To IMAZ in 5 weeks or not, that is the question...
Well... my IMAZ training came to a screeching halt almost 2 weeks ago and I'm not sure whether I can or should attempt to rekindle it. I was getting ready to hop on my trainer Thursday night, 9/28, when I got a call from my sister in Colorado that my mom had a stroke. An hour later, she texted me "her aorta is dissecting" and nurse wants to know if she has a living will or DNR, and that her kids should get to Colorado ASAP. I'm like WTH???
Needless to say, I flew to Colorado that night, very emotional and in a fog as to what the heck just happened. Good news is my mom is one strong 83yo and made it through a 7 hour open heart surgery during which they basically replaced a piece of her ascending aorta along with 2 aneurysms, and had to stop her heart for 36 minutes. She was living in an independent living facility when this happened, with the beginnings of early dementia. The surgery, with the decreased blood flow to her brain, the 5 days of heavy sedation in ICU, and her age all have very likely fast-tracked her dementia, although time will tell if her memory and confusion may clear. Fortunately, she's a super positive, loving, thankful, and social person, so she's really quite happy and thinks everyone should come "vacation" where she is - the hospital.
I was in Colorado til just this past Friday, of course mostly at the hospital, but also visiting local rehabs, assisted living facilities, and skilled nursing facilities - all in preparation for my mom's next chapters, which we don't even know when they will start. Lots and lots of unknowns! I do have a sister in Ft. Collins, thank god, who is now doing most of the legwork while mom is still in the hospital, but I anticipate needing to fly back in the next few weeks (before IM AZ) to see how she's doing in rehab and then likely help move her to a more permanent situation. I am also mom's financial POA, so am having to very quickly ramp up all those duties, as well as figure out financial implications of her next move.
So... that's the background. I've run once since this happened; the rest of the time, I've slept (a lot), talked multiple times every day with sister and other Colorado folks, and am catching up on a week's worth of missed work (at a relatively new job). I wanted to really give IMAZ my best effort, but it all seems sort of insignificant right now. I know I also need to be taking care of myself too, and maybe I could kickstart this weekend (I have buddies racing AZ and Los Cabos who are trying to get me to do a century this weekend), but... I just don't know. Sort of feel like the wind has left my sails and maybe a yoga class is more my speed right now.
Anybody been in a similar situation a few weeks before an IM? Should I bail and live to race another IM another day? Should I hop on the bike or go out for a run (in the smoky air here in NoCA) and see if the mojo returns?
Appreciate any/all input!
Needless to say, I flew to Colorado that night, very emotional and in a fog as to what the heck just happened. Good news is my mom is one strong 83yo and made it through a 7 hour open heart surgery during which they basically replaced a piece of her ascending aorta along with 2 aneurysms, and had to stop her heart for 36 minutes. She was living in an independent living facility when this happened, with the beginnings of early dementia. The surgery, with the decreased blood flow to her brain, the 5 days of heavy sedation in ICU, and her age all have very likely fast-tracked her dementia, although time will tell if her memory and confusion may clear. Fortunately, she's a super positive, loving, thankful, and social person, so she's really quite happy and thinks everyone should come "vacation" where she is - the hospital.
I was in Colorado til just this past Friday, of course mostly at the hospital, but also visiting local rehabs, assisted living facilities, and skilled nursing facilities - all in preparation for my mom's next chapters, which we don't even know when they will start. Lots and lots of unknowns! I do have a sister in Ft. Collins, thank god, who is now doing most of the legwork while mom is still in the hospital, but I anticipate needing to fly back in the next few weeks (before IM AZ) to see how she's doing in rehab and then likely help move her to a more permanent situation. I am also mom's financial POA, so am having to very quickly ramp up all those duties, as well as figure out financial implications of her next move.
So... that's the background. I've run once since this happened; the rest of the time, I've slept (a lot), talked multiple times every day with sister and other Colorado folks, and am catching up on a week's worth of missed work (at a relatively new job). I wanted to really give IMAZ my best effort, but it all seems sort of insignificant right now. I know I also need to be taking care of myself too, and maybe I could kickstart this weekend (I have buddies racing AZ and Los Cabos who are trying to get me to do a century this weekend), but... I just don't know. Sort of feel like the wind has left my sails and maybe a yoga class is more my speed right now.
Anybody been in a similar situation a few weeks before an IM? Should I bail and live to race another IM another day? Should I hop on the bike or go out for a run (in the smoky air here in NoCA) and see if the mojo returns?
Appreciate any/all input!
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I have not been through such an ordeal, but I have seen similar argued both ways. Seems the most common advice given in this situation is "this is just a game, take care of what is most important" vs "depends on your goals". IMAZ is never going away, so there should be no reason to feel "its now or never". You said you wanted to give it your best effort - now that that is not possible, is there still a strong enough reason to do it (i.e. just finishing)? Listen to your gut. If it is mostly saying "the wind has left my sails", I say DNS and live to fight another day