mental resilience: help on neutralizing swim scrum 'trauma'
I had a bad swim experience at about 2' into a race yesterday - essentially leading to a panic attack, waving my swim cap in the air, and hanging off a lifeguard boat at just few minutes into a race. Any thoughts about specific mental strategies to employ to help come back from 'trauma?' I'm most interested in what to do - specific, cognitive steps - to minimize the possibility that this recent experience doesn't impact my peace of mind at future races. (I'm actually an experienced swimmer with a lot of OW mass starts, and the swim has always been a non-event in my races.) What I want to ensure is what used to be a stress-free part of the race doesn't suddenly emerge as a stressor and eat up mental energy leading up to, and including the race in the future.
I'm looking for input on concrete mental approaches that people might employ, say, after coming back to riding following a bad bike crash or other similar situations ... so not so much execution tips like 'try to swim on the outside' or 'seed conservatively.' Dunno what the menu is here ... Desensitiziation tricks? Jumping back in to a mass start this weekend to turn the tables on this one? Electroshock?
Any input?
For background, from a message i sent to a friend :
Comments
Dave, I'd avoid the electroshock
You're definitely smart to ask the question. Panic/anxiety is a funny, unpredictable thing. The worst thing you can have happen is a constant worrying about "will this happen again?", because then it becomes almost a self-fulfilling prophesy.
Best advice I can give is to sit down somewhere quiet, close your eyes, and put yourself back in that pack. Feel the stroke of the water, the jostling for position, the kicks/punches/etc, and try to see the moment where the reaction came from. Ask the question "what was different this time, versus all the other great swims I've had in this sport?"
You may be able to answer the question, and if so, you've got something concrete to point to in order to say "aha, that's why, and I'm back in control." This is probably the less likely situation, but it happens. If so, take great confidence that you've got the situation under control in the future.
More likely, you won't identify a trigger, and that's OK. Because, by probing your recollection of the situation, you will identify the feelings you had in the moments leading up to the attack. Learning what that feels like, and embracing the fact that it's normal and OK is a big part of avoiding future attacks. Play that situation in your head, understand when your heart starts to pound, and develop a mantra to help reassure yourself that it's going to be OK. Could be "deep breath and glide..." or "two breaststrokes, and back on track", whatever makes you start to feel that sensation go away. Pre-race visualization is key, so that you know ahead of time how you'll handle it if it does come up during the race.
Good luck, and keep us posted!
Mike
Anytime I get kicked, punched swam over etc, I mentally say, this person isn't trying to drown me he/she is just trying to finish their swim. They are most likely a hell of a lot more scared than me and that is why they are swimming this way. I then try not to repeat doing what they just did and try to steer clear of others, good swim karma works wonders.
Hope that helps, relax you're fine you're not going to drown
You must have a lot of previous positive OW and mass start swim experiences which went well. Return to those in your memory, try to re-create the sensation and feeling. Next, plan a strategy to have in your "hip pocket" for use if this ever happens again. A recent poster (I forget who, sorry) noted that he will swim laterally underwater for 10-20 feet to get out of the scrum. Or plan to swim on the buoy line and prepare to move to the INSIDE of the line of panic happens. Whatever works for you, Just have a concrete, pre-thought out and maybe even practiced strategy ready to use.
Those two steps - remember when things went well, review those feelings and memories over and over; and have a specific plan for what to do as soon as panic sets in a again - along with proper self-seeding should carry the day for you.
When I get all worked up during a race (being angry, frustrated, nervous, frightened), I find that focusing on concrete, completely unemotional simple tasks helps me get over it. In the case of a bad swim, I first concentrate on slowing my breathing down---as in counting my breaths, making sure I breath deeply from my abdomen. Then I look at the next buoy and concentrate on my form---purely simple stuff like "Elbows high, reach with fingers, turn with hips..." Counting strokes helps too. I typically have a whole list of swim form cues that I will use to help me concentrate on the task at hand which is to get through the swim.
As for what to do if it happens again, I use a mantra "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming" (yes that's from "Finding Nemo" and yes, it's how I got my name) and I do what Dan does- maintain good swim Karma as best as I can. I tell myself that the other person isn't trying to hurt me, like me, they are just trying to survive.
