Tracy: Having those doubts are part of IM training---at least for me. Before just about every race, I always feel like I had an extra 4 weeks under my belt. While on the long runs I wish that the race would get be done, I always wish I had more time to train at the start line. If you have no time goals, if this race is to put behind you a bad experience or certain negative things, then yes you should show up at the start line so you can cross the finish line---not just of the race, but to that chapter in your life. As long as you don't further injure your knee, I think you should go for it. We're all here to support you.
Had a really good deep tissue massage today. My LMT dug her little fingers into the rock hard knots in my calves---painful, but good. Since I've been doing Leigh's self massage stuff, she (my massage therapist) can better knead out my muscles and get better soft tissue release. Thank you, Leigh!
Funny you should post your thoughts Tracy because I'm kind of in the same place. It must be the final push before tapering down - we're beaten and bruised and exhausted and our minds are starting to play tricks on us. I was on a such a high after the Rally but then my tendinitis flared up after the 2.5 hour run. All of a sudden I'm imagining having that pain for the marathon and thinking, "Oh my god, how much pain can I tolerate? Will my run be a walk instead?" These thoughts have occupied a lot of my head space this week.
But no smack to the head for you! Rather than dismiss them or tamp down the thoughts, I think now is a great opportunity to embrace them, pick and pull them apart, see what's really going on in there. I like Beth's suggestion to think about what it would take to make you happy. Now is the time to put that in place, not at the starting line. I'm trying to use this time to organize my feelings about being injured and having to readjust expectations. I'm not there yet - if an epiphany was a boiling pot of water then I'm only at the point where tiny bubbles are starting to cling to the bottom of the pot. But I'm gettin' there...
Great post Suzanne. I am there with you and Tracy. Struggling to wrap my head around what I have signed up to do in less than 30 days now. Also dealing with a new location to train, new job and being completely without physical support right now. Also trying to get to the bottom of all of this both mentally and emotionally before race day.
I keep telling myself one day at a time and I will get through it.
Carly, you have bitten off a lot, but think how good you will feel when you have completed your IM!
I feel for all of you ladies who are experiencing a little doubt about your IM day, but also envy how close you are to achieving your goals for this season. November seems so far away!
On a related note, does anyone know if WTC allows transfers from one IM to another? IM Texas is starting to look so good, despite the cruddy early spring training. I emailed them but have not yet received a response.
Just 2 more hours of work and then I get to go test drive new (well, pre owned, but new to me) cars!
I think you need to do the race, Tracy. With the same disclaimer that others have pointed out about the potential for any further injury to your knee, this is something that you will do.
It sounds like you ARE in the right place with respect to not having a time goal and shaping your experience of the event on that day as a comeback and a regaining of yourself. That, to me, sounds like a heck of a "one thing." You have done so much work to get to this point. Your body, soul, and mind are really fatigued and it is totally normal to have doubt about whether you really will do the event. But tapering will be great and will do wonders to focus your perspective more intently on the reason(s) for which this is so important to you. If you need some extra recovery and taper time, take it. Use it to think through your day on the course. See yourself swimming in Mirror Lake, feel yourself getting smacked around in the head there (if it helps), watch yourself coming out of the water. Then see yourself on the bike. Make peace with the areas where you expect to feel tired and where you might start to have doubts and then practice what you are going to tell yourself to refocus. Imagine T2 and celebrate that you've only got the run left to do. Visualize the run. The fun aid stations, people you don't know calling out encouragement, the EN gang sign coming at you from teammates. Even feel the discomfort in your knee and come up with your strategy for handling it and, again, practice what you will tell yourself to push onward. Then see the chute and just imagine what that will feel like.
Sorry if that's a bit new-age-y or whack-o, but I think if you separate yourself from the exhaustion and doubt that you feel now, and focus on where you'll be when you're rested and out on course you'll find that you'll be in a place where you can just take care of things as they come....almost like a long shift at work....but way more fun 'cuz you'll have people cheering for you and giving you food and drinks and stuff...and YOU will be the boss. I'd say too that any plans A, B, C, etc. should, at this point, be about how you will manage your day in LP. Not about any other potential race.
Tracy - I was just thinking...and wanted to reiterate that if you imagine your day on course WITH the struggles you know you will have and begin to come up with strategies for telling yourself that you will be OK and that you will continue to the finish you'll be equipped to get to the finish. No sense imagining that everything will be great, and full of peaches and unicorns when we all know that it won't. There will be plenty of challenges that you will feel that day, but there are very few (barring medical or technical issues) that have to be show stoppers.
I think you need to do the race, Tracy. With the same disclaimer that others have pointed out about the potential for any further injury to your knee, this is something that you will do.
