My 12 y.o. is showing an interest in fitness, body comp, etc. Suggestions for me as I guide him...
Disclaimer: The only thing that matters to me is that my children are happy, healthy, and have an unwavering love for themselves. And that they are kind to all people, No questions, NO exceptions!
That being said my son has a semi-recent interest in fitness and body comp. He is 12 y.o. and a tad on the chubby side. Nothing major or unhealthy, but enough to be a tad self-conscience in his pubescent years. He enjoys biking with me (72km last Saturday - he's strong as shit) and plays futbal (soccer).
During our ride last weekend we talked about very basic things like calories in vs. calories out. In his case there's a lot of low hanging fruit (no pun intended) that we can look at, i.e. for dessert a small bowl of ice cream, not a bowl that would feed a small village or maybe the appropriate amount of cheese on your pasta, not the entire wheel.
Has anyone been through this before with their children? What are the pitfalls? What do I need to steer clear of? Any and all suggestions are welcome.
TIA
Comments
Three kids, all with different levels of interest in sports, fitness, etc. Each showed their own personality from the start. E.g., they all were introduced to skiing very early and often, as that's what we do. My son is the only one who has kept it up as an adult. My youngest was very into sports from age 1 - never a ball or bike or anything she didn't want to try. She's still a runner. The middle daughter has very little interest in any of that, despite going through all the same things the other two did. My conclusion: let them see what you do, and if they ask for more, provide it. But don't force it.
OTOH, I remember my own experience. At about that age (11-12) my father did two things which significantly affect my life in sports. One Christmas, I got a weight lifting set. That same year, in the summer, they bribed me with a transistor radio (that era's iPhone) if I joined a swimming team. Both stuck with me for the rest of my life. Then when I was 18, they built a retirement home in Colorado at a ski area. That also profoundly changed my life. I think, though, you never know what will stick and what won't. Just do what you do, and help them follow if they want to.
I like the idea of talking about food as fuel for living and sport. Maybe finding some articles that talk about that and I am sure there is some info out there about how many servings of the different food groups is consider suitable for a child his age. @Sheila Leard can you direct Patrick in the right direction.
I think that is a good start. Give him the info and then have a discussion on what he changes he thinks he could make. That is giving him not only the education but the power. Telling never work. Educating and then having the discussion about what he took away from the read is IMO the best practice.
@Patrick Large - Awesome for your son, and thanks for asking for advice. As a pretty chubby 12-year-old, there was zero connection between who I am. But definitely staying active and being involved in sports was a huge part of it. It wasn't until later in life that I realize just how important sport had become to my identity.
I think the fact that you were including him in your training sessions is awesome. Remember, he will learn a ton just by watching what you do and sometimes that's way more important than what you say.
He will draw his own lessons on the benefits of what it means to be active and see the differences in his body. I think your main job is just to support him and be your normal positive self while you Get your role model on.
Neither one of my parents were athletes, but they supported all my stuff.
~ Coach P
Thanks all for the suggestions thus far-
@Brenda Ross at this point "and I am sure there is some info out there about how many servings of the different food groups is consider suitable for a child his age." is what I want to avoid. To me it doesn't matter. Like I said there is a lot of low hanging fruit that will yield bigger results than worrying if he got enough protein, carbs, etc.
He is growing boy and to a point, I want him to eat a lot, but just of higher quality foods.
Mike Boyle is a well known strength and conditioning coach here in Massachusetts. I believe he is also pretty well known throughout the country. In listening to a video conference with him, he talked about his teenage kids, what consistency will do for them over the course of a 4 year high school career, and quantified it in a way that really changed my thinking. He said something like:
So in regards to your son, I think keeping him consistently engaged in activities he likes, trying new activities that he may like, and doing several things each week will begin to change his overall athleticism. Also encourage him to do what he can on his own when he has downtime, but you aren't available.
In terms of diet, I think that's part of my job as a parent- what is in the house for food, how it's allowed to be eaten, etc. With my teenage son who could eat anything at anytime I often have to say- "You need to have some fruit before you have ______" or "Stop being a carb hog and put some protein in that". I often find he's more lazy in wanting something fast (grab and go) vs making something. If he makes something it tends to be more healthy.
@Patrick Large your son is at the age where he is noticing other kids changing shapes, growing muscle or growing into height at slower rates.He's going to listen to you until his peers start to sound smarter :-) The tactic you want to do here is NEVER talk about body shape or pudge. Kids don't really have a concept of calories. They are more inclined to think of food as good or bad. This is where you come in. Talking about food as 'good for you' will get the glaze over look. Talk about WHY you're eating a particular food. Such as:
If your son watches sports or has an athlete he looks up to talk about "I wonder what they eat to perform so good'. Hopefully he doesn't follow the NFl because those guys are food machines.
When they chose to eat something that you know is not in their best interest, try to stay silent. Then later if there is a window to say something ask 'did that pile of french fries and coke make you feel weird? or when he eats a bunch of sugar, ask 'did you get constipated after that? 🤢 Then drop it. Plant seeds. I know it sounds funny but you need to talk their language.
I thought my daughter would never grow out of Mac n Cheese. Now she is a pro at cooking tofu and bok choy and eats with chopsticks.
When it comes to desserts, portion control is a handy way to take the pressure off. Buy ice-cream on a stick vs a carton. Keep it positive. Who does the cooking? Get him involved.
You're a good Dad! 🤗
@Sheila Leard I mean to respond to this a week ago but have had some issues logging in. You make so many great points here and you seemed to be seeing exactly where I am coming from.
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your son is at the age where he is noticing other kids changing shapes, growing muscle or growing into height at slower rates. This is the exact situation. I think it all started with, "dad how do I get a "six pack""
The tactic you want to do here is NEVER talk about body shape or pudge. we do jokingly, but I know that will sink in deep, so I need to stop
All the below is so spot on, thank you. What about a super picky eater? We are JUST getting into smoothies (all real food in a blender)
If your son watches sports or has an athlete he looks up to talk about "I wonder what they eat to perform so good'. We watch futbal (your soccer) and cycling. good conversation topics
When they chose to eat something that you know is not in their best interest, try to stay silent. Then later if there is a window to say something ask 'did that pile of french fries and coke make you feel weird? or when he eats a bunch of sugar, ask 'did you get constipated after that? 🤢 Then drop it. Plant seeds. I know it sounds funny but you need to talk their language. very true on this one, he is on the toilet A LOT later in the day and after dinner
I thought my daughter would never grow out of Mac n Cheese. Now she is a pro at cooking tofu and bok choy and eats with chopsticks.
Buy ice-cream on a stick vs a carton. this is what we do
Keep it positive. Who does the cooking? Get him involved. we need to do this more
You're a good Dad! 🤗 very kind, I'm doing my best
Have you ever thought about veggies come from the dirt? How cool is that? This is super funny to me. We are part of a greenhouse coop and we harvest crops weekly... it's pretty amazing. But often when we go to harvest my wife and I look at each other and say "no clue XYZ grew that way". This was from our last harvest.
Beets, pulled from the ground.
Celery pulled from the ground. I had no clue this was how they grew.
Some kind of lettuce.