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An Unexpected Barkley Adventure

So I thought I would share my thoughts on this past weekend's adventure while still fresh in my head.

As background, I haven't done any trail running since 2016. My last event was a 21 miler on pretty runnable terrain in 4:09.

This was not a planned race for me. I just came off a meh IMWisc last weekend. The plan was to go and support/cheer for @Francis Picard as he just got into this race off the waitlist about 3 weeks ago. I live in Chattanooga, so was a short drive to spectate. The players in the GroupMe and Francis egged me on a bit I suppose. Francis was saying how many people weren't coming or couldn't fulfill their slot off the waitlist due to the hurricane crashing ashore the week of the race. Since the race is so hard to get into, I thought why not I'll sign up...so I registered the Wednesday before the race (hoping that I wouldn't get in lol). I drove up to packet pick up after work Thursday and went to the registration table--just to see if there was a spot. To my dismay I was in...was handed all the packet materials and told just to get my bib in the morning...holy shit this was real. At this point Francis walks in and sees my reaction. My HR must have been about 135 standing still. I texted my wife to tell her and she was probably more excited than I was. After reading all the race reports that week, I was certain I would be stung, maimed, and probably lost and left for dead somewhere in Frozen Head state park.

After getting over my disbelief I hung out with Francis at the football game and watched the kids who would be our volunteers at tomorrows aid stations. All the runners were called out onto the field at halftime and we got recognition from the crowd at what would go down the next day. Then it was back to the hotel to get all our crap together and review the map we were given at registration.

Gear: Tech T, Salomon Slab shorts (with liner) ... I hated to wear these because I thought they would be ruined but they survived without so much as a stressed seam (and with zero charge), Salming Trail 5 shoes, calf compression sleeves, Salomon running vest pack with two front soft pouch flasks (boobs as @Steve boer and I call them) and a rear reservoir (the thing was super heavy when loaded). Carried several shot blocks, several bars, skratch singles, a compass, a whistle, bug spray, anti-chafe (never used), sting relief sticks, phone (GPS turned off). I wound up using a bar, and a couple of the skratch singles. The rest was dead weight. I will know this next time.

Race day: Woke up at 4 and went to the American Legion in Wartburg for breakfast. Pancakes, eggs, hashbrowns and very nice folks. Traveled 10 min to the race venue parked and met up with Francis. Got all our stuff together. Porta potty x 2. Got over to the start line a bit late, so hung out near the rear of the field. I didn't have ANY expectations of what was gonna happen. There is a decision point at mile 21 or so where if you get there by 4:30pm Laz lets you go for the full 50K. If you don't get there in time he says, better luck next time and you go finish the marathon. I knew Francis was gonna blaze so didn't try to keep up with him. We had a little speech from the race directors including Las, who then lit his cigarette and we were off. Weather was humid and in the 70s.