It sounds like you ARE in the right place with respect to not having a time goal and shaping your experience of the event on that day as a comeback and a regaining of yourself. That, to me, sounds like a heck of a "one thing." You have done so much work to get to this point. Your body, soul, and mind are really fatigued and it is totally normal to have doubt about whether you really will do the event. But tapering will be great and will do wonders to focus your perspective more intently on the reason(s) for which this is so important to you. If you need some extra recovery and taper time, take it. Use it to think through your day on the course. See yourself swimming in Mirror Lake, feel yourself getting smacked around in the head there (if it helps), watch yourself coming out of the water. Then see yourself on the bike. Make peace with the areas where you expect to feel tired and where you might start to have doubts and then practice what you are going to tell yourself to refocus. Imagine T2 and celebrate that you've only got the run left to do. Visualize the run. The fun aid stations, people you don't know calling out encouragement, the EN gang sign coming at you from teammates. Even feel the discomfort in your knee and come up with your strategy for handling it and, again, practice what you will tell yourself to push onward. Then see the chute and just imagine what that will feel like.
Sorry if that's a bit new-age-y or whack-o, but I think if you separate yourself from the exhaustion and doubt that you feel now, and focus on where you'll be when you're rested and out on course you'll find that you'll be in a place where you can just take care of things as they come....almost like a long shift at work....but way more fun 'cuz you'll have people cheering for you and giving you food and drinks and stuff...and YOU will be the boss. I'd say too that any plans A, B, C, etc. should, at this point, be about how you will manage your day in LP. Not about any other potential race.
Tracy, I have been reading all the wonderful comments from all the great gals to you, still want to find where PM is on EN to read the note to Kitima. As you most likely know I finished my HIM in Kona with my son about 3 weeks ago. I can really relate to all of it, especially the knee (war stories there). Someone very dear to me and about 3 weeks from my race said as a (slip of the tongue if you ask me), "Well even IF you finish this race you are going to have taken away all the joy by dwelling and dwelling on all your fears and what if's and second doubts". Well... after she said the IF YOU FINISHED I had a hard time taking in the most important part of what she was saying. It was in an email and I wrote back "ouch", related to the IF I finish. Once I got over my pride and ego being bruised I began to take in the most important part of what she was saying. I do have to admit from that day on there was NO POSSIBILITY that I wasn't going to finish (barring any extreme medical life threatening issue). So with 3 weeks left, which is about where you are and was about where I was. I began to consciously stop these types of thoughts. I put a rubber band on my wrist and every time I had one of those "negative thoughts" I snapped the rubber band and put a more balanced more realistic thought in my mind. I visualized the finish line, I visualized the entire race, won't go through it all but you know, finishing the swim, T1, finishing the bike T2, etc. I literally carried ALL of my EN friends in my head and ran through all the generous postings that everyone gives one another and refused to allow the "evil twin" inside of me trying to take over.
Our mind is a powerful place, we can not choose MUCH of what happens in our live's, the one and most important CHOICE we have is what we choose to THINK, we choose our thoughts, those thoughts lead to a feeling, those feelings lead to a mood, those moods lead to a behavior, and those chosen behaviors lead to physical problems. I guess what I am saying is the good news is we all have the power to CHOOSE OUR THOUGHTS. When one realizes this and really internalizes it, it can be a very powerful transformation. So practice it and get the rubber band and put it on and see if you can snap yourself and "choose" a more balanced, more rational, more positive thought. You will be amazed at the outcome. I also use a number scale so on a scale of 0-9 I give the feeling a number (no 5s, 5s are cheating and don't give information), so if for example your fear of something in that moment is a 7, start using the cognitive shift of putting in a more rational, positive and probably more likely to be true than your original thought. Then see what the number is again. Anything over 6 has to be dealt with in the way I am hopefully describing as best I can. If you really truly work at this, and I mean really work at it. Working at it at a level of how much work you put into training your body, you will see a big difference. It is actually quite funny in a sad way how much space in our brain we allow all of these negative thoughts; they move in sometimes literally and try to rent a space in our brain. I say evict them; give them a number of days or hours to move out.
My last strategy is to allow yourself to have a "pity party", say for 30 minutes, or 15 minutes a day. Schedule it in your day and then not allow yourself to indulge in those thoughts until the following day, literally schedule it, you will be surprised that after a few days you can't find the time for the "pity party", but when you do have your "pity party" really go DEEP, e.g. I am awful, I will never be able to do x, y, z, my life is a tragedy, no one understands me, everyone else is more fit or what ever what ever, just really go for it. But put a time limit on it and don't break your own appointment.
I know this is long and I hope it makes sense, but I want you to be able to take your power back, the power of your thoughts and ENJOY every day leading up to your big day of the gift we have, doing an IM, blissfully taking in our blessings and "smile" all during the race as often as you can, ask someone out there if they are OK, or if they need anything, a very empowering moment. The very best to you and can't wait to read your race report!
