what a great thread/forum this is... I'm so inspired by everyone! and so thankful that everyone has been so open and honest... every day I'm more and more glad I signed up on EN - I love my "normal" friends (and of course love my family), but no one seems to get me. It seems like here at EN we've all gone through the same stuff/had the same questions and issues - re: balancing life, work, training, etc. It's nice to finally fit in with a group of women, which is something I've always strugged with being a type A+++ OCD type (with a Myers Briggs of ENTJ)!
@ Tracy (I think)... Dan does have a brother who runs (not sure about biking and swimming, but I suspect so), but he's married. . Dan and I met through a running club I started running with in Oct 08. That was about the time I finally started getting comfortable with who I was/what I wanted and signed up and got active in things I enjoyed (instead of doing things I thought might lead to dates)... although still a solo-phobe, I went to the club not knowing anyone... and about a year in, at a running group party (I went to alone - which is huge for me) Dan and I met. I had crashed on my bike a few weeks before and was telling a few fellow triathletes about it, Dan overheard and joined the conversation. Unbeknownst to me he was interested... he never let me know ... according to him he knew he'd see me the next week since we were both volunteering at a race (our running group ran the finish line water stop). He saw me there and followed me to the water table I picked to work . While we were chatting, he asked if I wanted to go biking some time... so, he got my number. Instead of calling me to set up a biking trip, he called me to ask me to dinner. We had dinner on Wed. Went biking on Sunday... and the rest is history. What's most interesting (to me, at least) is maybe 2 weeks before that I finally worked up the nerve to tell a guy who's been hot and cold with me for 2 years (whom I adore), that if he wasn't going to step up he needed to leave me alone. Hmm... maybe that's what I needed to do along - get rid of the dead weight to finally be ready to meet someone good for me who would bend over backwards to see me/spend time with me... not only the other way around. I was definitely living every bad example in "He's Just Not That Into You," making excuses, making myself [too] available, calling, practically begging for attention... Crazy how a smart, assertive, successful woman can act like a total idiot with zippo self esteem... I've still got a way to go... but I'm getting there. I don't know if Dan is the ONE, but I'm finally in a grown-up relationship and having fun being me. And, he seems to accept me for who I am. If only I could deal with my body image issues... that's also a work in progress...
-oh, and Marianne - great pics, what a gorgeous family. And, poor, poor Rudy! that cone is just so sad!
As we were talking about at work last week- You will find the "perfect" partner when you become the "perfect" partner. It's impossible. For years I dated men that I thought I could fix. Then my BFF told me to "find a man with the flaws you can live with". When I did that, life became much easier. Of course he had a previous wife to break him in, but she could not stand his flaws, and to me they are nothing compared to what I used to deal with. That same BFF loves my DH but rolls her eyes and says she could never put up with him. I feel the same about her husband. He is a sweetheart and treats her like gold, but I know I would nag him to death about his smoking. To each his/ her own.
@Michele - that is really good advice - I will remember that.
My younger brother (while going through a very ugly divorce less than 1 year after getting married) told me this, which stuck: it's better to be single than to wish you were. Hmmm... it's all about perspective.
I can always count on you ladies to be having an interesting discussion in here It is interesting to hear the different perspectives of all of you kids vs no kids. It is a discussion that has been floating around my house for awhile since we (wife 31 and me 29) have more 'biological' time left, I'm sure it will continue to circulate. It always seems to come down to 'there will never be a perfect time'. How do you really know if you are ready or even want kids? I'm sure it will all work itself out in time. And honestly I am too focused on IM this summer to worry too much about that until after July 25th.
On the training note, just starting real IM training today. At least what I feel to be real IM training. Back in the pool, forgot how $$$ this pool is. Used to work at this pool, was there the day it opened, but no discount for me Anyway feeling exciting about getting serious about training. Starting a new job next month, yes again and planning for another move after the summer but now time to focus on training!! The beautiful weather is definitely fueling my excitement.
I once heard this "there is no good time for funerals or babies" ====== there is no convenient 9 mos of life to be PG or any good time of year to have one... it will mess you up!! but if you can don't be PG in the heat of the summer, like I seemed to do!! big and PG and HOT = yuck. smile. on the other hand if you deliver at the end of spring?? then you are way big to fit in a swimsuit for the summer, so not good either, did that too!! I kind of think January would be a good time, never did that month,, then you have layers of clothing and all winter to shed baby weight... smile. m
If you guys haven't checked it out, Leigh's latest self massage installment is up (IT Band- a good one!) http://pinnaclept.wordpress.com/category/self-muscle-massage-series/ You ladies never cease to amaze me with all the talented folks we have here in EN! Leigh's series is really good and easy to follow.
Had a long epic type of weekend - Fri- 3000 swim, 66 miles bike, Sat- 10 mile run race, Sun- Recovery bike- 30 miles. Weather was in the 70's + here. Fri and Sun were incredible weather wise- beautiful, sunny and I even dusted off the ole tri bike and took her out Sun. I got both road & tri bikes fitted 2 wks ago and outside of a minor tweak on the bars- much better! Now just gotta work on the engine!!
Can't possibly comment on everyone's stuff but am reading as I go. Super busy at work! Suffice to say, we've all taken long journeys to get to where we are today. I love the strength that each of you continue to show in walking that path- wrong and right turns! Have a great day! Off to an excel seminar... bleck... feel free to have interesting chatter to keep me awake.....
