In looking over my race log, this was my 7th Ironman that I have participated in and my 35th triathlon. In the six years that I have been doing this, I have only DNF’ed once and that was in Ironman Wisconsin in 2010, so the 2011 race was redemption for me. After last year’s DNF, I went through a period of darkness and self-reflection. It helped me realize that triathlon is not a validation of my self-worth and I do it because I love it and because it is fun (in a sadomasochistic way). This race exemplified that for me. I knew going into this race that it was going to be tough for me physically and mentally. I had such a fun race in Austria just a couple of months ago in July, and had probably one of the best races. I thought it would be too much to duplicate again. Plus the injuries I had as well as the overtraining meant I was not going to be on the start line in the best shape. I could have chosen to defer the race but I did not want to delay it any longer. I wanted to prove to myself that the DNF didn’t matter in the scheme of things and that I would finish.
I had a horrible swim and I was beat up right and left for the first 15 minutes. And for some reason my right arm started going numb halfway through the swim. I also kept thinking about those reports of snakes in the lake and I swore I saw things moving when I put my face in the water. But the swim is the price of admission to the main events (as my coaches keep saying) of the bike and the run. I kept telling myself that I won’t have to do it again (at least for nine months) if I just keep going. I got out of the water just under 1:30, a little disappointed that I was so slow but I was expecting it as I had only swam twice in the last 3 weeks.
I felt great for the first 20 miles of the bike then the negative voices in my head started. “I still had 92 miles to go and I hadn’t even started the hilly portion yet!”; “My longest ride since Austria was only 82 miles”; “I’m not in shape and weigh eight more pounds at registration than when I did the race last year” It was a never-ending litany of negative thoughts until I saw a sign that said something along the lines of “Bike for those who gave their lives so you can.” And then I saw this row of red plastic plates that were planted on sticks along the side of the bike course. The plates alternated between “Never Forget 9/11” to the xeroxed photos of the police and firefighters who gave their lives helping others on September 11th. Here I was whining and complaining to myself about a stupid bike ride that I chose to do, when here were the men and women who had made the ultimate sacrifice for others. I started tearing up and resolved right then and there not to give up. I was going to finish this race and this bike ride. I live in a country where I have freedom to choose and I chose to do this race so I was going to finish no matter how much pain I was in. Through the heat, dehydration and constant throbbing pain in my feet, I just kept thinking back to those red plastic plates. My spirits were also buoyed by the love and support from the EN crew - thank you, thank you for being out there till the bitter end of the bike.
I cramped at the dismount line off the bike and hobbled to the changing room. I walked for the first five minutes while working out the cramps. I started to run and was only managing about a 13 minute pace before the nausea hit. I started to walk again and would try the run-walk for the next few miles fighting the nausea. I then came across Molly from NYC. I don’t even remember how we started talking but she was not doing well and we started walking together. We chatted about triathlon, work and the conversation made the time go much quicker. She soon felt able to run again and I wished her well and sent her on her way. This entire time I was drinking mainly water and some cola but I was a little concerned as I hadn’t peed in about 7 hours and knew I couldn’t. This was despite drinking a bottle of water each hour on the bike. I was also getting the chills again and not sweating despite the heat. I started on the broth at each aid station and drank water at every stop. This strategy worked! After not peeing for about 12 hours I was able to finally go around mile 21 of the run.
I had started talking to Derek from Ohio somewhere around mile 14. He was not doing very well and I told him that we had plenty of time and let’s just focus on moving forward. This was his first Ironman and I told him that they’re all hard but the important thing to do was to focus on the one thing that would keep him going. I explained about the philosophy behind Endurance Nation and the 4 keys. My one thing was knowing that I would never have to see this bike course again once I finished.
I met his wife (Beth), son (Owen) and father along the way. Derek told them that I was a huge help in keeping him moving forward. It was heartwarming to see the enthusiasm and excitement in Owen’s face when we saw him. We talked about races and our triathlon plans for next year and we cheered our fellow racers, especially those who were still running. I kept telling Derek, we had a medal, t-shirt and hat waiting for us. As we neared the finish line, I told Derek that I wanted him to go ahead first and to run down the finish chute. Your first Ironman is such a special thing and I wanted him to have that moment alone in the sun. I made sure his bib number was readable and the hat was on straight and then sent him down the chute.
I was smiling and of course, happy to be done. But I was even happier that I helped a fellow racer across the finish line. I came to the realization that this was why I really love doing triathlons - the people I am fortunate enough to meet doing races. Finishing the race is an accomplishment but the true reward is the lessons learned along the way.
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THANK YOU for all the EN racers and supporters, especially those I was lucky enough to meet and break bread with. I've never gone to a race alone but I never really felt alone because of the EN family. Special hugs to Michelle for being there on the 2nd loop of the bike and at every point of the run and at the finish line - it was so great to see your smiling face! You deserve a medal for staying out there for so long!
Comments
Didn't know there were snakes in the swim. Glad I didn't have that info before the race.
Smitha and I really enjoyed meeting you-we both thought: What a cool lady and what an amazing job! Thanks for your service. Hope to see you again at an IM.
I'm going to be "on-hold" for the next 3 months but will be back in January.
Good luck to everybody who's still racing and training! Enjoy the recovery for those of us who are done! And happy holidays to all.
Joanna