1st IM in 2 Weeks: Pre-Race Confessions

David Leventhal

Two weeks from today, barring any freak circumstances, I'll be lining up on the shores of Coeur d' Alene Lake for my first Ironman. And though I've completed two 70.3 distance races this feels like an altogether different animal. 

I finished my second race rehearsal yesterday...well, partially finished.  I opted to skip the run due to some issues that have recently flared up in my hip and glute area.  I felt pretty good about the bike - 112 miles in 6:08:xx with an IF of 0.73.  When I posted up the results to the CDA forum I got, what I'm interpreting as a, gentle "hey...I think you're pushing too hard on the bike - that's probably not the 'should' ride...that's the 'could' ride from WSM Al T - who I've leaned on a lot during my training.  My immediate gut response was, "what??  I did both my RR at that IF and felt fine. What the heck does he know??"  And then my second thought - which came quickly on the heels of the first was, "hey stupid...he knows a lot. In fact, he's probably forgotten more about Ironman races than you'll ever know." 

So...that sent me back into the Wiki and has caused me to sort through some of my pre-race thoughts.  And I've realized there's a lot going on internally that I think I was unaware of.  I thought I'd put out some of my thoughts since (1) It will allow me "get them out there" - which typically helps me manage them & (2) I realize I'm not the only one undertaking IMCDA as a first Ironman so perhaps this may help others.  So...in an effort to be authentic here is what's currently going through my brain as I sit 14 days from my first Ironman.

1. I worry that I won't be able to finish.  I know my fitness is where it should be based on a year of EN training....but I still worry that I'm not going to be able to cross the finish line.  This is the biggest, most audacious athletic thing I've ever undertaken and not being able to finish has all sorts of repercussions. See #2 & #3 below. 
2. I fear letting my family down.  Everyone who's trained for an IM knows the amount of time involved in training - the weekday hours are manageable because I get up a the crack of dawn.  It's the weekend hours that have been the time my wife and six kids have paid the price for me chasing this dream.  It's the missed soccer games...the hours not being able to give my sweet, ultra-supportive bride a break, etc...  The fear of not finishing actually is secondary to the fear of letting them down.  That their sacrifices in allowing me the time to train will have been in vain.
3. I fear that I will have wasted a craptastic amount of money.  This sport isn't cheap!  Race entry fees, flying my family...all 8 of us up to CDA, renting a house for the week, equipment, nutrition (good grief you go through a lot of Perfrom mix over the course of training for an IM!), etc... Not finishing to me will mean a lot of wasted money - I realize it won't be totally wasted...but still you get the point.
4. I  am uncertain if my body will hold up on the run.  I had a great month of May training...but my April and my June had/have me battling some cramping issues - pick a muscle on left hand side of my body below the waist & I've cramped.  Calf, hamstrings, and most recently - glutes. I've spent countless hours with my ART guy and my MAT guy trying to get my hips / back aligned.  But the fact is that I'm going to line up on June 29th not entirely confident that I'll be able to run the marathon the way I'd like to and that feeling stinks.

5. I've gotten too caught up on time.  Back to Al's comment about my IF being too high.  The reality is he's right - both from his own personal experience and from the Wiki.  I need to be targeting a .68-.69.  Frankly, I don't want to because it will mean longer on the bike...and a slower time.  I started this journey with the goal being to FINISH an Ironman and to be honest...six months ago that goal felt totally unrealistic.  But...in the midst of training these last months and seeing my body hit volumes that once seemed other worldly that goal has morphed into time goals that are probably unrealistic for me (i.e. see also the cramping issues above).  The reality is that I do want to finish this race as quickly as possible...but my goal should still be to execute as best I can and let the time be what the time will be.  But that's hard for me because I'm ultra-competitive and want to break 12 hours - and the reality is that's probably not realistic for me on this first IM.

6. This is silly...this feels junior highish and I know it - but I said I'd be authentic so here goes.  I feel a bit insecure about my bike. I'll undertake CDA on my entry level road bike that I've "converted" as best I can to a tri-bike.  It's been more than adequtate for my two half-Ironman races and it will be more than adequate for this race.  But I'd love to hit the bike on spot on a sweet, kick butt tri-bike...but that's not my reality and the truth is that's fine.  I tell my kids regularly that it's not the equipment that makes the athlete. Equipment can help make you faster, more efficient, etc... but if you haven't trained...if the engine isn't prepared then the equipment is worthless.  It starts with the athlete...I've just got to keep repeating that to myself.
   
   

There's probably more going on but these six are the ones that seem most pressing.  I am going to rework my race plan targeting the lower IF...feel free to hold me accountable to that.