Hey did you check the IM website?? K.. I know for WI that it says no transfers and only $150 refund by end of July. I thought you could change too but maybe not.
y'all have a good one, I am ready for the TT tomorrow, at the LBS everybody seemed pretty serious about it!! maybe 70 people?? and I think juniors, women and then the men!! oh boy. I think we are just the bait,/carrots and personally we should had them pay our race entry!!! lol. I can only think of rabbits being let loose and the dogs being contained on leashes until some command!!! people tell me "not many women race it".... okay me and Heather will be there.. and the RD said if you don't puke on your top bar then you have left something out on the course!! okay so 9 years ago tomorrow I was giving birth to Grace so only fitting that I am in pain again!!
Just have to say you are all WONDERFUL!!!! Thanks for all the great IDEAS! I am doing better. One of the things behind me that will help a lot is that I have done 2 other IMs & handful of 70.3s. My 50 mile ultras experience will help too. In my workouts on days that I may be struggling, I think about possible tough times on the course, I push through and get it done. After I posted, I also checked out a video on youtube with the 2009 IMLP finish. I just finished my shift in the med tent, was able to catch the last 25 minutes. With 1 to go Matt Long finished. He is a NYC FF, hit by a bus a few yrs ago. then someone else finished with 1 sec to spare. Very inspiring!
I promise you all that if it is a bad knee thing I will stop. I won't jeopordize that. It is usually more achy than anything. I can tell the difference. Doing ok with running, biking bothers more. Going to play with Kinesiotape. I had a good ride today, although slow, no dizziness like I did in LP due to inadequate nutrition( bad Tracy Bad) My knee was achy, no pain. I had more pain with try short chafing- OUCH
I like the idea of dumping the bad stuff prior to the race, and now coming to LP with fresh start, as a celebration, begining of new chapter. I'll work/revise my One Thing so it is glass Half Full. I know you guys will all be with me in spirit, that will help for sure
@ Kristen- you are not able to transfer races
Carly & Suzanne- you guys have had a challenging time. We Will get through this!
Marianne- Have a great TT, Happy Birthday to Grace
nemo- Sounds like your TTT went well
Ok- at work gotta scoot. This night is kind of dragging last few hours. 1 1/2 hrs left
checking in quickly - not much to report. I've had a strange training weekend... trouble sleeping Fri so meeting Tracy and Suzanne didn't happen, which was disappoining to me - need to start working hills and it would have been nice to have such great and inspiring company. I did run with my running group (Dan was very surprised when I showed up) and the lack of sleep and the heat took it's tool so I didn't hit my zones. Oh well. Got in late from a movie so getting up in 5 hours to meet up with a group to ride the Poolesville hills didn't happen so I didn some quality drainer time when I did get up (100 not factoring in humidity)... tried to do the brick. ran 15 of the 20 minutes. Not quite Z3... closer to Z2. I'll take it.
tracking a few folks at CDA. I am sooooo happy to report that my friend Doug made the swim cut off. I first checked about 3 hours in and no time was posted for him which really stressed me out. With a heavy heart I dropped a note to his wife. She almost immediately responded that he came back in with 15 minutes to spare and was riding! Hooray!!!
Hope the TTs went well Nemo and Marianne.
I hope the ride went well yesterday Suzanne and Tracy, I wish I sucked it up and went... but I was afraid it would be an epic fail - hard hills, super hot and humid, on an empty/tired tank...
@Kristen - it's selfish of me to hope to stick with FL, but I understand... I wonder, if the oil gets really bad, if they'll grant a special dispensation for IMFL folks?
Thank you for the info, Tracy. You and WTC replied about the same time. So, Becky, Florida is on! I can't wait to meet you there. Sorry you're having a rough training weekend.
I'm going to remember this thread and everyone's helpful comments to Tracy. I know I'll need to read it again and again as Florida approaches!
Brian (DH) made a funny comment yesterday about WTC and Ironman entry. He said they charge fees like the airlines do and they have a crappier transfer or refund policy. Kinda true. Frankly they P me off more than I want to admit. And I get somewhat disgusted at some of their product endorsements (Wheaties Fuel? Really? No way no how people.) I'm thinking that next year I will race only indie races, even though those are getting fewer and farther between. You know, it'll be my way of stickin' it to the man. Ha, ha. I know, like my silent protest would really matter...and like I could actually say that I'd never give another dime to them. GRRRR! I admit, they do put on quality events and know how to execute an athlete experience like none other.
I do think that Becky is probably right. If the conditions aren't safe in the water off the gulf they will have to do something for all participants.
Hope you get some sleep B. Don't be afraid to take a few extra days off to get things back in order. Especially to get out of that nasty heat! That is one thing I do not miss about living out there. It's a nice non-humid, sunny, 70 degrees here in Breckenridge, CO. (You all are welcome to join me any time!! )But really...take some days, get your mojo back. You've got plenty of time before IMFL.