First mile and a half was up a paved park road to the trail entrance. Here you see the famous yellow gate from the Netflix movie. I stopped to lay hands on it for good luck and was then up the trail. My pack required a few early adjustments but was otherwise pretty stable (borrowed this pack from a friend as my version is the smaller, lighter, less stuff version). I was running pretty good considering I just did Wisc and wasn't completely recovered. Once we hit the first upward trail, I met the conga line. It was a single file march up the switchbacks of Bird Mtn. I had some people in front and behind that I made conversation with and I figured I'd just stick with them. We ran what we could and hiked the rest. Trail markings were pretty clear and the trail was good. Made it to the first aid station at 7.4 miles in pretty good shape. Refilled hydration then took off running the downhill portion. We then joined up with the Cumberland trail section and ran pretty good until Coffin Springs. Then we ran a "new" section that had not been included in the course before. This actually went out of Frozen head into another wildlife area. Again markings were good. This trail was littered with mud pits about every 300 yds or so for a stretch. I skirted these on the sides until the last one where I lost my focus, slipped and went down hard on my left side right into the mudpit. Got up thinking I'd broken my hip but was fine. Rest of this trail was hard downhill that lost about 1300ft over 1.4 miles over course gravel. My feet were hating this almost as much as my quads. Once we got to the bottom, took a left on the road and it was about a mile to the next Aid at Salvation rd Church. Refilled again and put on gloves because the Testicle Spectacle was right out the backyard of the Church. At this point in the race I was making good time (not as good as @Francis Picard but people were saying we would make cutoff). This hill was horrible and relentless. Not too much in the way of man eating vegetation, but slow going yes, and some bear crawling and alpine hiking. It took the rest of what energy I had left. Made it to the top finally and gave out for a short rest. At this point I was questioning my sanity. But the ladies at top said we had a nice downhill to the prison. So over the top to MethLab Hill. Again. Horrible. Severe downhill on a rocky, washed out trail with several areas of buttsliding due to the grade. At one point near the bottom I wanted to just lay in the dirt, but realized I had stopped in a swarm of yellow jackets....luckily I got up quick enough and moved on before they lit me up. Jogged and walked it to the prison to the next Aid stop. All the volunteers were great but the kids here were really nice. I found a tree with some shade and took my pack off and layed in the grass for about 10 minutes. Mentally and physically I was done. Couldn't even think about what was ahead. There is a bus parked here called the Bus of Disgrace that will carry you back to your car if you wanna quit. I thought about how nice that would be to go get a steak sandwich and a coke. But the word disgrace might as well have been in neon paint. I could hear Laz laughing at me. I could see the GroupMe shaping up..."at least you tried." So I got off my ass and went through the prison, over the wall, helped down by the infamous Jarod Campbell. Made it through the tunnel and out the other side to the bottom of Big Rat. I couldn't believe what I was looking at...the slope...the vegetation....the agony that was in front of me. WTF was I thinking? How far back was that bus?

The Rat Jaw was 10x worse than Testicle. Maybe 100. I showed up to the base of it with gas tank on E. There was a cardboard sign at the bottom that read "Firetower 0.89 miles." I thought, ok at least its not as long as Testicle. So up a shear cliff of dirt I went scrambling to grab any vegetation to help me up. 50ft up over the first cliff I layed in the briars. Exhausted. This hill became a combination hike, crawl, rest in the briars, crawl, rest in the shade on briars. Briars never felt so damn good. Part of the way up we came to a jeep road that cut across the path. There were rangers/medics there attending to the emotionally wounded. I stopped here to catch my breath. They said "congratulation you are almost halfway up." You gotta be F***ing kidding me was my response. Felt like I had been fighting this hill for more than an hour. What you don't see is that It ends straight up the hill, but then takes a 90 degree left turn and climbs higher to the tower. So back to the slog. Crawl, rest, hike. Repeat. I was doing this, leapfrogging the same 10-15 people and we all kept encouraging each other to go on. Finally at the top of the first long hill, climbed through a rock wall to the next part which flattened out a bit (hiking now not crawling), but with ease of incline came briar insanity. The last few hundred yards up this thing was rife with arm shredding madness. The guy in front of me was leaving a blood trail for us to follow lol. Finally got up to the top and up the fire tower, ending what was perhaps the hardest 2 to 2 1/2 hrs of my life (I should have kept track of the duration better here, but could have easily been 3 hrs). Ran down to the next Aid stop and topped off one more time. The next section was mostly downhill on Old North Mac Trail for about 4 miles. Legs felt good here and was able to pass quite a few people running and walking. I knew after Rat that the 50K finish and the cross were out for me, but was totally ok with that. At the end of Old Mac trail I made a right to the last Aid station where Laz was hanging out. He punched my bib and I thanked him. He said "Sorry you can't make a left turn and have more fun with us." I shook his hand and ran down the trail to the park road. There was another mile and half to the race site, where I made a right into the finisher chute.

Final time 10:40 (For reference @Francis Picard finished the 50K in 11:03...amazing).