"interesting chatter" okay we got a WII as PT told my DH that the balance exercises were pretty good on the WII and suggested it for him/ear/vertigo. so we got one and Easter we all played on it and last night, I got to WII. hilarious.... all I have to say! I checked out the Balance exercises and I rate unbalanced. but one yoga pose and I was deemed a yoga trainer!! can't wait to Wii again and check out the other stuff!!! I had to make a little icon for MII and that right there is fun too. great party game!! the fitness has strength, yoga, balance, aerobics and something else. it also tells you your BMI, WII age, weight and tracks your personal goals and calories expended.!! the antics of the little people while waiting on their "times" or race results is hilarious!! and the "soccer heading" balance game was hilarious as I dodged soccer cleats being thrown at me while heading soccer balls!.. sound effects too. right now, neither DH or I could go downhill skiing as we ran over many of the WII flags!!
going to plant some annuals: zinnias in front beds.... I have been very tired recently, napped the last 3 days and frankly pretty tired of being tired.... no bike MOJO either. gonna see how it plays out this week and then if still tired... some sort of doc visit to check on blood, thryoid. thisis the fatigue that I liken to first trimester of PG... just knock you down I gotta lay down tired. factors: pollen, gardening, stress, time of month, medical?, dunno. This happens to be me every month so as I look ahead to IM training, gonna try to match up recovery weeks to this. Yeah I know somebody could say I was a middle aged perimenopausal woman with five kids trying to train for an Ironman and then I might bop them on the head!! I can see the funny side of it actually, "well see Doc, I am having to take a nap every day although I seem to be getting 8 hours of sleep, well actually my right arm tendonitis is waking me up many times in the night and then I have those children who I take care of and worry about.... and oh my dog has been sick and I thought he might not make it, meanwhile, I have been trying to get my run mojo back but my piriformis has flared up too....I have been doing some gardening which I haven't done since last year, throwing bags of mulch around and bending over planting! that and oh the housework as I had company last weekend. The pollen is making my car and everything else yellow. I seemed to be hungry and allowed myself to eat a whole chocolate bunny so then I had to purchase another one for the kid! and yes I am what you would describe as perimenopausal, middle aged, and yes I take synthroid and normally my iron is on the low side of normal...." "now why do you think I am tired, doc?" " could you just give me a steroid shot in my hip and my arm and test my blood one more time "
I have googled fatigue and OH so much better now!! (NOT!)
"In our experience, women with mild to moderate adrenal fatigue can see significant improvement through these simple steps:
Enrich your nutrition, reduce carbohydrates, and cut back on stimulants. For detailed advice and explanation, see our article on eating to support the adrenals.
Consider nutritional supplements that support adrenal function. Start with a high-quality multivitamin–mineral complex rich in stress vitamins, minerals, and essential fatty acids. To learn how select herbs help restore adrenal balance, see our article on phytotherapy for adrenal health.
Reduce stress, including moderate exercise and taking more time for yourself. It’s helpful to make a list of your stressors, especially those that are ongoing or self-imposed.
Get more rest. Your body needs time to heal!
*Notes to me: March my nutrition got off with two "vacations" and Easter.....yep I drink coffee in the a.m. and sit here with more. haven't been taking a multi vitamin.....
well thanks for the venting, I feel so much better after reviewing several online articles. and I bet some of you right now are going thru some fatigue and so I shared the links with you! I hope you have a great day!!!.... m
Hi ladies, I've been mainly lurking. As always, so many interesting discussions!
Becky, Dan sounds wonderful. Could you clone him for my sister, please? She's a hot athletic neurologist and can't find a good man to date, let alone marry.
Kids - uh, no. Luckily Tabitha and I feel the same about that. I can't wait to have little nieces or nephews I can spoil (see, all this is dependent upon aforementioned sister finding a man), but T and I enjoy our lives the way they are right now way too much to have kids. We have 5 furry children that soak up all that love we have to give!
I started swimming for the first time this season on Sunday, and also went yesterday, and am getting ready to go today. No time like the present, considering I have a half IM in 3 weeks.
Hi, I've been underwater for the past several weeks preparing (and executing) a big work meeting so I've just been lurking. And then you had to go and start a new thread, so now I'm missing everything!
Lots of baby talk, I see. I'm at a point in my life where everyone is pregnant. (Lots of lesbian babies too, which is so great!) At a very single 31 I'm so not there though I have always and still usually picture myself a mother someday. Although I am extremely curious about pregnancy and think I would love to experience it, it's probably not in the cards for me. The meds I take for my RA would have to stop, which means I'd almost definitely exit remission. Going back into remission after delivery is not a guarantee...it's a big risk. Luckily, after growing up in a household with two adopted siblings I can't quite identify with the very-common desire to have my OWN child because I've seen all the different ways to create family.
Speaking of marriage and kids, I've been connecting with lots of you via Facebook and realized that Carly and Dana and I are the same age and probably competed against each other in high school (if either of you did swimming or outdoor track). I guess I assumed being married and/or having kids meant you guys were, like, waaaaaaay older than me. I still feel like the youngest kid in the room!
In other news, I've been nursing an ankle injury/issue that has kept me from really running lately. PT says the strength is there but it's a proprioception issue, which I interpret to mean that my reflexes are a bit off and my ankle isn't compensating at it should. My inner ankle is doing more work than it should and it's been very bitchy as a result. Lots of balancing exercises and *sigh* more lunges and squats. I bought Superfeet insoles and switched from Sauconys to Asics because the Asics hug my feet a little better. So, we're working on it. Things are looking good so far: I ran 3-4 miles twice last week, 5 on Sunday, and 7ish today. Today felt the best, with very little pain - it helped that I paid attention to every footfall and tried to prevent the ankle from rotating too far inward and recruiting those inner muscles. PT and I are going to try taping the foot on Thursday to see if that helps even more. Cross your fingers!
Also, I'm just soooo excited to get outdoors. I bought a headlamp to wear on dark early a.m. runs and wore it for the first time today even though I knew I'd only need it for 15 minutes. Like a kid at Christmas! Love it!
I started swimming for the first time this season on Sunday, and also went yesterday, and am getting ready to go today. No time like the present, considering I have a half IM in 3 weeks.
You go girl! The swim is just a warm up for the butt-kicking you're going to do out on the Seawall!
Swimming! Yeah. That's the easy part before the real race starts, right? (I'm back in the pool Friday.)
31 must be the baby-attracting age. Everyone. EVERYONE at work is having babies. We were starting to wonder if they were putting something in the water.
Hm. I just got back from a date. 1) There are many cute, nice boys in Chicago; 2) Maybe I'll just date my tri bike for a while.
I have a white board in the pain cave now. So much fun! It has a calendar. I had underestimated my joy of crossing things off. The extra workout motivation of being able to put a big "x" through something is really satisfying.