Finally- after having DNFed twice from tri's because of the Swim, I finally learned that there is no harm in taking just a few seconds to hang onto a Kayak (as long as no forward progression is made) to recollect my thoughts and get my head on strait. Those few seconds to just hit the "reset button" in my head can do wonders.
Your goal in practicing visualization is to remove the emotion from the situation. You WILL get smacked around. This is a certainty. Will it hurt? Probably. Will you get upset about the fact that it hurt? No.
In your visualization exercises, you might want to imagine yourself as a sports announcer narrating the events: "Dave just took a nasty kick to the goggles. The guy next to him looks like he's really struggling to maintain a straight line. This is going to cause Dave some problems if he doesn't get out of that guy's way." No emotion, just stating the facts. Then you can be in charge of the rest of the narrative: "Dave has now found a good line and has picked up speed. His stroke looks smooth and he's sighting well." It's a way to practice the detachment you need to cultivate to stay sane in rough water.
Good luck!
I agree with Suzanne on the visualization. Lately, every time I'm swimming and get a little freaked out about anything, I've started to think "excellent. I get to practice how I will respond to freaking out in the water on race day." Hopefully, on race day, if there is freaking out, I'll get to think about how all the practice paid off!
maybe just try to focus on how ridiculous it is that you and 2400 of your new closest friends paid 600 a year in advance for a chance to try to swim while only being able to paw neoprene for a few hundred yards. In kinda sorta seriousness I find the only thing to do during a swim is to try and relax and wait for it to be over. Have to try really hard to resist the urge to go anaerobic for the first 200 yards. It is really hard to do. Kinda like trying to swing easy at a golf ball ["swing easy, swing easy, only thought is swing easy, swing easy" - BAM and for some reason you swing so hard you almost fall down]. Once you get out of breath from going zero to redline in 40 seconds it makes it really easy to have anxiety set in. As always, smooth is fast.
No one every believes me but I think mass start IM swims are some of the least rough. Once you sort that clawing at neoprene and not really moving thing out the way for a couple hundred and actually start swimming...at that point you can't catch anyone who is faster than you and anyone slower than you can't catch you. You are not going to run over and be run over people in other waves ever. There will be people all around you but they should all be going the same speed. Only issue arises at the first turn when all those people who are swimming wide to avoid the scrum now have to cut the corner as short as possible cause race day brain has started to take over and they are no longer willing to sacrifice any time. For that you just have to push your way through and out of it. It is a skill I developed by busting through very crowded bars and the NYC transit system.
LOVE this idea Suzanne!! Totally takes the emotion out of it and makes the whole thing much more objective. I've kinda done this by mentally scripting my race report "Here's what I'll say about this part of the race- how rediculous is this moment!", but I like your idea a lot better.
When I am alone in open water, I will on occasion think about what to do if something happens and I can not swim- bad cramp, panic attack, whatever. I then actually will take a few moments to practice the response (we have buoys on the lake for other reasons). I have had anxiety in OWS, but it has been related to motor boats. Definitely get out there without the scrum, work on visualization, and give yourself time.
All that and you still secured an IMC spot- Awesome!
Second, eleven responses and not one "HTFU!" Again, thanks for treating my melodrama with respect. Had I posted on, say, another tri board with a less productive vibe, this would have devolved to insults and discussion of race wheels by the third post. So, thanks for being cool about this.
Dave
PS
I've come across a few good and easily-consumed articles while grokking this; for future reference (or for posting in the wiki under "after your crash,") see:
Zauderer: Recovering from Crashes, Part 1 http://www.pezcyclingnews.com/?pg=fullstory&id=6502&status=True
Zauderer: Recovery from Crashes, Part 2 http://www.pezcyclingnews.com/?pg=fullstory&id=6684
NY Times: Psychologists @ NY Tri Prerace http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/23/sports/othersports/23triathlon.html?_r=1
If it makes you feel any better, I've probably had about 3 panic attacks over the last few years and just had the onset of one just this past weekend at the Desert Half. First one in about 4 years. I think once you've had one then any subsequent one gets easier to deal with. I just tell myself that I'm going to be fine and to keep swimming. It will go away. Just keep swimming (slowly). I tell myself that over and over again until I finally get my rhythm back. I often have really good swims following a slight panic attack because I'm so happy to overcome it.
Thanks, Chris