We used to have a "Hall of Fame" section for great reports. It's time to get it started again! Tears still rolling down my face from laughing so hard. Very, very, funny. Please post this to a blog or something. I would love to pass this around to other non EN friends!
@ Tom - when I first read it, I was wondering what Bart did for a living ... I was thinking maybe he was an author. This is really too good for a blog; he ought to submit it to Inside Triathlon or Lava Magazine for publication!
@ Bart - I hated the swim at IMCDA and was hoping you would say IMTX was definitively better. I don't mind swimming in close quarters the entire way, but I'm not interested in a constant battle for air.
"... I guess now is not the time to mention that I biked past such a beautiful pair of Rudy Project glasses that I momentarily debated getting off my bike and snagging them..."
A fabulous report indeed! This ^^^^^^^^ in particular brought it even more full circle to me, if that's possible.
A-MAZ-ING!! Seriously, sorry you had the trials and tribulations that you did, but way to turn it around and put the things you cant control in your box and toss it away! It takes a real man to rock chick sunglasses in an Ironman lol!
One hour well spent (that is how long it took me to read this report - did not want to miss any of it). Husband has been bugging me for days to read your report Bart. Lots of laughs and I agree, you are one good looking dude. All your pics are great and your smile is infectious. Congratulations on a well executed race.
3 = number of times I had to get up and use the bathroom 16 = ounces of water I drank while reading it (hence the previous situation) 1 = number of turkey sandwiches consumed 20 = how many minutes I delayed my staff meeting to finish reading this; no joke 2 = number of Kleenex's I used to prevent my mascara from running down my face from tears of laughter 35 = Overall finish time
I'm planning to recover the next few days by not reading anything. I'll try to log back into the Dashboard by Wednesday if my eyes aren't feeling sluggish. :-)
Honestly, thanks for the great read and for helping shine a little perspective on this crazy hobby we've all invited into our lives.
BART STEVENS, YOU ARE A (F*&$ING HILARIOUS) IRONMAN!!!!
Bart, that's quite a report - coming from the long-winded myself. Pretty epic day, heck WEEK, you had! Well done!
I learned long ago to write my number with permanent marker on my transition bags, for those exact situations. Glad it didn't harm you materially to lose the number.
As everyone else has said - fantastic report!! Thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to not only write it, but to make it such an enjoyable read!! You do realize, of course, that you have set the bar pretty high for your next RR!
Oh - and major congrats on overcoming your struggles and making it to the finish! Well done!
Seriously, get this published by a mag...write a book. I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me. You are my hero, and you are right, you did rock,those glasses. Cost of our triathlon addictioin: thousands of $. This race report: priceless. :-)
I LOVED this RR Too many gems and nuggets to quote just one. Talented writer indeed, but what stands out most is your attitude. Balance is key and you have a great head on your shoulders. Congratulations on an epic journey and race. First IM coming up for me in Lake Placid shortly...packing a Sharpee and spare pair of sunglasses. Mirrored of course!
phew - what a few days - I'm exhausted - not sure whether from the long read or the wonderful story. And to think your tri-journey is still very young. So much more to experience and write about. Congrats!
BTW, I had a spare pair of glasses in my Special Needs Bike Bag which I would have gladly loaned to you but I think I like your 'found' pair much better.
Bart, it's such a reality check when you go thru something like that.
Remember when you were rushing to the computer to sign up, and pay, for that race a year earlier? Before you hit 'Submit' there should be a warning that says "Hey, this might not go as you plan'' !
Bart, like everyone else has said I laughed my ass off reading your race report! Way to make the best out of unexpected events! I only hope to have an attitude and smile like yours at Madison! And I'll be sure to pack a sharpie and extra sunglasses too.
Great attitude! Great desire! Great report! One side of me hopes your next race is less ofan adventure; the other is looking for another great report. ;<)
What a great race report. So well written. I was just reading this while waiting for my son who is in a music lesson. I was laughing so loud that one instructor made a point of opening his door and giving me a look. A fellow mom looked at me like WTH. And, the administrator said, "you have to share that with me." she isn't a triathlete, but she loved what she read of your report (and she joined in the laugh fest.)