Hi Ladies! I've been lurking and reading, but not really time to post and keep up. yeah for Headlamps and running in the dark, and dating Tri bikes, and power swimming in prep for half IM! I slept though my alarm this a.m. and didn't do my 2nd day of IM workout. Too tired at night tonight, so I guess I bagged a 45 min. run Kids at school are off the charts crazy since spring break! YIKES! 8 weeks before any break again...A fight in the freshman cafeteria today, and trying to track down info. about who did what. ARGH! Breaking my no alcohol rule tonight, and having a rum and coke! Waiting for interview phone calls from applications I've put out...still waiting... Hope eveyone has a fabulous Wednesday tomorrow!!!! Keep up the mojo ladies!
yes Beth was cryptic.. but if you just want to date your tri bike, well doesn't sound good AND at your fav burger place. !! off the net as I go to mothers to divide up her perennials and bring some home. I have gaps everywhere in my mulch, which DH loves but i don't so while he is away,,,.... smile.. voila, plants! using the excuse that the dog had dug up holes and I filled them up with flowers!! ha ha. he likes order... so I buy odd numbers of plants, better for "decorating" and get 3 or 5 of same plant for that big color show! so right now with nice weather I have been gardening, and what a good workout. right Gina??? digging, lifting, bending... and OH I did a hour of WII yoga, very good I thought, granted I don't own any DVDs of training but I thought it was good and it could tell if I was wiggling and would give me tips on lengthening my spine. okay scooting. supposed to run this morning and I have allowed time for a short one but yesterdays bikeride of one hour at beach cruisers speed wore me out. but then I got clipped 1.4 hours last night, son came home from soccer game and he texted me, my cheek/jaw might be broke!! so I got up with ice pack and ALEVE and noted that another son was not actually home, so texted him and I note that I did drift to sleep when I heard his car pull in.
@Kristen - Dan is an engineer (from a family of them), I'll see what he can do about cloning himself - actually, his dad would likely be the one to talk to, he worked for USDA working on seeds, etc... so Dan is super picky about produce bc apparently the garden his folks had when he grew up was super amazing since his dad essentially engineered the perfect seeds... and then he had two braniac sons (coincidence?)- (Dan's brother is an engineer who now works for Calaway golf designing super aerodynamic golf balls, seriously... what a cool job! And I love your IMFL logo, how can I do that? It's almost as fun as the cowgirl... which I aspire to someday.
@Beth - I can honestly say I never considered dating my tri bike (but I guess I have always considered my bikes, like my cars, boys...) but I did figure my cats (who are boys) would be it for the men in my life.
@Suzanne - glad you've figured out the problem and are working your way back! Take care, hope we can catch up soon! Miss ya! Oh, and glad you got a new, super-sexy head lamp. It's about time I dust mine off, but I've totally lost my early am workout mojo... I guess 6 months off my normal routine does that. I tried to get up early yesterday to ride but I just couldn't do it (and did it after work).
sorry,,,, just so happy it worked - found a thread re: signatures with Beth's instructions (thanks) and happened to see that Kristen asked a questin about the float so all I had to do was copy and paste (changing my info)! yay!!!
Here is my once a week post. Hope everyone is getting a taste of Spring.
I have enjoyed everyone's thoughts/perspectives on children. They ALL are good. Su and I are seriously exploring the parenting choice. I am a bit slower to get on board, simply because of my age. However, I do think we would be good parents and what an experience it will be. One can only do so many IMs, right?
Like Marianne, I really enjoying gardening. Of late, I have leaned more toward vegetable gardening as you can eat what you sow! Nothing, nothing better than picking something fresh and eating it immediately. On top of that, I KNOW where it came from!!
Little ( or, not so little) Belle is growing, growing. She is close to 30# nows @ ; 4 months. I need to put some more pics up here. We had a small crisis yesterday when I dropped a heavy piece of lumber on her paw. Poor baby cried and cried. She seems alright this morning and back to her usual antics.
I am still rolling through my version of the OS in anticipation of starting IM training on the 26th. Finally am ditching the Ergomo in favor of a new PT. Just waiting to get it from Wheelbuilder.
Coffee is gone, back to work.
Everyone take care of your parts and your hearts!!
Hi All! - Glad to read and catch up Great pics as always M!
Litterally throwing things in a bag and trying to get the kids out the door to my Mom, pick up my Dad and it's off to Augusta!!! This is where I am hoping to dine tonight http://www.motorsupplycobistro.com/
Sorry no time to catch up w/ each of you individually, but glad to know everyone is doing relatively well. I hope you all have a great week and weekend of training or doing whatever is making you happy at the moment
Gardening. Isn't taking food straight from the garden and making it into your dinner the best?
Marianne -- Are you okay? That sounds like it hurt!
Date was, indeed, meh. It has friend potential. I had a running joke in grad school that I was dating my thesis (even funnier, because I wrote my thesis on Vegas wedding chapels), so maybe the tri bike can be my new thesis? And the turkey burger at DMK was amazing. AMAZING. It had lots of argula and garlic.
Suzanne: How's your ankle? Sounds like your on the mend. Sending healing vibes your way.
Olivia: How's your ankle? (that's it, ladies--careful with the ankle!) Hope it's just a taper niggle. Healing vibes going your way too.
Marianne: How is your jaw? You were clipped by a car while on the bike?! Hope you're doing okay.
Gina: I'm envious of not just your gardening...but of your enthusiasm and energy doing it. In my heart of hearts, I truly enjoy gardening of all kinds. However, in the last 4 years I've come up with every excuse possible to not do it: The deer will eat all the plants (this is true, but I can still plant daffodils and box wood)...The wild grapes choking all the trees provide food and shelter for critters. The truth is that I've let it all go for so long that just weeding is an overwhelming task. Must find some yardwork mojo.
Beth: I've not ever dated my tri-bike, but have had deep and meaningful relationships with my road and mtb bikes. Same with my cats. I have no doubt that there are hundreds (maybe thousands) of cute boys in Chicago (there are even a couple in Rochester, NY)...there's at least ONE out there who's gonna treat you like the most wonderful creature that you are! Until then Dash seems like a good companion.
Well, I'm finally done being sick! Mentally, I'd had it 2 days into the sniffles but physically, I'm back to being 100% from a respiratory standpoint. I've been out on the mtb twice last week. Not much plant life in the woods yet. The trails are dry and in good condition; and riding mtb is just so freaking fun. However, I must unleash my tri-bike from the trainer for some serious road time. Happy Wednesday!
sorry to alarm everybody!! I just read what I wrote and I forgot quotation marks How is your jaw? You were clipped by a car while on the bike?! Hope you're doing okay. from Kitima
** my goalie son texted me to say that his jaw and cheek had been hit by a soccer ball.... I got up at 12:30 p.m. after he got home real late, to get him ice pak and Aleve... this morning gave him more aleve and it looked normal, now he is taking a nap after school so I am hoping no doc visit! I AM OKAY! thank goodness... thanks for your concern. smile.