Husband just got back from trip to AZ.. and he got back and was struck by our humidity... sister in law in TX said the same thing. and this is what I tell people from here who do IDaho... no humidity.. bring saline drops for your nose and plenty of lotion! My eyes were dried up! horrible. smile. now KY was like here.. hot and humid so no problem with acclimation. LP was cool and cold and rainy. like every day it rained. very British! Jacket weather. FLA was freezing the year I did it and windy and arid.. so again just salty skin and taste in mouth. the views are diff in each place so refreshing and rewarding. but yes when I go out to my car in garage to retrieve stuff, I sweat!! and going out to my mailbox, I sweat! hauling in groceries, I am soaked! I just always have a towel in my car!! ha. m
Olivia- don't get me started!!! Ironman perfume from Avon???? Really???? Give me a break! And the coverage on Ironmanlive yesterday was downright pitaful. They spent more time advertising (ok, I get it, they gotta make money somehow) than showing the freakin race! And while the mens race was a run-a-way from nearly the beginning, there was lots going on in the womans race, and yet they hardly ever showed the ladies! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!! Contrast that to the Rev3 race I watched online a few weeks ago- sooooooo much better! I hope those races start to really get traction 'cause WTC could use some competition.
OTOH, my understanding is that they had to cancel IM China because the Government put a quarenteen on the whole place for foot & mouth disease. That happened just a few weeks before the race and apparently WTC arranged to switch the race to another location (another semi-local race) and offered to transfer folks to that race no charge. Folks from outside the ASPAC area were given other options to transfer their spots. So I guess they did some good there.
I like the idea of going completely indie race for a year. Now that I think of it, the things I'm dreaming about next year are all indie -- the Fargo Marathon (you can't beat the spectators there and beautiful course), MC-200 relay from Madison to Chicago, the Horribly Hilly Hundres, the Dairyland Dare. Maybe I should find a tri too!
With HIM training, I made a note that around eight weeks out, I felt like I was "traveling" because there was so much packing, etc. about eight weeks out. With ironman training, that point has already hit at 12 weeks out. I'm just going to accept that my house isn't going to be very clean through this Ironman.
I'm just going to accept that my house isn't going to be very clean through this Ironman.
If you could only see my place now, WAR ZONE
I am actually taking today to clean, I need to, can't find things and driving me crazy
finally seemed to have recovered after my night shift from Saturday. I could not wake up yesterday, absolutely useless. I love what I do, just don't like nights ( especially after a 4 1/2 hr bike ride in the heat). Time to get back to cleaning
Today on the metro I was thinking about my One Thing. I lost two family members over two weeks this spring and then was crushed to learn of an old boss's death (at only 57!) yesterday. The thought, "At least I'm alive" has crossed my mind multiple times in training so I was thinking that that would be my one thing - yeah, I'm more broken and bruised than I'd prefer to be at this point but at least I'm mobile and active and making the most out of the hand I've got. I get into the office to an e-mail announcing that a colleague had succumbed to pancreatic cancer and the first post on Facebook was about Gina's dog. So that settles it, right? Being alive. Not putting it off. Getting it done now. Living.
@Tracy - know the feelings... I've had to take days off to get admin done (cleaning, shopping, etc)...and I've had a heck of a time recovering from my sleep deficit (although I don't have a reason, like a night shift).
@Nemo - I don't think the crazy ads are necessary... IM already makes a boatload of money from registration, etc... and, from what I'm told, they are much more stingy with the swag bags now despite the crazy high prices. Get back on the soap box; sing it from the rooftops!
@Suzanne - sorry to hear of yet another loss. Wow. But very well said. Your amazing attitude is what inspired me to sign up for the IM after my injury. I say that with all sincerity. You've battled so much in life and have taken it all in stride and are doing what you can while you can... live life and enjoy it! No regrets.
Suzanne- I couldn't agree with you more! On my rick run this morning the first song that popped onto the ipod was that one "if tomorrow was your last day" or whatever it's called. Anyway- I also got news of a aquaintence that was hit by a car (while riding his bike) yesterday, and then saw Gina's FB post about L'il Bit. That song made me want to turn around and run back home to my husband! He wasn't actually home anyway so that wouldn't have done anything- but it did make me greatful I had gotten the workout done early. Need to pack Fiona and spend quality time with Joe tonight for sure!
Posted By Kitima Boonvisudhi on 29 Jun 2010 11:12 AM
Posted By Suzanne Kinsky on 29 Jun 2010 08:47 AM
Being alive. Not putting it off. Getting it done now. Living.
Amen to that, sista!
x 3 !!!!
You guys know by now, I put down my Lil Bit yesterday. It is alwasy soooo hard to do this, but you gotta do what's right for them. Those little things count on us to not let them suffer. I rescued her from the middle of the road 16 years ago and she had a good, long life. Thank you for all your kind words.
Hoping Keith (Patch) is ok. Anxiously checking FB fro any updates from Linda. Please don't let it be anything other than minor injuries??!
