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Mental health and training

Jonathan BrownJonathan Brown
in General Training Discussions
hey all,  
I am not shy about my depression and anxiety issues, been dealing with it my whole life.  I honestly wish more people talked about it but that’s not why I’m posting.   Over the last few months the depression has hit really hard and the doctor upped my meds (double what they were) two weeks ago.  I’m noticing that I am so exhausted and mentally just not able to get the workouts done.  I’ve forced myself but I just can’t get the whole workout done.  Able to do like 45 minutes of an hour ride.

recommendations?  Thoughts?  The meds have not completely kicked in so I cannot say if they are helping the depression or not (takes some time).  Also they maybe messing with the meds more, we will see.  I don’t want to miss any more training.

Comments

  • Jeff HornJeff Horn
    @Jonathan Brown first thanks for sharing.  We are, after all a family here.  Second I would think that while you are in an adjustment period maybe reset your goals for the workouts until things (meds and energy) stabilize to new levels.  If you know you do not have the energy, don't compound the situation by having to deal with "failed" workouts.  If you set different goals during this period, set them up for "successes" to improve confidence and the energy and positive mojo will build, rather than the other way around.  If you know you can do 45 min, set your wko for 45 minutes, not an hour and a half.  Hope everything improves during this tough time.  
  • Patrick LargePatrick Large
    @Jonathan Brown
    Like @Jeff Horn I want to thank you for sharing. The group collectively wins from discussions like this. I also think that an adjustment of goals may be the best thing.  Make the the goal just getting suited up and out the door. In that case if you wanted 60:00 and only got 45:00, you've still won.  

    Good Luck and keep sharing!!

  • Jonathan BrownJonathan Brown
    Thank you @Patrick Large and @Jeff Horn.  The issue is that we all are very type A.  So trying to say, oh i will limit myself to X instead of Y is going to be very hard.  I agree 100% because it does like I failed if I dont get the whole workout in.  Then i start to worrying about my IM in October.  Downward spiral very fast.  :)


  • Trish MarshallTrish Marshall
    @Jonathan Brown thank you for being so open.  My daughter has mdd, ADD, and anxiety as well.  She is constantly exhausted.  She doesn't do our thing though, so she doesn't have the "failed" thing going other than "I'm 25 and I just want to be like other 25 year olds and I'm too tired to do anything!"  It is a constant battle.  And breaks my heart that I can't just fix it.  

    I really think you got some excellent advice above.  You just have to reframe your mindset about what you CAN do, similar to when we are injured.  Worrying about what we CAN'T do vs acting on what we CAN do is huge!  

    We have a nice long season to build into our party at IMKY.  I've no doubt you can and will be ready.  You are doing what you CAN...working to adjust meds to help your situation and training appropriately with the energy you currently have.  Be good to my Ventum brother please and thank you.  xoxoxo
  • Robert SaboRobert Sabo
    This sport/lifestyle of ours is supposed to be fun and makes our lives better not more stressful and anxious.  I know we have big goals and high expectations but whats really important is being healthy physically and mentally.
  • Patrick MarshPatrick Marsh
    Listen to your doctor’s orders on the meds.  However, I agree with @Robert Sabothat what  we are doing here through EN and by training is fun.  Depression and anxiety are challenging because they are both real and in your head.  Keep with the training, and do the best you can.  Accept that some days will be good and others less so.  However, through consistency you will make progress and get back to where you were.  Progress always gives me a sense of satisfaction.  Also, I try to find reasons to be grateful everyday.  Getting outside for a run, or having a solid ride, are always blissful experiences for me, and I am grateful for every opportunity I have.  Keep at it.  And remember, there are lots of people here everyday lending support to one another.  Looking forward to hearing of your progress.   
  • Brenda RossBrenda Ross
    @Jonathan Brown I myself do not deal with depression but my son does, so my heart goes out to you.  I wish I had some good advice for you, but I think the above recommendations sound good. Give yourself and your body a break. Let the meds get worked out and maybe the energy will get worked out as well.  I think just moving every day is a good thing.  Do not worry about the exact workouts. You are further ahead than someone sitting on the couch when you get a 45min workout in then none at all. Sending virtual hugs.
  • Coach PatrickCoach Patrick
    @Jonathan Brown Not much for me to add other than sharing that I consider every day I get to workout, regardless of the workout, a success. 

    Sometimes we see other athletes, or a big challenge race, as this unattainable thing. But it's important to remember the best way to "get there" is to do something every day, and rest when needed. 

    You are here. You are training. You are sharing. You have a team.

    I think you are doing pretty damn well!!

    ~ Coach P
  • Mariah BridgesMariah Bridges
    Hey friend - 

    I suffer from anxiety that is crippling sometimes and I agree, we need to talk about it more. I touched on it briefly in the podcast with the sports psychologist so might want to check that out and I really touched on it in the upcoming podcast about Kili. 

    For me, its small victories, talking about it and writing about them in my journal. Once I see a trend of what gives me the slightest bit of relief, I hyper-focus on that. 

    Letting go of expectations and focusing on what brings you joy is one thing but also what Patrick said, whatever you can do is a step in the right direction. Training creates endorphins and we all know we need to create as many of those as possible.

    I also know you work from home and I can tell you from experience, this isn't always an addition to sadness. Find a way to get out of the house, find a way to connect with local groups or even one training partner. Especially in your new neighborhood, I'm sure that will have benefits all around. The winter is almost over, so warmer weather will help with this, but get outside, get some sunshine and connect as much as you can and that includes connecting with yourself. 

    In the meantime, if you want an emotional accountability partner to talk with, virtually train with on a one on one basis, I'm always here for you.  

    You have a team that loves you and we can crack this slump together! 
  • Jonathan BrownJonathan Brown
    Thank you all.  I need somewhere to vent.  Sorry, home is not a place right now to vent because it causes tension.  I am trying to smile as much as possible and put on a happy face so I don't concern my partner.  My meds are really hosing me up.  I am about to reduce a dose of a pill because it is harder for me to get motivated and makes me extremely exhausted and make every step feel like i am walking in two feet of mud.  Oh dont worry because the other pill cause insomnia.  So why not chuck in sleeping meds that also make me drag the next day even more (taking those very sparingly and cutting them in half).  AHHHHHHH!!!

    The good part is one of the meds also cuts your appetite.  so I am losing a few pounds.  

    I am getting in any workouts that I can.  Theses last two weeks have been 2 works outs a week is all i could manage. 

    Sorry to complain and vent.  its just somewhere to get it out with people that understand working out is very important to our lives.  And when you dont workout, you feel fat, lazy, and really down in the dumps
        
  • Robert SaboRobert Sabo
    Don't apologize to us.  This is the place to vent for the exact reasons you stated.  We understand that side. I will repeat that at this time workouts should be exercise and not training and to de-stress NOT add stress.  We here to listen and help if we can.  Make sure your medication use is as directed by your physician.  Altering doses should be done with your doctors recommendation only.
  • Trish MarshallTrish Marshall
    Sending virtual hugs your way @Jonathan Brown.  This hits so close to home for me, as my daughter struggles with depression, anxiety and chronic fatigue at 25.  Plus stomach issues due to her meds.  It is such a struggle!  We are about to start working with a new doc to help (hopefully) resolve her stomach/energy issues.  

    Don't try and do this alone!  Lean into your partner.  He would not want you to struggle alone.  As a bystander and loved one, it is beyond frustrating to not be able to "fix it" for our loved ones, but I would rather know than not.  xoxoxoxo
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