Oh man, Marianne, I am SO SO SO SO glad that your son is OK. Just reading that bit about broken jaw and teeth made me have serious sick feelings. The panic that I felt for him. ugh! Hope he's not in too much pain with what he did sustain with getting hit. Yeah. Still icky. Again, so glad there was nothing more there.
Here's what NOT to do three weeks before IM: Start a new job. I've been seeking a new opportunity in my company for about 1.5 years. Finally got something going and as luck would have it, my transition is NOW. The role has a lot of engagement with company leadership and with global team members and it just so happens that right now there are two major multi-day intense meetings going on with these folks that I have to go to. Don't get me wrong, these will be extremely helpful sessions to attend in terms of ramp up....just not so helpful from the POV of me getting my workouts in! The positive side of that is that I will get extra recovery time via some forced tapering....the negative is that my focus is seriously diverted at this point. Guess I have to go with the fact that the majority of the work is in the bag for IMSG and now my focus should be resting. Final RR this weekend so that should be a good measurement. Won't be able to do final 2.5 hour run tomorrow. May have to consider doing it Monday AM...or may not do it at all.
I let a college friend know today that I wouldn't likely be able to make it to her wedding in June because of all that's going on (including overseas travel the week of her wedding and a sprint tri that I'm registered for that weekend, but would be willing to skip if I REALLY wanted to). She wrote me back this email that basically said she didn't figure I'd make it anyway, and good luck with everything, she hopes I'm happy, and take care. I was actually quite offended by that. It isn't as if we're best friends right now or that we talk more than once/year, and I do have a lot going on, I have to make choices and this event just isn't at the top of my list, I feel like that should be OK. She obviously didn't. I feel like that's unfair at this point in our lives...am I off base. Now I feel horrible, and like I should try and make it work. What is it with that?
Ankle is better. Still a bit sore, but will ice tonight while watching my Mad Men DVD. I wonder if all of this was from a general tightness in that calf/lower leg/toes area all of which got worked last Friday in ART and massage...seem to be on the mend.
Time to get some dinner going.
Again M- I am really glad there wasn't a jaw/teeth injury that was more serious.
BTW - the only thing that makes me want to go to that wedding is the fact that it is in Chicago...so I could hang out with Beth. Seriously I have considered that... but then I might want to ditch the wedding altogether and let Beth show me the wining and dining in her fair city. Really that sounds like way more fun!
Olivia- it may not seem like it, but having something non-tri related might actually be a nice benefit for you right now. As you've probably heard, I moved the day after IMoo in '08 so the weeks leading up to the race were filled with lots of packing and planning for the move. Seemed kinda crazy at the time, but I actually appreciated the ability to have something ELSE to obsess about during the taper period! Oh- and congrats on the new job assignment!!
As for your friend. Cut her a little slack for the remarks. She's planning a wedding and probably all stressed out about all sorts of crap. So she may have let her emotions get the best of her when she responded to your message. I'd say just let it go- don't take it personally- move on. Before you know another year will have past and it will be time to reach out and say hello again. She'll probably be just fine at that point.
yep ditto on the job taking care of IM worries, you will be too busy to worry too much about the IM... and yep on the run, don't want to risk injury so just play it by ear, maybe just run the one hour if time allows.. just sayin'''//// yep on wedding stress.... for her right now that is her IM so to speak or her new job .... perhaps as you do feel some sort of feeling for this situation, a nice card or one of those funny ones and try again on evoking your out of country trip that week..... or another thoughtful gift for the bride. sometimes esp in writing, texts or emails, tone of voice or body language doesn't come across and words can be taken wrong or misconstrued.... I find for me personally? if I feel bad about something I did, I just apologize and clear the air .... take for example recent trip to Guatemala.... we were doing the play and "backstage" like on the dirt outside, people were talking and I without even really thinking said "shsssshhhh" and sure enough a gal said "yes, Teacher"... and so you can see both of us reacted and I just couldn't even bear the thought so after the play I just went up to her and told her I was sorry and that my HS drama kicked in and we were never allowed to talk backstage as not to distract from the production but I didn't mean anything harsh by it, then she also said she didn't either but could tell that I used to be a teacher... later on that week, we became much closer friends, she rode in "my truck" and now I am on her email list for monthly newsletter and she asked me to write May's!! I tell you that not to pat myself on the back, but just to say that there is nothing wrong in just calling her back up and telling her "hey, you know I might have come off wrong and I wasn't trying to minimize your big day at all but I just don't think I can make it for the wedding." "I am interested in seeing all the wonderful pics of the special day and thanks for the invitation." she either responds positively or negatively but you haven't lost a thing and in fact might get a better night's sleep knowing that you tried to fix things!!
okay just did WII strength tng and now off to bed as son (the goalie guy) home with his GF so I guess his jaw/cheek is feeling better!! smile. he kicked me off to WII tennis with her.... just as I was about to do a tricep extension!!!
Nemo: Great swim song! I'm gonna put it on my iPod.
Marianne: Whew is right! Reading that post, I thought: "Wow, she sounds so upbeat for someone who may have just fractured her jaw." Very thankful to hear you're okay.
Olivia: College friends' weddings are peculiar and sensitive things. My 3 dearest college friends all got married while I was in medical school and residency. I begged, borrowed, stole, sold my SOUL to make it to every single one of their weddings which were in GA, IN, and HI. Yes, Hawaii! I was living in NY. I know they appreciated me being there for those weddings. However, when it came time for my wedding none of them showed up. One lived in Switzerland (okay, I'll let that go). One had scheduled a birthday party for her kid on the same weekend (I never let that go). And my best friend had had first baby 7 weeks before---despite this, she bent over backwards to try and get childcare for her newborn (her loser husband wouldn't do it), then was making plans to bring the baby to the wedding. In the end, all those plans just didn't work and she couldn't come. I don't hold anything against her because she made an effort and most importantly said to me,"I want to make it because you came to mine." All this happened >10 years ago. I'm not even married to that man at that wedding anymore so I feel selfish being resentful of their nonattendance---especially of my friend with the birthday party. I think if she'd just said that she's sorry to miss it...I would've really let it go. So my long-winded point is: It's okay not to go and not WANT to go. However, communication of feeling sorry about missing it should smooth over any hurt feelings. If not, then what Nemo said---she's probably super stressed with wedding plans and may not be the most polite or thoughtful person right now.
