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Help needed with an end of life situation

I need help from a social worker type person to talk offline about a newly diagnosed end of life situation in the family.  THANKS! 

 

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  • Rich I don't have the skills but I'm here to talk if you need someone! 617 513 3830
  • I'm willing to talk too if you think I might be of some assistance.

    Jay Lakamp, RN
    503-350-1492
  • Thanks Patrick,

    First CONGRATULATIONS on Kona!  I watched the vid recap. Glad the winds weren't too bad...I liked the statement "It is what it is"!!!

    I didn't reply to your reply until after your Kona race was completed. I wanted to let you focus on YOUR race with out bringing you down. Thank you for your offer to talk if I need to talk.  There are not many words that can be said when a loved one is going through "end of life" stages, especially when they are "young".   I can't tell you how important it is to remember our spouses that support us while pursuing our triathlon endeavors.   Hug them and hug them often! 

    My wife has been battling uterine cancer for over a year-and-a-half.  Even though she has gone through 2 surgeries, chemo, radiation and drug therapy, the cancer has invaded her neck, chest, stomach and liver.  She is now heavily medicated to eleviate the pain and sleeps almost around the clock.  The doctors say 6 months, but she is deteriorating very quickly.  



    The only thing I can say is tell your loved ones you love them in addition to hugging your wife and kids and hugging them often. 

    Blessings

    Rich M

     

  • Rich

    My wife is a Nurse Practitioner in an oncology clinic (has worked with kids and with adults) and it is a tough go for many of the people that come into the clinic. In fact, the ring bearer in our wedding, 5 years ago, passed about 2 years ago and it was difficult for us and he was not even a family member (at least not by blood).

    Our sympathies and regrets go out to you both at this time, and we will keep you in prayer.
  • Rich - So sorry to hear the news - Cancer really sucks and can be so devastating. While I have no expertise in this area, and guessing you've already been here, but may want to check with the folks at LiveStrong. They do have lots of different cancer related resources. I'll give my kids a hug tonight and wishing you and your familiy All The Best....
  • Rich - so sorry to hear about your wife and what your family is going through. As an oncology nurse, I know the nurses from hospice have a wealth of knowledge and are wonderful to work with. I hope you have been able to utilize them. Please let me know if I can help you or if you would like to talk. Send me a PM.

    Mary
  •  Hey Rich - This is a really tough situation to be in and I am sorry. I lost my first wife to cancer in a similar situation, where we ultimatly knew it was coming after treatment had failed,  and know your situation way to well. If you want to talk to someone who has been there before you can give me a call. 214-536-9771 or email danielhimel@gmail.com

    -Dan

     

  • Rich - sorry to hear about your wife. Nothing to say other than we'll you and your family in our prayers.
  • Rich- Very sorry to hear about your wife. You and your family are in my thoughts.
  • Rich, So sorry to hear about your wife. You are your family are in our thoughts and prayers.
  • Rich - I am sorry about your wife. I know it is horribly painful and stressful to go through something like this. I lost my first wife to cancer. If you need any help, please feel free to reach out. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.
  • Rich, I've been holding back on any response because this is so big. I'm very sorry that you, your wife, the family, and your friends have to go through this. I pray that you do cherish every moment that you have, and that you have had, with each other. I hope that you do have a place to go to to talk with others who have been through this. Trust in the Lord, His picture is big and our plans are small.

    Chris
  • Rich, my brother went through something similar a few months ago. His spouse passed away in July at 42 years old after losing the cancer battle. The doctors said six months and it ended up being only two weeks. The hospice service was absolutely invaluable to my brother. He couldn't have got through it like he did without their help.
  • Rich,

    So sorry to hear this. I am a cancer doc (brain tumor surgeon). I work with our hospice and palliative care services extensively. Do you have access to those services? They do great job, but sometimes getting access to their resources can be needlessly complex.
  • Rich,
    I am very sorry to hear this about your wife. I work in ICU's as a respiratory therapist and am often called "the guy who pulls the plug". I just lost a good friend to cancer last week, and helped his wife through some hard times. Give me a call if you need someone to chat with, or to answer questions. 319 533 5979
    I am running a 5K this weekend for the American Cancer Society, I raised over $1100 with the help of EN, so If you do not mind, I would like to add your wifes name to my "in honor of" list.
    I will keep you and your wife in my prayers.
  • Rich, I am compelled to write after reading all of the posts from various EN team members. I don't know you, or any of the other ENers personally, but suffice it to say, you have another extended family here. The reality is, our loved ones and families are what is MOST important in life...not V02, LT, FTP, TSS, HMP, Z4, blah blah, blah...
    Please know that many of us are thinking of you and your family at this time and will be praying for health care professionals with guiding hands, comfort for your wife and peace for you and your family.

    Annie
  • So sorry to hear this Rich. My thoughts are with you and I'm available to talk offline if you'd care. +1 on the hospice/palliative care services. PM me if you need to chat.

    Jeff

  • Rich, I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. I have a parent who is now in hospice care and even though she is very elderly and has lived a long a fruitful life it is still very painful. I can't imagine having my spouse who I consider young going through something like this. My prayers are with you and your family.
    Jennifer
  • Rich, I'm just reading this now. I'm so very sorry to hear the news and I hope that you and your wife can find some good support and comfort.
  • Rich, just found this after getting back online. Thanks for sharing with us; hopefully the response has shown how much we care about you and your wife, and that you can find some comfort in the power of the human spirit in your tough time. I lost my dad to cancer in '07, and spent 24/7 time with him in his final stages. I am still here to talk, whatever state you are in. Your wife is in our thoughts and prayers.
  • Thank You All for your support, prayers and kind words!  Here is a picture of my angel!    

    Her full name: Cecile Marie Sylvie Lavoie Hamilton-Miller (Wife, Mother of our Son, Daughter and the love of my life!).  I have been blest to have her as my sweetheart and my love.  May all of you experience the heartfelt love that Sylvia and I had the opportunity to experience.  Prayers for my mother-in-law who is having a very difficult time seeing her daughter this way.  I not only was blest with a wonderful wife, but also a great mother-in-law (and from the stories I hear, this is rare!).

    Rich M. 

     

     

     

  • Obviously a beautiful lady Rich and sorry to hear about your situation. My mother is also fighting three varying degrees of cancer at within different organs so I can sympathise with you somewhat. I wish you and your family all the best!
  • Rich- Your wife is as beautiful outside as you describe her inside. You are a good and loving husband. My heart breaks for the both of you. You are in my thoughts.
  • Rich, We will keep both of you and your mother-in-law in our thoughts and prayers.
  • RIP Cecile Marie Sylvie Lavoie Miller 12/1/1960 - 10/23/2011
  • Oh Rich, I'm so sorry. Will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
  • Rich, I am so sorry to hear this. I am sure she has gone to a better place. Our thoughts and prayers for you and your family (including your mother in law - it is always the hardest to lose a child.)
  • Rich--I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you are doing as well as possible.
  • So sorry Rich. Take care of yourself.
  • Rich- As no one can really understand Your circumstances and know what you and your family is going through, we can be here for you to lean on, talk to, and anything else in between. I know all too well as I've lost many family members the same way and know am fighting off the same disease myself. One day at a time, and although nothing will replace, time will heal eventually. Always here if you need an ear.
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