This was such a wonderful piece to read during my taper for my first IM. You have actually calmed me down a bit. Reading about all of your mishaps, and how you delt with them, is inspiring. Thanks for posting.
Congrats on finishing strong with that run. Bet the showdown with Ms Fancy Pants was fun to watch.
Everybody is so great, thank you for your wonderful comments. Best wishes to everybody in achieving their goals this season, especially to our Racine racers this weekend and our IMLP, IMMoo and IMC participants after that. And thanks for RnP for your influence on this awesome lifestyle!
I am totally piling on now, but what a great read. Such determination to just get there and then compete. Since RandP tweeted it, I have shared with all my social networks. Forget the triathlon part, it is just a good short story in world that has made everything bullet points and single page sound bites.
My favorite quote, and there are many, has got to be "I thought about just going home and starting to drink heavily and just seeing how the weekend unfolds". Such a great voice in your writting. Your got skillz!
My wife couldn't understand why I was near-hyperventilating, tears rolling down my face, and only looked more quizzically when I told her it was an IM race report. Then I read her the sunglasses option D...
Needless to say, we both spent the better part of the morning laughing our asses off! Thanks!
Bart - get it published - it's that good! Congrats on your race - and I do remember that swim start...but could never describe it as well as you...thanks for your report!
Comments
@ Bart - I hated the swim at IMCDA and was hoping you would say IMTX was definitively better. I don't mind swimming in close quarters the entire way, but I'm not interested in a constant battle for air.
A fabulous report indeed! This ^^^^^^^^ in particular brought it even more full circle to me, if that's possible.
What the hell else is there for me to say????
My RR from reading Bart's RR:
3 = number of times I had to get up and use the bathroom
16 = ounces of water I drank while reading it (hence the previous situation)
1 = number of turkey sandwiches consumed
20 = how many minutes I delayed my staff meeting to finish reading this; no joke
2 = number of Kleenex's I used to prevent my mascara from running down my face from tears of laughter
35 = Overall finish time
I'm planning to recover the next few days by not reading anything. I'll try to log back into the Dashboard by Wednesday if my eyes aren't feeling sluggish. :-)
Honestly, thanks for the great read and for helping shine a little perspective on this crazy hobby we've all invited into our lives.
BART STEVENS, YOU ARE A (F*&$ING HILARIOUS) IRONMAN!!!!
I learned long ago to write my number with permanent marker on my transition bags, for those exact situations. Glad it didn't harm you materially to lose the number.
Oh - and major congrats on overcoming your struggles and making it to the finish! Well done!
I don't know what you do for a living, but you should consider moving to LA and becoming a screen writer.
Great photos! Great race report! Great attitude!
BTW, I had a spare pair of glasses in my Special Needs Bike Bag which I would have gladly loaned to you but I think I like your 'found' pair much better.
Joanna
Remember when you were rushing to the computer to sign up, and pay, for that race a year earlier? Before you hit 'Submit' there should be a warning that says "Hey, this might not go as you plan'' !
You're a SuperHero! Great Race Report!
Bart, like everyone else has said I laughed my ass off reading your race report!
Way to make the best out of unexpected events! I only hope to have an attitude and smile like yours at Madison! And I'll be sure to pack a sharpie and extra sunglasses too.
Awesome job!!
This was such a wonderful piece to read during my taper for my first IM. You have actually calmed me down a bit. Reading about all of your mishaps, and how you delt with them, is inspiring. Thanks for posting.
Congrats on finishing strong with that run. Bet the showdown with Ms Fancy Pants was fun to watch.
My favorite quote, and there are many, has got to be "I thought about just going home and starting to drink heavily and just seeing how the weekend unfolds". Such a great voice in your writting. Your got skillz!
Needless to say, we both spent the better part of the morning laughing our asses off! Thanks!
Fantastic write up... thanks for sharing.