Will second what Kit said re: the wedding stuff and college roomies. We lived in suites throughout my schooling and that meant 8 of us lived together for 6 years. We were all close and when it came time for weddings it was craziness and hard to navigate especially when it was 4 in one year. In the end we were never all present at any of the weddings but we tried (I missed 3 of the 8). Let her know you're thinking about her and the wedding and that'll go a loooooooong way in smoothing stuff over. Life is life. At the end of the day, everyone gets that. A sorry I missed it is way better than nothing.
One of the ones I missed was my best friends for which I was the maid of honor and then she last second changed the wedding to the day of IMFL in '08 (it was supposed to be the weekend before it). she changed it for family flying in from out of state who waited till the last second to book their flights. it was a big, relaxed/outdoor bbq type event so it was an easy swap and she was totally cool with it but I still felt horrible for missing the big day "for a race". Sooo...just made it my priority to make all of the other stuff leading up to it. We had a running joke that I was going to change my mind and crash the wedding. Obviously I didn't, but in a spoof, me and other girls had a cardboard cutout of me in my dress made (since I already had it) and brought it to the wedding so I could "be there" for the pre-ceremony festivities. (note: if you haven't guessed we're a pretty goofy group and not really the serious formal wedding crowd). Turned out to be a big hit and a few weeks later I got a whole album of pictures with "me and the family" in the mail. haha.
Comments
what a great thread/forum this is... I'm so inspired by everyone! and so thankful that everyone has been so open and honest... every day I'm more and more glad I signed up on EN - I love my "normal" friends (and of course love my family), but no one seems to get me. It seems like here at EN we've all gone through the same stuff/had the same questions and issues - re: balancing life, work, training, etc. It's nice to finally fit in with a group of women, which is something I've always strugged with being a type A+++ OCD type (with a Myers Briggs of ENTJ)!
@ Tracy (I think)... Dan does have a brother who runs (not sure about biking and swimming, but I suspect so), but he's married.
. Dan and I met through a running club I started running with in Oct 08. That was about the time I finally started getting comfortable with who I was/what I wanted and signed up and got active in things I enjoyed (instead of doing things I thought might lead to dates)... although still a solo-phobe, I went to the club not knowing anyone... and about a year in, at a running group party (I went to alone - which is huge for me) Dan and I met. I had crashed on my bike a few weeks before and was telling a few fellow triathletes about it, Dan overheard and joined the conversation. Unbeknownst to me he was interested... he never let me know ... according to him he knew he'd see me the next week since we were both volunteering at a race (our running group ran the finish line water stop). He saw me there and followed me to the water table I picked to work . While we were chatting, he asked if I wanted to go biking some time... so, he got my number. Instead of calling me to set up a biking trip, he called me to ask me to dinner. We had dinner on Wed. Went biking on Sunday... and the rest is history. What's most interesting (to me, at least) is maybe 2 weeks before that I finally worked up the nerve to tell a guy who's been hot and cold with me for 2 years (whom I adore), that if he wasn't going to step up he needed to leave me alone. Hmm... maybe that's what I needed to do along - get rid of the dead weight to finally be ready to meet someone good for me who would bend over backwards to see me/spend time with me... not only the other way around. I was definitely living every bad example in "He's Just Not That Into You," making excuses, making myself [too] available, calling, practically begging for attention... Crazy how a smart, assertive, successful woman can act like a total idiot with zippo self esteem... I've still got a way to go... but I'm getting there. I don't know if Dan is the ONE, but I'm finally in a grown-up relationship and having fun being me. And, he seems to accept me for who I am. If only I could deal with my body image issues... that's also a work in progress...
-oh, and Marianne - great pics, what a gorgeous family. And, poor, poor Rudy! that cone is just so sad!
As we were talking about at work last week- You will find the "perfect" partner when you become the "perfect" partner. It's impossible. For years I dated men that I thought I could fix. Then my BFF told me to "find a man with the flaws you can live with". When I did that, life became much easier. Of course he had a previous wife to break him in, but she could not stand his flaws, and to me they are nothing compared to what I used to deal with. That same BFF loves my DH but rolls her eyes and says she could never put up with him. I feel the same about her husband. He is a sweetheart and treats her like gold, but I know I would nag him to death about his smoking. To each his/ her own.
@Michele - that is really good advice - I will remember that.
My younger brother (while going through a very ugly divorce less than 1 year after getting married) told me this, which stuck: it's better to be single than to wish you were. Hmmm... it's all about perspective.
I can always count on you ladies to be having an interesting discussion in here
It is interesting to hear the different perspectives of all of you kids vs no kids. It is a discussion that has been floating around my house for awhile since we (wife 31 and me 29) have more 'biological' time left, I'm sure it will continue to circulate. It always seems to come down to 'there will never be a perfect time'. How do you really know if you are ready or even want kids? I'm sure it will all work itself out in time. And honestly I am too focused on IM this summer to worry too much about that until after July 25th.
On the training note, just starting real IM training today. At least what I feel to be real IM training. Back in the pool, forgot how $$$ this pool is. Used to work at this pool, was there the day it opened, but no discount for me
Anyway feeling exciting about getting serious about training. Starting a new job next month, yes again and planning for another move after the summer but now time to focus on training!! The beautiful weather is definitely fueling my excitement.
You ladies never cease to amaze me with all the talented folks we have here in EN! Leigh's series is really good and easy to follow.
Had a long epic type of weekend - Fri- 3000 swim, 66 miles bike, Sat- 10 mile run race, Sun- Recovery bike- 30 miles. Weather was in the 70's + here. Fri and Sun were incredible weather wise- beautiful, sunny and I even dusted off the ole tri bike and took her out Sun. I got both road & tri bikes fitted 2 wks ago and outside of a minor tweak on the bars- much better! Now just gotta work on the engine!!
