive the rest of the way home and get in a 2000 yard swim.
Mon AM - sleep in to recover!
If triathlon, especially long distance tris, is going to be your lifestyle for a while, say for the next 5 year horizon, it would be healthy for hour lifelong relationships with your siblings for them to actually *see* their brother, the triathlete, in action. Let them get a taste for just how tired + dedicated you are. Take your bike and running shoes to Ohio, work in a modified ride or run each day (it can be refreshing to plot out new routes on mapmytri.com), and then answer all their questions about what it's like to train for and think about something like IM LP. I bet they'll become hour biggest fans on race day, feel like they were a little part of you getting there. You may even inspire a niece or nephew or two to become and stay active.
With the camp coming up, you can probably afford to have an easier weekend, and don't need to obsess about getting every minute and watt done in the wkos.
It's really quite amazing that our siblings are the people who know us longer, and possibly in more depth, than anyone else on the planet. My sister and I have been getting along now for 65 years, even though we've lived more than 1,000 miles apart for almost all of the time since I was 13 and she went away to college. It took her a couple of years, and a couple of visits with me training at her house, but she follows my races, and enjoys showing up at one now and then - like every 5 years or so!
Very best whatever you decide to do..
JB -- no easy answers here. I'm not sure this can still be applied in your case given your near-term schedule, but to the extent possible, I announce my race plans (and the extent to which they will impact BIG family activities) as far in advance as possible. This is especially important when you have folks coming from all over the country/world to a family event so that dates can be chosen accordingly. Even so, be ready to compromise. E.g., I'm heading straight to a family reunion after my IM when I'd really prefer some downtime just for me... That being said, they;re pushing the date back a few days so that I can race. Compromise on both sides ... The other thing I've started doing is share my training workouts w/ my family so they can get a feel for what it takes to prepare for an IM. I'm not sharing my daily Garmin data, but in family phone calls/emails, I mention that, um, yes, all I did this weekend, was train/recover/clean gear/shop for chow etc... I find that while generally supportive, many folks have zero appreciation for the time effort required over a sustained period of time to prepare for IM. And finally, I've tried to explain to my family my overall season plan so they have a rough idea of when I have more downtime, and when I'm in the absolute 'don't mess w/ me I'm in IM prep phase' zone. Predictabiilty helps! All that being said, sometimes, worlds collide and you gotta pull the plug on training. It's not ideal, but then again, I'm just an AGer doing this fun ... hope this helps!
Good Luck !