Suzanne, what a succinct, true comment. You really brought me back to reality with that. Thank you! @Tracy, glad to hear you are feeling better and the mojo is returning. I"m working on mine....slowly but surely. Gina, so sorry to hear about Lil Bit. I have lost a dog a few years ago, and it is devastating. Hugs to you and Su. And regarding messy houses, etc.; my car looks like I live in it! Water bottles, bike shoes, run shoes, fanny packs, etc. Time to clean it out! @ Becky, get some rest, girl! Marianne, I can so relate to what you are saying about sweating. I sweat like a guy. Came by it honestly, from my Dad. I hate it! I can break into a sweat just standing in the sun for a minute! IMLOU will be very interesting...taking my Succeed caps with me as they are lifesavers! I'm working right now, on planning my Mom's 90th birthday party! So excited! She is a sweetheart. (Yes, I'm biased, but she truly is.)
Gina, once again, so sorry to hear about Lil Bit. I have two shelter dogs, both of whom had rough starts in life, and I really get a kick out of watching them sleep away in a nice comfy bed (just like your FB pic of Lil Bit). You're so right about our responsibility to them - but what a hard decision.
Becky, thanks for your kind words!
Light randomness: I am so shelled from last weekend! The heat just killed me. Tracy, Eric and I had such a great time riding together (and I appreciate their company more than they know given that it was my first time on the road) but I was wasted afterward. Then Sunday...oh Sunday. I wanted to get up butt-crack early to be done by 9 or 10 but I couldn't drag myself out of bed until 6:30 (I know, sooooo late). Then I realized that my front tire had 'sploded overnight. First I noticed it was flat, then I saw a split in the seam and I had this moment of "Was I riding on that yesterday without knowing?" Once I pulled everything off I realized that the tire and tube were shredded. WTF? So I fix that all up and then turn on Garmin - and my programmed ABP ride is deleted. The universe was telling me not to ride people! I lasted for 2:30 and called it a day.
I'm starting the "nesting" mode of race prep with buying up all sorts of things I need. Today it was $100 on two new Contis. Tonight I might hit up REI to see if a Camelbak bite valve will fit my Speedfil. Tomorrow: diamond tiara? We'll see!
Posted By Kitima Boonvisudhi on 29 Jun 2010 11:12 AM
Posted By Suzanne Kinsky on 29 Jun 2010 08:47 AM
Being alive. Not putting it off. Getting it done now. Living.
Amen to that, sista!
x 3 !!!!
You guys know by now, I put down my Lil Bit yesterday. It is alwasy soooo hard to do this, but you gotta do what's right for them. Those little things count on us to not let them suffer. I rescued her from the middle of the road 16 years ago and she had a good, long life. Thank you for all your kind words.
Hoping Keith (Patch) is ok. Anxiously checking FB fro any updates from Linda. Please don't let it be anything other than minor injuries??!
The timeliness of this discussion could not be more poignant! Sending hugs, wishes, prayers, and thoughts to the Patches.
Posted By Kitima Boonvisudhi on 29 Jun 2010 11:12 AM
Posted By Suzanne Kinsky on 29 Jun 2010 08:47 AM
Being alive. Not putting it off. Getting it done now. Living.
Amen to that, sista!
x 3 !!!!
You guys know by now, I put down my Lil Bit yesterday. It is alwasy soooo hard to do this, but you gotta do what's right for them. Those little things count on us to not let them suffer. I rescued her from the middle of the road 16 years ago and she had a good, long life. Thank you for all your kind words.
Hoping Keith (Patch) is ok. Anxiously checking FB fro any updates from Linda. Please don't let it be anything other than minor injuries??!
The timeliness of this discussion could not be more poignant! Sending hugs, wishes, prayers, and thoughts to the Patches.
x4. Haus needs lots of hugs this week, and I'm sending them. It is a good day to give thanks because we are whole, safe, and and can complete the simple, beautiful act of putting one foot in front of the other.
I just got chills rereading our posts of the morning... what a day it's been; what tremendously heavy news we've received from so many different sources/places today...I don't mean to be mushy, I'm not usually a mushy person, but this has been such a strange year... such a strange few weeks... I just want you to know that I'm thankful to have such a great network of support and encouragement. I'm thankful for you, my new friends. For your wisdom and experience and support and encouragement. You're all in my thoughts and prayers - on the days you need me and on the days you don't. Borrowing Gina's sign off: take care of your hearts and your parts.
1. I was there and saw Matt Long out on the course and yes very inspiring, note that he had friends/pacers with him, note: thru difficult times, you need support. Also you shoulda have seen his focus. I mean like he was 100% on the road in front of him and only just one step at a time. He was running with a vengeance (to beat the clock) and the crowd support was amazing. 2. heavy heart as I think of Linda already packed up her bike for camp, just had an anniversary and now Keith in hospital... really sick about this one.
3. okay I am grilling chicken outside, a cool day, uncommon. m
Comments
Had a really good deep tissue massage today. My LMT dug her little fingers into the rock hard knots in my calves---painful, but good. Since I've been doing Leigh's self massage stuff, she (my massage therapist) can better knead out my muscles and get better soft tissue release. Thank you, Leigh!