Can't possibly comment on everyone's stuff but am reading as I go. Super busy at work! Suffice to say, we've all taken long journeys to get to where we are today. I love the strength that each of you continue to show in walking that path- wrong and right turns! Have a great day! Off to an excel seminar... bleck... feel free to have interesting chatter to keep me awake.....
"interesting chatter" okay we got a WII as PT told my DH that the balance exercises were pretty good on the WII and suggested it for him/ear/vertigo. so we got one and Easter we all played on it and last night, I got to WII. hilarious.... all I have to say! I checked out the Balance exercises and I rate unbalanced. but one yoga pose and I was deemed a yoga trainer!! can't wait to Wii again and check out the other stuff!!! I had to make a little icon for MII and that right there is fun too. great party game!! the fitness has strength, yoga, balance, aerobics and something else. it also tells you your BMI, WII age, weight and tracks your personal goals and calories expended.!! the antics of the little people while waiting on their "times" or race results is hilarious!! and the "soccer heading" balance game was hilarious as I dodged soccer cleats being thrown at me while heading soccer balls!.. sound effects too. right now, neither DH or I could go downhill skiing as we ran over many of the WII flags!!
I can see the funny side of it actually, "well see Doc, I am having to take a nap every day although I seem to be getting 8 hours of sleep, well actually my right arm tendonitis is waking me up many times in the night and then I have those children who I take care of and worry about.... and oh my dog has been sick and I thought he might not make it, meanwhile, I have been trying to get my run mojo back but my piriformis has flared up too....I have been doing some gardening which I haven't done since last year, throwing bags of mulch around and bending over planting! that and oh the housework as I had company last weekend. The pollen is making my car and everything else yellow. I seemed to be hungry and allowed myself to eat a whole chocolate bunny so then I had to purchase another one for the kid! and yes I am what you would describe as perimenopausal, middle aged, and yes I take synthroid and normally my iron is on the low side of normal...." "now why do you think I am tired, doc?" " could you just give me a steroid shot in my hip and my arm and test my blood one more time " 
going to plant some annuals: zinnias in front beds.... I have been very tired recently, napped the last 3 days and frankly pretty tired of being tired.... no bike MOJO either. gonna see how it plays out this week and then if still tired... some sort of doc visit to check on blood, thryoid. thisis the fatigue that I liken to first trimester of PG... just knock you down I gotta lay down tired. factors: pollen, gardening, stress, time of month, medical?, dunno. This happens to be me every month so as I look ahead to IM training, gonna try to match up recovery weeks to this. Yeah I know somebody could say I was a middle aged perimenopausal woman with five kids trying to train for an Ironman and then I might bop them on the head!!
I have googled fatigue and OH so much better now!! (NOT!)
http://fatiguehurtsyou.org/p_46597/Search_Results.html?ss=Fatigue
http://www.womentowomen.com/adrenalfatigue/effectsofhighcortisol.aspx?id=1&campaignno=fatigue&adgroup=ag9women&keywords=fatigue+in+women
"In our experience, women with mild to moderate adrenal fatigue can see significant improvement through these simple steps:
*Notes to me: March my nutrition got off with two "vacations" and Easter.....yep I drink coffee in the a.m. and sit here with more. haven't been taking a multi vitamin.....
http://www.naturalnews.com/026176_hormones_adrenal_fatigue_food.html
well thanks for the venting, I feel so much better after reviewing several online articles. and I bet some of you right now are going thru some fatigue and so I shared the links with you! I hope you have a great day!!!.... m
Hi ladies, I've been mainly lurking. As always, so many interesting discussions!
Becky, Dan sounds wonderful. Could you clone him for my sister, please? She's a hot athletic neurologist and can't find a good man to date, let alone marry.
Kids - uh, no. Luckily Tabitha and I feel the same about that. I can't wait to have little nieces or nephews I can spoil (see, all this is dependent upon aforementioned sister finding a man), but T and I enjoy our lives the way they are right now way too much to have kids. We have 5 furry children that soak up all that love we have to give!
I started swimming for the first time this season on Sunday, and also went yesterday, and am getting ready to go today. No time like the present, considering I have a half IM in 3 weeks.
Have a great day, ladies!
Lots of baby talk, I see. I'm at a point in my life where everyone is pregnant. (Lots of lesbian babies too, which is so great!) At a very single 31 I'm so not there though I have always and still usually picture myself a mother someday. Although I am extremely curious about pregnancy and think I would love to experience it, it's probably not in the cards for me. The meds I take for my RA would have to stop, which means I'd almost definitely exit remission. Going back into remission after delivery is not a guarantee...it's a big risk. Luckily, after growing up in a household with two adopted siblings I can't quite identify with the very-common desire to have my OWN child because I've seen all the different ways to create family.
Speaking of marriage and kids, I've been connecting with lots of you via Facebook and realized that Carly and Dana and I are the same age and probably competed against each other in high school (if either of you did swimming or outdoor track). I guess I assumed being married and/or having kids meant you guys were, like, waaaaaaay older than me. I still feel like the youngest kid in the room!
In other news, I've been nursing an ankle injury/issue that has kept me from really running lately. PT says the strength is there but it's a proprioception issue, which I interpret to mean that my reflexes are a bit off and my ankle isn't compensating at it should. My inner ankle is doing more work than it should and it's been very bitchy as a result. Lots of balancing exercises and *sigh* more lunges and squats. I bought Superfeet insoles and switched from Sauconys to Asics because the Asics hug my feet a little better. So, we're working on it. Things are looking good so far: I ran 3-4 miles twice last week, 5 on Sunday, and 7ish today. Today felt the best, with very little pain - it helped that I paid attention to every footfall and tried to prevent the ankle from rotating too far inward and recruiting those inner muscles. PT and I are going to try taping the foot on Thursday to see if that helps even more. Cross your fingers!
Also, I'm just soooo excited to get outdoors. I bought a headlamp to wear on dark early a.m. runs and wore it for the first time today even though I knew I'd only need it for 15 minutes. Like a kid at Christmas! Love it!
Swimming! Yeah. That's the easy part before the real race starts, right? (I'm back in the pool Friday.)
31 must be the baby-attracting age. Everyone. EVERYONE at work is having babies. We were starting to wonder if they were putting something in the water.