After the race, I got a steak sandwich and a coke, then got to see Francis finish his 50K

Thoughts: Was it stupid to do this with no trail training? Yeah probably. Was it stupid to do this 6 days after IMWisc. Yes completely. Was I happy to have done it? Your darn tootin'. As many say on here and in GroupMe....YOLO. Live life to the fullest and don't pass up crazy opportunities. This certainly was one of those moments. It was awesome to hang with @Francis Picard I am really happy for him to do so well on the 50K. As I sit here writing this Sunday, my body has never been so sore head to toe. Most IM races I feel pretty well by Tuesday. I can tell this pain will be with me for at least a week. I had no stings of any sort, didn't get poison ivy (which was everywhere), didn't see any snakes, and was happy not to get lost. The briars, while bad on the two big hills didn't shred my legs, just my arms. Am I eager to sign up for this again just to get the 50k cross? No not really. I think I got the experience. And it is an experience I will never forget. I really enjoyed the camaraderie at the event, especially when everyone was being handed their lunch on the tough stuff. Thanks for reading. I look forward to Francis posting something from a faster perspective.

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Comments

  • Love it- great story. and Huge Congrats!!!

  • Friggin Epic!!! love that you did this on a whim and only 6 days after IMMoo - true Badassary at work here, congrats!

  • Much tougher than I @Jeff Horn I will continue to sit this one out! So Doc, Is it possible to contract something from other peoples blood in the briar patches?

  •  "At this point I was questioning my sanity."

    @Jeff Horn - What a great accomplishment! Wow! It is truly amazing what can get done when a strong minded/fit person is put into a damn tough situation!

    I knew that was going to hurt and you represented like a animal!

    Sincere congratulations!

  • Thanks @Patrick Large @scott dinhofer @tim cronk @Shaughn Simmons! Its funny how razor thin the line between badassery and dumbassery can be. As it sinks in and I review the pictures I realize how special this event was. @tim cronk the guy in front of our group kept yelling "fuck" every time a briar destroyed his arm. Some of the briars I went past looked like a seen out of predator. I suppose if I rubbed my open scratches against those soaked branches I could pick something up. Unlikely but not zero probability. Rather than curse during briar maulings, I channeled a little Jesse Ventura from predator ...


  • Great race report and congratulations on this huge accomplishment! I think one of the coolest things about this is how you had the confidence in your fitness to do this crazy race less than 7 days after an Ironman and even more so the mental toughness to push through the finish when tank was empty at the half way point. Much to be proud of, you have!

  • Awesome awesome @Jeff Horn!

    I liked your comment "After reading all the race reports that week, I was certain I would be stung, maimed, and probably lost and left for dead somewhere in Frozen Head state park." But yet you did it anyway . It was also great that the power of the group helped you continue! I loved the report!

  • I cant say it enough, but I am so proud of you and I am so honor that we now share a link that we both did our first BFC together and I am sure we will get back there again together and you will get your croix.


    Being able to pull out a marathon (and its not even close to a normal marathon) so close after an IM was balsy and push you out of your comfort zone and thats the reason why we are doing this sport, I believe we all need to go out of that zone and not be scare to fail, cuz if we cant fail, why do it ?

    you can rest now =)

  • @Jeff Horn no truer words have ever been spoken

    "Its funny how razor thin the line between badassery and dumbassery can be."

    And the Jesse meme is gold.

  • Absolutely awesome job.  Love reading these race reports.

  • @Jeff Horn ... echoing what you've read here and in GroupMe ... just to have the courage and confidence to attempt this ... given basically no prior notice, and 6 days after IM ... and then to COMPLETE a 10-hour "test of will" ... speaks volumes about your mindset and fitness level!

    YOLO Indeed ... very well done brotha!

  • I love it -- using your fitness to do epic shit!

    How much route finding is involved? The impression I got from the Netflix documentary and podcasts from the full Barkley is that is one of the biggest challenges. You mentioned trail markings above.

  • edited September 19, 2018 2:11PM

    @Gabe Peterson there was not too much difficulty finding my way, especially after studying maps the night before with @Francis Picard . Most of the first 10 miles, last 4 miles and couple places between were sections of frozen head park marked trails, and part of the Cumberland trail. At major intersections (decisions) there were arrows pointing you in right direction. Francis can probably attest to the last part of the 50k up to Chimney top...I think there were more big boulders to go around and refind trail.

  • So cool @Jeff Horn thanks for the report. Ill see you soon! #IMCHOO

  • Dang @Jeff Horn you are one badass MoFo... watch out or @scott dinhofer might start referring to the absolutely ridiculous things people try to do inside da Haus as #StupidHornTricks! Seriously, we're not worthy brotha! I'm in awe!!!

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