But no smack to the head for you! Rather than dismiss them or tamp down the thoughts, I think now is a great opportunity to embrace them, pick and pull them apart, see what's really going on in there. I like Beth's suggestion to think about what it would take to make you happy. Now is the time to put that in place, not at the starting line. I'm trying to use this time to organize my feelings about being injured and having to readjust expectations. I'm not there yet - if an epiphany was a boiling pot of water then I'm only at the point where tiny bubbles are starting to cling to the bottom of the pot. But I'm gettin' there...
I keep telling myself one day at a time and I will get through it.
I feel for all of you ladies who are experiencing a little doubt about your IM day, but also envy how close you are to achieving your goals for this season. November seems so far away!
On a related note, does anyone know if WTC allows transfers from one IM to another? IM Texas is starting to look so good, despite the cruddy early spring training. I emailed them but have not yet received a response.
Just 2 more hours of work and then I get to go test drive new (well, pre owned, but new to me) cars!
It sounds like you ARE in the right place with respect to not having a time goal and shaping your experience of the event on that day as a comeback and a regaining of yourself. That, to me, sounds like a heck of a "one thing." You have done so much work to get to this point. Your body, soul, and mind are really fatigued and it is totally normal to have doubt about whether you really will do the event. But tapering will be great and will do wonders to focus your perspective more intently on the reason(s) for which this is so important to you. If you need some extra recovery and taper time, take it. Use it to think through your day on the course. See yourself swimming in Mirror Lake, feel yourself getting smacked around in the head there (if it helps), watch yourself coming out of the water. Then see yourself on the bike. Make peace with the areas where you expect to feel tired and where you might start to have doubts and then practice what you are going to tell yourself to refocus. Imagine T2 and celebrate that you've only got the run left to do. Visualize the run. The fun aid stations, people you don't know calling out encouragement, the EN gang sign coming at you from teammates. Even feel the discomfort in your knee and come up with your strategy for handling it and, again, practice what you will tell yourself to push onward. Then see the chute and just imagine what that will feel like.
Sorry if that's a bit new-age-y or whack-o, but I think if you separate yourself from the exhaustion and doubt that you feel now, and focus on where you'll be when you're rested and out on course you'll find that you'll be in a place where you can just take care of things as they come....almost like a long shift at work....but way more fun 'cuz you'll have people cheering for you and giving you food and drinks and stuff...and YOU will be the boss. I'd say too that any plans A, B, C, etc. should, at this point, be about how you will manage your day in LP. Not about any other potential race.
You can do this, Tracy. I don't doubt it.
goood stuff, Olivia.... thanks!!
Tracy, I have been reading all the wonderful comments from all the great gals to you, still want to find where PM is on EN to read the note to Kitima. As you most likely know I finished my HIM in Kona with my son about 3 weeks ago. I can really relate to all of it, especially the knee (war stories there). Someone very dear to me and about 3 weeks from my race said as a (slip of the tongue if you ask me), "Well even IF you finish this race you are going to have taken away all the joy by dwelling and dwelling on all your fears and what if's and second doubts". Well... after she said the IF YOU FINISHED I had a hard time taking in the most important part of what she was saying. It was in an email and I wrote back "ouch", related to the IF I finish. Once I got over my pride and ego being bruised I began to take in the most important part of what she was saying. I do have to admit from that day on there was NO POSSIBILITY that I wasn't going to finish (barring any extreme medical life threatening issue). So with 3 weeks left, which is about where you are and was about where I was. I began to consciously stop these types of thoughts. I put a rubber band on my wrist and every time I had one of those "negative thoughts" I snapped the rubber band and put a more balanced more realistic thought in my mind. I visualized the finish line, I visualized the entire race, won't go through it all but you know, finishing the swim, T1, finishing the bike T2, etc. I literally carried ALL of my EN friends in my head and ran through all the generous postings that everyone gives one another and refused to allow the "evil twin" inside of me trying to take over.
Our mind is a powerful place, we can not choose MUCH of what happens in our live's, the one and most important CHOICE we have is what we choose to THINK, we choose our thoughts, those thoughts lead to a feeling, those feelings lead to a mood, those moods lead to a behavior, and those chosen behaviors lead to physical problems. I guess what I am saying is the good news is we all have the power to CHOOSE OUR THOUGHTS. When one realizes this and really internalizes it, it can be a very powerful transformation. So practice it and get the rubber band and put it on and see if you can snap yourself and "choose" a more balanced, more rational, more positive thought. You will be amazed at the outcome. I also use a number scale so on a scale of 0-9 I give the feeling a number (no 5s, 5s are cheating and don't give information), so if for example your fear of something in that moment is a 7, start using the cognitive shift of putting in a more rational, positive and probably more likely to be true than your original thought. Then see what the number is again. Anything over 6 has to be dealt with in the way I am hopefully describing as best I can. If you really truly work at this, and I mean really work at it. Working at it at a level of how much work you put into training your body, you will see a big difference. It is actually quite funny in a sad way how much space in our brain we allow all of these negative thoughts; they move in sometimes literally and try to rent a space in our brain. I say evict them; give them a number of days or hours to move out.