Hm. I just got back from a date. 1) There are many cute, nice boys in Chicago; 2) Maybe I'll just date my tri bike for a while.
I have a white board in the pain cave now. So much fun! It has a calendar. I had underestimated my joy of crossing things off. The extra workout motivation of being able to put a big "x" through something is really satisfying.
Beth- Sooo, did it not go that well if you want to date your tri bike for a while? Was the food good, I mean being a foodie and all
Hope eveyone has a fabulous Wednesday tomorrow!!!! Keep up the mojo ladies!
Beth- I LOVE checklists because the satisfaction of marking a big X is just so wonderful!
@Kristen - Dan is an engineer (from a family of them), I'll see what he can do about cloning himself
- actually, his dad would likely be the one to talk to, he worked for USDA working on seeds, etc... so Dan is super picky about produce bc apparently the garden his folks had when he grew up was super amazing since his dad essentially engineered the perfect seeds... and then he had two braniac sons (coincidence?)- (Dan's brother is an engineer who now works for Calaway golf designing super aerodynamic golf balls, seriously... what a cool job! And I love your IMFL logo, how can I do that? It's almost as fun as the cowgirl... which I aspire to someday. 
@Beth - I can honestly say I never considered dating my tri bike (but I guess I have always considered my bikes, like my cars, boys...) but I did figure my cats (who are boys) would be it for the men in my life.
@Suzanne - glad you've figured out the problem and are working your way back! Take care, hope we can catch up soon! Miss ya! Oh, and glad you got a new, super-sexy head lamp. It's about time I dust mine off, but I've totally lost my early am workout mojo... I guess 6 months off my normal routine does that. I tried to get up early yesterday to ride but I just couldn't do it (and did it after work).
Hello everyone-
Here is my once a week post. Hope everyone is getting a taste of Spring.
I have enjoyed everyone's thoughts/perspectives on children. They ALL are good. Su and I are seriously exploring the parenting choice. I am a bit slower to get on board, simply because of my age. However, I do think we would be good parents and what an experience it will be. One can only do so many IMs, right?
Like Marianne, I really enjoying gardening. Of late, I have leaned more toward vegetable gardening as you can eat what you sow! Nothing, nothing better than picking something fresh and eating it immediately. On top of that, I KNOW where it came from!!
Little ( or, not so little) Belle is growing, growing. She is close to 30# nows @ ; 4 months. I need to put some more pics up here. We had a small crisis yesterday when I dropped a heavy piece of lumber on her paw. Poor baby cried and cried. She seems alright this morning and back to her usual antics.
I am still rolling through my version of the OS in anticipation of starting IM training on the 26th. Finally am ditching the Ergomo in favor of a new PT. Just waiting to get it from Wheelbuilder.
Coffee is gone, back to work.
Everyone take care of your parts and your hearts!!
G
Hi All! - Glad to read and catch up
Litterally throwing things in a bag and trying to get the kids out the door to my Mom, pick up my Dad and it's off to Augusta!!! This is where I am hoping to dine tonight
http://www.motorsupplycobistro.com/
Sorry no time to catch up w/ each of you individually, but glad to know everyone is doing relatively well. I hope you all have a great week and weekend of training or doing whatever is making you happy at the moment
Gardening. Isn't taking food straight from the garden and making it into your dinner the best?
Marianne -- Are you okay? That sounds like it hurt!
Date was, indeed, meh. It has friend potential. I had a running joke in grad school that I was dating my thesis (even funnier, because I wrote my thesis on Vegas wedding chapels), so maybe the tri bike can be my new thesis?
And the turkey burger at DMK was amazing. AMAZING. It had lots of argula and garlic.
Suzanne: How's your ankle? Sounds like your on the mend. Sending healing vibes your way.
Olivia: How's your ankle? (that's it, ladies--careful with the ankle!
Marianne: How is your jaw? You were clipped by a car while on the bike?! Hope you're doing okay.
Gina: I'm envious of not just your gardening...but of your enthusiasm and energy doing it. In my heart of hearts, I truly enjoy gardening of all kinds. However, in the last 4 years I've come up with every excuse possible to not do it: The deer will eat all the plants (this is true, but I can still plant daffodils and box wood)...The wild grapes choking all the trees provide food and shelter for critters. The truth is that I've let it all go for so long that just weeding is an overwhelming task. Must find some yardwork mojo.
Beth: I've not ever dated my tri-bike, but have had deep and meaningful relationships with my road and mtb bikes. Same with my cats. I have no doubt that there are hundreds (maybe thousands) of cute boys in Chicago (there are even a couple in Rochester, NY)...there's at least ONE out there who's gonna treat you like the most wonderful creature that you are! Until then Dash seems like a good companion.
Well, I'm finally done being sick! Mentally, I'd had it 2 days into the sniffles but physically, I'm back to being 100% from a respiratory standpoint. I've been out on the mtb twice last week. Not much plant life in the woods yet. The trails are dry and in good condition; and riding mtb is just so freaking fun. However, I must unleash my tri-bike from the trainer for some serious road time.
Happy Wednesday!
How is your jaw? You were clipped by a car while on the bike?! Hope you're doing okay. from Kitima
**
my goalie son texted me to say that his jaw and cheek had been hit by a soccer ball.... I got up at 12:30 p.m. after he got home real late, to get him ice pak and Aleve... this morning gave him more aleve and it looked normal, now he is taking a nap after school so I am hoping no doc visit! I AM OKAY! thank goodness... thanks for your concern. smile.
Here's what NOT to do three weeks before IM: Start a new job. I've been seeking a new opportunity in my company for about 1.5 years. Finally got something going and as luck would have it, my transition is NOW. The role has a lot of engagement with company leadership and with global team members and it just so happens that right now there are two major multi-day intense meetings going on with these folks that I have to go to. Don't get me wrong, these will be extremely helpful sessions to attend in terms of ramp up....just not so helpful from the POV of me getting my workouts in! The positive side of that is that I will get extra recovery time via some forced tapering....the negative is that my focus is seriously diverted at this point. Guess I have to go with the fact that the majority of the work is in the bag for IMSG and now my focus should be resting. Final RR this weekend so that should be a good measurement. Won't be able to do final 2.5 hour run tomorrow. May have to consider doing it Monday AM...or may not do it at all.
