God Has a Funny Sense Of Humor. Or, The Gratitude Thread
Woke up this morning in a piss poor mood. Tucker and I chatted on Google+ Huddle for a bit and I was whining about having "to do" this training. I was just not into it. Not enjoying the training at all. In short, my attitude sucked.
Went out on my ride this morning and debated turning right and simply riding to the local coffee shop and chilling or turning left and heading out for my 75' session.
I am not a heavily religious guy, but I do "believe." As I was pedaling I said a quick prayer and asked for some guidance/help. Mentally I haven't been into IM training. I then turned right and headed to the coffe shop. Resigned to a lack luster day.
Here is where it gets weird for me. . . . .
- I pull up to the coffee shop and a buddy of mine hops out of his car with a soft boot on his right leg. He got a stress fracture and his marathoning season is done. He told me he wishes he could run cuz he hates not have the ability to do so right now.
- I go into the coffee shop and the president of our local tri club is working at one of the tables and his left knee is all bandaged up. He just had his 3rd menicus surgery and his running career is over. He has done like 5 IM's and run several marathons. But now his running days are over. Period. He looks at me and says, "I wish I were you. I would give anything to do a ride and a T-run on this beautiful day." Humbling to say the least.
- I then start to think about JT and his recent crash and thinking of what he has to go through over the next bunch of months.
All I have to say is God sure has a way of getting my attention. After 10' at that coffee shop I got on my bike and had a new sense of wonder. That I "get to" do this training. I don't "have to."
I did the 75' bike and T-run but with a new pair of glasses. Looking around, checking out the scenery and enjoy the moment.
I can safely say that today I am grateful for my fitness, health and vitality. Sometimes I just need to get slapped in the proverbial face to be able to see it and appreciate it.
That's it. Thanks for listening.
Comments
I would encourage you to pray daily for perspective...it is amazing the things that we see when we have proper perspective!
Thanks for sharing! I will keep you in MY prayers as well.
Thanks for this, John. I've been struggling with this every day for a year, and I think your message here may finally have woken me up.
For the last year, I've been mad, angry, and upset. Mad that, on the day I was in the greatest shape of my life, I ran into a truck and ended in the ICU - I wasn't mad about being injured, I was mad about not being able to get on a plane for Hawaii and race. Then I was mad about losing 15 # in the hospital, and all of my fitness, and all the injuries I had to repair. Getting back to where I had been was just going to take so much time and effort, it didn't seem fair! I was mad I didn't have enought time to get ready for IM CDA, mad and upset I couldn't swim as fast as I used to, and really upset when I just didn't seem to have any motivation to go fast in that race.
I kept getting upset (and confused) when people would ask me, wasn't I glad just to be alive, just to be able to be running and biking again, and glad I was simply able to compete at what I (used to) love. That concept - being grateful for what I had, instead of being mad about what I felt I'd lost - just wasn't computing for me.
I've only made one New Year's resolution in my life - on Jan 1, 1999, I resolved to start running and do a sprint triathlon at the end of June. You can see where that got me. So today, as I start my own personal New Year (my accident was on Sept 18, 2010) I resolve to enjoy myself and my fitness again, and will put away the sense of loss, and and replace it with a sense of wonder at what I *can* do. Improve from where I am, and stop trying to replicate what I used to be.
I am so glad God spoke to you. He will do it in the way that is most effective and really wake you up. This new set of glasses you are wearing are priceless and truly shows of God's grace and mercy. You will have a renewed vigor towards your training for Arizona and that joy will resonate in all you do and all you come in contact with. I could not be happier for you.
From your friend and a BELIEVER !!
Carrie
I am with Al on being Mad and Frustrated (glad he is over it) with a lot of things and really think that someone is playing a very cruel joke on me this year. I can say without doubt this has been the hardest year of my life, I keep trying to find the silver lining and when I think I am just about there something else happens. If god is testing me then please make him stop!
I usually always find the positive in things but sometimes it gets hard, I am not completley out yet but the bank is low.
It is nice to read that other people are turning a corner and it gives me hope.
Steve
Al- your knowledge, experience, and willingness to share has been immensely helpful to so many of us. Just a note of one thing you didn't lose that day
@Al, your comment concerning ". . . and will put away the sense of loss, and and replace it with a sense of wonder at what I *can* do. " hits home to me as I have also experienced a major injury resulting in the loss of all fitness a while back and am also getting older, where my PRs, going forward, tend to be in my rear view mirror.
Seth Godin just released a new book, which while is aimed at marketing folks, calls for all of us to embrace the weird. This tribe of endurance folks definitely qualifies as members of the weird to much of the rest of the world, and posts like this one that Mr. Stark started, truly allows me to appreciate my membership in such an interesting conglomerate.
“Someday you will not be able to do this. Today is not that day.”
While I can certainly tell you that breaking my collar bone and some ribs was not on my training plan and has shut the season down, I know it's not really that big a deal in the context of life. Sure, it's going to be painful for a bit, but it will pass and I'll get my form back and be able to train and race again. Guess I learned this lesson when I broke my neck a few years back....
It also taught me to be appreciative of what you have and can do and not to dwell on what you don't have or used to be able to do. That it's best to have an "Attitude of Gratitude" on what you can do, and more importantly, those you share your life with. To make sure you let those around you know how much it means that they are part of your life. I think this is one of the most important things at the end of the day - it's part of what makes life worth living.
@Al T - Great to hear you are not mad anymore. I'm not either, so lets keep having fun!
ok- enough on this - I think my pain meds are making me loopy..