My last strategy is to allow yourself to have a "pity party", say for 30 minutes, or 15 minutes a day. Schedule it in your day and then not allow yourself to indulge in those thoughts until the following day, literally schedule it, you will be surprised that after a few days you can't find the time for the "pity party", but when you do have your "pity party" really go DEEP, e.g. I am awful, I will never be able to do x, y, z, my life is a tragedy, no one understands me, everyone else is more fit or what ever what ever, just really go for it. But put a time limit on it and don't break your own appointment.
I know this is long and I hope it makes sense, but I want you to be able to take your power back, the power of your thoughts and ENJOY every day leading up to your big day of the gift we have, doing an IM, blissfully taking in our blessings and "smile" all during the race as often as you can, ask someone out there if they are OK, or if they need anything, a very empowering moment. The very best to you and can't wait to read your race report!
y'all have a good one, I am ready for the TT tomorrow, at the LBS everybody seemed pretty serious about it!! maybe 70 people?? and I think juniors, women and then the men!! oh boy. I think we are just the bait,/carrots and personally we should had them pay our race entry!!! lol. I can only think of rabbits being let loose and the dogs being contained on leashes until some command!!! people tell me "not many women race it".... okay me and Heather will be there.. and the RD said if you don't puke on your top bar then you have left something out on the course!! okay so 9 years ago tomorrow I was giving birth to Grace so only fitting that I am in pain again!!
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Just have to say you are all WONDERFUL!!!! Thanks for all the great IDEAS! I am doing better. One of the things behind me that will help a lot is that I have done 2 other IMs & handful of 70.3s. My 50 mile ultras experience will help too. In my workouts on days that I may be struggling, I think about possible tough times on the course, I push through and get it done. After I posted, I also checked out a video on youtube with the 2009 IMLP finish. I just finished my shift in the med tent, was able to catch the last 25 minutes. With 1 to go Matt Long finished. He is a NYC FF, hit by a bus a few yrs ago. then someone else finished with 1 sec to spare. Very inspiring!
Here is the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5k3...p;index=26
I promise you all that if it is a bad knee thing I will stop. I won't jeopordize that. It is usually more achy than anything. I can tell the difference. Doing ok with running, biking bothers more. Going to play with Kinesiotape. I had a good ride today, although slow, no dizziness like I did in LP due to inadequate nutrition( bad Tracy Bad) My knee was achy, no pain. I had more pain with try short chafing- OUCH
I like the idea of dumping the bad stuff prior to the race, and now coming to LP with fresh start, as a celebration, begining of new chapter. I'll work/revise my One Thing so it is glass Half Full
. I know you guys will all be with me in spirit, that will help for sure
@ Kristen- you are not able to transfer races
Carly & Suzanne- you guys have had a challenging time. We Will get through this!
Marianne- Have a great TT, Happy Birthday to Grace
nemo- Sounds like your TTT went well
Ok- at work gotta scoot. This night is kind of dragging last few hours. 1 1/2 hrs left
hey ladies!
checking in quickly - not much to report. I've had a strange training weekend... trouble sleeping Fri so meeting Tracy and Suzanne didn't happen, which was disappoining to me - need to start working hills and it would have been nice to have such great and inspiring company. I did run with my running group (Dan was very surprised when I showed up) and the lack of sleep and the heat took it's tool so I didn't hit my zones. Oh well. Got in late from a movie so getting up in 5 hours to meet up with a group to ride the Poolesville hills didn't happen so I didn some quality drainer time when I did get up (100 not factoring in humidity)... tried to do the brick. ran 15 of the 20 minutes. Not quite Z3... closer to Z2. I'll take it.
tracking a few folks at CDA. I am sooooo happy to report that my friend Doug made the swim cut off. I first checked about 3 hours in and no time was posted for him which really stressed me out. With a heavy heart I dropped a note to his wife. She almost immediately responded that he came back in with 15 minutes to spare and was riding! Hooray!!!
Hope the TTs went well Nemo and Marianne.
I hope the ride went well yesterday Suzanne and Tracy, I wish I sucked it up and went... but I was afraid it would be an epic fail - hard hills, super hot and humid, on an empty/tired tank...
@Kristen - it's selfish of me to hope to stick with FL, but I understand... I wonder, if the oil gets really bad, if they'll grant a special dispensation for IMFL folks?
Thank you for the info, Tracy. You and WTC replied about the same time. So, Becky, Florida is on! I can't wait to meet you there.
Sorry you're having a rough training weekend.
I'm going to remember this thread and everyone's helpful comments to Tracy. I know I'll need to read it again and again as Florida approaches!
What a beautiful day for an Ironman. Go Team EN!