I let a college friend know today that I wouldn't likely be able to make it to her wedding in June because of all that's going on (including overseas travel the week of her wedding and a sprint tri that I'm registered for that weekend, but would be willing to skip if I REALLY wanted to). She wrote me back this email that basically said she didn't figure I'd make it anyway, and good luck with everything, she hopes I'm happy, and take care. I was actually quite offended by that. It isn't as if we're best friends right now or that we talk more than once/year, and I do have a lot going on, I have to make choices and this event just isn't at the top of my list, I feel like that should be OK. She obviously didn't. I feel like that's unfair at this point in our lives...am I off base. Now I feel horrible, and like I should try and make it work. What is it with that?
Ankle is better. Still a bit sore, but will ice tonight while watching my Mad Men DVD. I wonder if all of this was from a general tightness in that calf/lower leg/toes area all of which got worked last Friday in ART and massage...seem to be on the mend.
Time to get some dinner going.
Again M- I am really glad there wasn't a jaw/teeth injury that was more serious.
Olivia- it may not seem like it, but having something non-tri related might actually be a nice benefit for you right now. As you've probably heard, I moved the day after IMoo in '08 so the weeks leading up to the race were filled with lots of packing and planning for the move. Seemed kinda crazy at the time, but I actually appreciated the ability to have something ELSE to obsess about during the taper period! Oh- and congrats on the new job assignment!!
As for your friend. Cut her a little slack for the remarks. She's planning a wedding and probably all stressed out about all sorts of crap. So she may have let her emotions get the best of her when she responded to your message. I'd say just let it go- don't take it personally- move on. Before you know another year will have past and it will be time to reach out and say hello again. She'll probably be just fine at that point.
yep on wedding stress.... for her right now that is her IM so to speak or her new job .... perhaps as you do feel some sort of feeling for this situation, a nice card or one of those funny ones and try again on evoking your out of country trip that week..... or another thoughtful gift for the bride. sometimes esp in writing, texts or emails, tone of voice or body language doesn't come across and words can be taken wrong or misconstrued.... I find for me personally? if I feel bad about something I did, I just apologize and clear the air .... take for example recent trip to Guatemala.... we were doing the play and "backstage" like on the dirt outside, people were talking and I without even really thinking said "shsssshhhh" and sure enough a gal said "yes, Teacher"... and so you can see both of us reacted and I just couldn't even bear the thought so after the play I just went up to her and told her I was sorry and that my HS drama kicked in and we were never allowed to talk backstage as not to distract from the production but I didn't mean anything harsh by it, then she also said she didn't either but could tell that I used to be a teacher... later on that week, we became much closer friends, she rode in "my truck" and now I am on her email list for monthly newsletter and she asked me to write May's!! I tell you that not to pat myself on the back, but just to say that there is nothing wrong in just calling her back up and telling her "hey, you know I might have come off wrong and I wasn't trying to minimize your big day at all but I just don't think I can make it for the wedding." "I am interested in seeing all the wonderful pics of the special day and thanks for the invitation." she either responds positively or negatively but you haven't lost a thing and in fact might get a better night's sleep knowing that you tried to fix things!!
okay just did WII strength tng and now off to bed as son (the goalie guy) home with his GF so I guess his jaw/cheek is feeling better!! smile. he kicked me off to WII tennis with her.... just as I was about to do a tricep extension!!!
Just dropping in to share my new favorite swimming Mojo Song. This one goes on the ipod for the drive to the pool!
Marianne: Whew is right! Reading that post, I thought: "Wow, she sounds so upbeat for someone who may have just fractured her jaw." Very thankful to hear you're okay.
Olivia: College friends' weddings are peculiar and sensitive things. My 3 dearest college friends all got married while I was in medical school and residency. I begged, borrowed, stole, sold my SOUL to make it to every single one of their weddings which were in GA, IN, and HI. Yes, Hawaii! I was living in NY. I know they appreciated me being there for those weddings. However, when it came time for my wedding none of them showed up. One lived in Switzerland (okay, I'll let that go). One had scheduled a birthday party for her kid on the same weekend (I never let that go). And my best friend had had first baby 7 weeks before---despite this, she bent over backwards to try and get childcare for her newborn (her loser husband wouldn't do it), then was making plans to bring the baby to the wedding. In the end, all those plans just didn't work and she couldn't come. I don't hold anything against her because she made an effort and most importantly said to me,"I want to make it because you came to mine." All this happened >10 years ago. I'm not even married to that man at that wedding anymore so I feel selfish being resentful of their nonattendance---especially of my friend with the birthday party. I think if she'd just said that she's sorry to miss it...I would've really let it go.
So my long-winded point is: It's okay not to go and not WANT to go. However, communication of feeling sorry about missing it should smooth over any hurt feelings. If not, then what Nemo said---she's probably super stressed with wedding plans and may not be the most polite or thoughtful person right now.
Will second what Kit said re: the wedding stuff and college roomies. We lived in suites throughout my schooling and that meant 8 of us lived together for 6 years. We were all close and when it came time for weddings it was craziness and hard to navigate especially when it was 4 in one year. In the end we were never all present at any of the weddings but we tried (I missed 3 of the 8). Let her know you're thinking about her and the wedding and that'll go a loooooooong way in smoothing stuff over. Life is life. At the end of the day, everyone gets that. A sorry I missed it is way better than nothing.
One of the ones I missed was my best friends for which I was the maid of honor and then she last second changed the wedding to the day of IMFL in '08 (it was supposed to be the weekend before it). she changed it for family flying in from out of state who waited till the last second to book their flights. it was a big, relaxed/outdoor bbq type event so it was an easy swap and she was totally cool with it but I still felt horrible for missing the big day "for a race". Sooo...just made it my priority to make all of the other stuff leading up to it. We had a running joke that I was going to change my mind and crash the wedding. Obviously I didn't, but in a spoof, me and other girls had a cardboard cutout of me in my dress made (since I already had it) and brought it to the wedding so I could "be there" for the pre-ceremony festivities. (note: if you haven't guessed we're a pretty goofy group and not really the serious formal wedding crowd). Turned out to be a big hit and a few weeks later I got a whole album of pictures with "me and the family" in the mail. haha.