Mike Roberts

Hey David, those pre-race jitters/worries are nothing new, especially to first timers. Frankly, it's the "a lot of eggs in one basket" aspect of IM that makes the journey and the finish so special. If this only required 4 weeks of training and everyone finished, you wouldn't see people permanently inking themselves with the accomplishment. As the race gets closer, just try to channel that energy to your EN plan and the execution of it. To me, it's ok to have a competitive mindset, even for your first, as long as you're smart about it. You're a good swimmer, so get near the front and go swim. Keep form intact throughout. Mad that you're going to give up 10 minutes on the bike being smart and riding 68%? Make it up in T1 and T2. Trust me - there's 10 minutes to gain/lose there. The bike should be nothing but steady, smart power and perfect hydration/nutrition/sodium. Treating this as a bike race or chasing a bike time is a fool's game - one that will be played by hundreds of knuckleheads at CDA. I've seen a lot of 5-hr bike splits followed by 6:15 "runs." In the end, take solace that your EN training and knowledge will make you stronger and smarter than a vast majority of the field. Just commit to and execute your plan, be prepared mentally for the surprises that the day will inevitably present, and - above all - enjoy and celebrate with your family what will be a day you'll never forget. Looking forward to following your progress and success on race day.

judson

Hi David! You have got this! May 29 will be my third IM and my second at CDA and from my perspective, it is WILL that get's you across the finish line. I only have three kids and I can see all of my "fears" in your post. I feel crappy all the time about time missed, even if most workouts are done by 7:00 am. Each of my starts I have almost been in tears thinking of the family, the work done, and what the day will bring. Also in each start I have managed my expectations: my first IM was just finish standing (12:06) and my second was "do the best you can" - much less training (12:35). Each one was a success, because I finished, I learned, and I showed my kids what it meant to follow through on a goal even when your preparation is not "perfect". This time around my preparation has been better than ever and I know I am a stronger athlete, whatever happens on race day. Too many things you can't control can happen on race day and we do the best we can for that day. Reading your post, I know that you will do everything you can to finish and you will be great in the eyes of your family and yourself. Have a great Father's day! Jud

steven cummings

@ David We all fight a lot of the same fears...as we begin to taper we also have more time to ponder a lot of these what if's. This is part of the journey to being an ironman. My advice is to not let this stuff get to you...you've put in the training time, in 2 weeks your body will be a lot more rested than it's been in months, your legs will feel fresher, trust your race plan and execute EN ninja style, and it's not about the bike!

Mark Maurer

@David, thanks for taking time to post your fears about CDA, I could feel the authenticity. Yes, listen to Al. I read his post race report about IM Tahoe last week and went back and looked at my power files from the last IM I did and found lots of errors and ways to improve. I wasn't a member of EN then and I had just gotten my power meter a couple of months earlier, but it was enlightening. After all, it is called a race REHEARSAL just for that reason. I haven't done the new bike course at CDA, but I can tell you I cooked my legs on the bike course in 2010. I was one of the ones that walked a lot of the run.

 I did triathlon for 10 years on an entry level road bike including three IMs and you're right it is your preparation and your engine that makes the race. Ive finished in front of a lot of folks with much better equipment than me (but I admit I still lust for a superbike).

As far as finishing, you've got this! Take it easy on the bike and do your best on the run. Even of you have to walk past of the run you can do it. Yes, walk is a four letter word, but it does propel you forward. I often take walk breaks during the IM and sometimes I'm walking faster than people are running. Just keep putting one for in front of the other one. It's great to have goals, but on race day you have to deal with what life gives you. You're family will be more concerned about you than if you finished our not. If you're anything like me you'll be more hard on yourself than your wife or kids will ever be. Go out there enjoy the day. Thank the volunteers, cheer on the other athletes and smile. It's not everyday you get to do an ironman and you will do one.

 

 

jaleslie

David,

After recently completing my first full (also after a couple of prior HIMs), I can honestly tell you that if you have been doing the workouts, RR, etc. as written, and you execute as instructed by the coaches, you will be surprised on race day...by, 1)  how accurate all of the talk about what the other 90% are doing, 2)  how much easier it will be for you due to proper execution, and 3) how prepared you are.  

I had the same thoughts/concerns as you listed.  As long as you don't screw it up on the bike and/or swim, or crash, or have a major GI problem, you will finish and probably better your predictions.  I rode at 0.67 (targeting 0.7, but was not aggressive enough passing early on the ride and didn't want to risk anything on the run.  I had no problems running off the bike, almost even split the run, and ran the whole marathon.  I'm no athlete either.  

You can do this.  Trust the coaches and the advice, stay in your box on race day and the rest will just "happen". 

 

Al Truscott

Words to remember on race day: "patience" and "humility".
Pay attention to your nutrition and your pace; your time and place will take care of themselves.
Trust (y)our training.
Execution trumps fitness; use the time you used to spend training, during the next ten days to go to school in the wiki on race execution. That $h!t works.
I've seen many people have successful races after seemingly insufficient run training in the 3-4 weeks before an IM ...meaning running the whole way (myself included.)

Shaughn Simmons

Reiterating the keys provided below:

Pull your plan out, review it and remind yourself that you did the work.

Focus on executing what you have been taught in terms of pacing and nutrition.

Control the negative thoughts and make a choice to not entertain them from now until the finish line.

Maintain self-confidence at all times.

You will cross the finish line.  You will become and IM and we will all celebrate that great accomplishment with you!

KMF!