I do think that Becky is probably right. If the conditions aren't safe in the water off the gulf they will have to do something for all participants.
Hope you get some sleep B. Don't be afraid to take a few extra days off to get things back in order. Especially to get out of that nasty heat! That is one thing I do not miss about living out there. It's a nice non-humid, sunny, 70 degrees here in Breckenridge, CO. (You all are welcome to join me any time!!
OTOH, my understanding is that they had to cancel IM China because the Government put a quarenteen on the whole place for foot & mouth disease. That happened just a few weeks before the race and apparently WTC arranged to switch the race to another location (another semi-local race) and offered to transfer folks to that race no charge. Folks from outside the ASPAC area were given other options to transfer their spots. So I guess they did some good there.
OK- off my soap box now!
Ironman perfume? Really?
I like the idea of going completely indie race for a year. Now that I think of it, the things I'm dreaming about next year are all indie -- the Fargo Marathon (you can't beat the spectators there and beautiful course), MC-200 relay from Madison to Chicago, the Horribly Hilly Hundres, the Dairyland Dare. Maybe I should find a tri too!
With HIM training, I made a note that around eight weeks out, I felt like I was "traveling" because there was so much packing, etc. about eight weeks out. With ironman training, that point has already hit at 12 weeks out. I'm just going to accept that my house isn't going to be very clean through this Ironman.
If you could only see my place now, WAR ZONE
I am actually taking today to clean, I need to, can't find things and driving me crazy
finally seemed to have recovered after my night shift from Saturday. I could not wake up yesterday, absolutely useless. I love what I do, just don't like nights ( especially after a 4 1/2 hr bike ride in the heat). Time to get back to cleaning
@Tracy - know the feelings... I've had to take days off to get admin done (cleaning, shopping, etc)...and I've had a heck of a time recovering from my sleep deficit (although I don't have a reason, like a night shift).
@Nemo - I don't think the crazy ads are necessary... IM already makes a boatload of money from registration, etc... and, from what I'm told, they are much more stingy with the swag bags now despite the crazy high prices. Get back on the soap box; sing it from the rooftops!
@Suzanne - sorry to hear of yet another loss. Wow. But very well said. Your amazing attitude is what inspired me to sign up for the IM after my injury. I say that with all sincerity. You've battled so much in life and have taken it all in stride and are doing what you can while you can... live life and enjoy it! No regrets.
Amen to that, sista!
And regarding messy houses, etc.; my car looks like I live in it! Water bottles, bike shoes, run shoes, fanny packs, etc. Time to clean it out! @ Becky, get some rest, girl!
Marianne, I can so relate to what you are saying about sweating. I sweat like a guy. Came by it honestly, from my Dad. I hate it! I can break into a sweat just standing in the sun for a minute! IMLOU will be very interesting...taking my Succeed caps with me as they are lifesavers!
I'm working right now, on planning my Mom's 90th birthday party! So excited! She is a sweetheart. (Yes, I'm biased, but she truly is.)
Becky, thanks for your kind words!
Light randomness: I am so shelled from last weekend! The heat just killed me. Tracy, Eric and I had such a great time riding together (and I appreciate their company more than they know given that it was my first time on the road) but I was wasted afterward. Then Sunday...oh Sunday. I wanted to get up butt-crack early to be done by 9 or 10 but I couldn't drag myself out of bed until 6:30 (I know, sooooo late). Then I realized that my front tire had 'sploded overnight. First I noticed it was flat, then I saw a split in the seam and I had this moment of "Was I riding on that yesterday without knowing?" Once I pulled everything off I realized that the tire and tube were shredded. WTF? So I fix that all up and then turn on Garmin - and my programmed ABP ride is deleted. The universe was telling me not to ride people! I lasted for 2:30 and called it a day.
I'm starting the "nesting" mode of race prep with buying up all sorts of things I need. Today it was $100 on two new Contis. Tonight I might hit up REI to see if a Camelbak bite valve will fit my Speedfil. Tomorrow: diamond tiara? We'll see!
See here for update on Keith:
http://endurancenation.us.dnnmax.com/Community/Forums/tabid/101/aff/32/aft/2535/afv/topic/Default.aspx
The timeliness of this discussion could not be more poignant! Sending hugs, wishes, prayers, and thoughts to the Patches.
I just got chills rereading our posts of the morning... what a day it's been; what tremendously heavy news we've received from so many different sources/places today...I don't mean to be mushy, I'm not usually a mushy person, but this has been such a strange year... such a strange few weeks... I just want you to know that I'm thankful to have such a great network of support and encouragement. I'm thankful for you, my new friends. For your wisdom and experience and support and encouragement. You're all in my thoughts and prayers - on the days you need me and on the days you don't. Borrowing Gina's sign off: take care of your hearts and your parts.
2. heavy heart as I think of Linda already packed up her bike for camp, just had an anniversary and now Keith in hospital... really sick about this one.
3. okay I am grilling chicken outside, a cool day, uncommon. m