Becky- I understand your fears. I think many of us face them at some point in our lives. But I'm hardly the person to provide advice here. Joe and I dated for 8 years before we were engaged. We were super young when we met, so we had time on our side and I'm actually thankful in the end that we waited until we were both more mature. I think if I were facing the dating scene at this point in my life, I'd look at things differently. If you make my heart sing and my panties buzz, and as Michele says- you have faults I can live with- then I'll let you stick around until we figure out what's next. If you don't meet those requirements, well, I don't have time or energy for anything that's going to be "that hard".
Relationships take work of course, but if even the "easy" stuff feels like work, then I'd be sending you on your way.
Wow, Becky. That's big, but I can't say I'm surprised you brought it up. I think you've have some underlying ambivalence about Dan for some time. (Correct me if I'm wrong.) I guess a question for you is...how would you feel if he was gone? Not missing him, tomorrow or next week, but looking at the full scope of your life, do you see a major hole in your heart if you think of him not there for the next 30 years?
The whole romance thing dies out over time anyway. You can have moments of it, but long-term relationships can't sustain the romance of the early days, nor should it. What one hopes is that phase is replaced with is a deep and abiding true, passionate love, that grows deeper and deeper over time. That's passion in the truest sence of the word. Romance will always rekindle, and those moments are special. But the comfort of having a best friend like no other, someone who ALWAYS sees the best in you, can't imagine life without you (and you them) is what you have to know--at some subconcious level--you can have with this person. One deserves no less.
Keith and I started dating 33 years ago this month. That's been it for us ever since. If I told you we never had ups and downs that would be such a lie. You can't share a lifelong commitment with someone without them. But we learned that life plays hardball sometimes, and learning to navigate the rough patches is what makes the relationship grow and evolve--it will never stay static. The tough times can bring you to better, deeper times. You have to think that you have a person who is willing to come out the other side with you, without question, no matter what life throws at you. We don't have the perfect relationship--no one does. But from age 20 to 53, I have loved and relied on this man, and he on me. No guarantees ever, but you gotta think that possibility is in there somewhere. Good luck, sweetie. Not easy. Hugs.
Becky, So hard...I remember those days with no desire to go back to the anguish you seem to be feeling. OK..so my 10 cents worth and that's probably all my opinion is worth. This is quite personal but I'm not sharing anything my husband wouldn't share with you himself. I met Archie at a bar in Dallas and mostly in the place you were. So afraid of bieng without "a man." I grew up with parents who were so confused about my role in life. For sure they wanted me to be a wife and mother but my father constantly felt I was wasting my college education when I stayed home to raise the kids. That being said, meeting a guy at a bar means the inevitable. That person might be a drinker and he was...kind of a mean drunk. Eventually he had enough to drink and quit. His mantra is, give a person another drink they will quit when they are done, or dead and no one can make that person quit if they aren't ready. Anyway....making a long story even longer we had some very rough times but when that happened, I would always sit down and make my T-accounts (ok, ok I'm an accountant). I put the cons on one side, pros on the other. The pros always, always won out and once the drinking stopped, I could live with all the cons. In fact, most of the cons have turned into major pros. Example: he is a major tightwad....when I lost my job, this was a major major pro. He over analyzes everything we buy, used to drive me UP THE WALL!!! Now, nearly every thing we buy lasts forever and I'm always happy I didn't settle for crap. He is loyal, and I've said it before, but he held a bedpan for me after my surgery during cancer, he held the bucket while I threw up my toenails during chemo and a horrifying reaction to morhphine, he would cover me with my scripture quilt every night and saw me through the scariest time in my life. He is the very best man I know but I would have never known that had I not hung in there during his dark times.
OK...having said all of that, "settling" for something less than wonderful will always leave you wondering. I don't feel I settled, I lucked into wonderful! Loyal, strong, capable, tenacious (heck he was disappointed that Marine Corp boot camp was not more challenging). Is he sentimental? Absolutely not. He bought flowers once, on our wedding day. He rarely thinks of the sensitive thing to do, but he is the only one I would ever want around if a crisis comes up. I tell my daughters, you can have sensitive or you can have dependable, loyal and capable, but only in rare instances, you get both. If you get mostly strong and capable and occasionally sensitive, take it.
Ok...nuff rambling...I'll be praying for your situation. Keep us posted.
thank you so much - for your help and sharing your personal experiences. I have lots of reflecting to do... and now I feel a bit better about where and how to channel my thoughts instead of letting them spin out of control.
Because of the horrible cold wind i opted to stay in and ride the drainer last night knowing today is my telework day and hoping I could do my run outdoors... It's cold but there's almost no wind... so a true 30 degrees rather than in the teens. Will do that soon... and suspect some of this will knock around in my head when I'm doing it.
surprisingly I got the new laptop this morning... that was crazy super fast! I think I just got the email it shipped on 12/7. Maybe that means power will be here soon, too! Wheelbuilder is resending the joule and the quarq is also on its way! I still have crazy slow internet (comcast isn't coming til next th) so I'm not sure if I'll try to download the power webinar or not...
oh, and fun... a friend from work has tickets to the national christmas tree lighting and invited me... she and her husband decided it was too cold to bring the 2 year old, so he's staying home with the kiddo and she's having a girls night. We've got seats and everything... should be fun. cold... but fun. something I should do at least once as a DC dweller!
I have my first "first date" in quite some time tonight with a guy I met last weekend at a friend's birthday party. There are a couple question marks about the guy (like why at 30 and after 3 months in a new apartment does he not own a bed, or any furniture for that matter aside from an air mattress and a side chair) but I'm trying to be open-minded these days I think I'm more nervous for this than I was for my first IM this year. Something about not really having control I suppose! But I've been told by several close friends and family that I need to open up and get out there, so here goes. Wish me luck- I'm sure I'll have an amusing story to tell tomorrow!
Woo hoo, get out there Jennifer! I wouldn't be too concerned about the no furniture stuff. They're just like that, I don't know why. (boys. sigh.)
We can be candid in this space, right? I'm branching out into new vegetables. Last year it was brussel sprouts. Roasty, toasty, caramel-y brussel sprouts. My mouth loved them but my stomach and related organs were like, "Bleh. [deep inhalation] Pa-tooey!" So now I'm pretty much sworn off cruciferous vegetables. Now it's beets. This week I had a spaghetti squash that needed to be used or else, so I made a lunch dish with that, grilled tofu, and roasted onions and beets. I've never actually roasted beets before. Beet Lesson #1: Beets color everything they touch. I've been eating a really girly lunch all week. Beet Lesson #2 (infinitely more disturbing): Beets stain your insides pink! Auuuuuugh!
Haha, yeah boys are just boys for sure. Well the no furniture stuff turned out to have an ok explanation (he traveled most of the year for 2 years, then when he finally stopped he had roommates, and then once he moved out on his own just recently he just didn't really want to get a lot of stuff if he was going to move around again). Also, when I stopped by his place after dinner for a drink he had clearly cleaned everything up and made it look as good as possible, so that kind of effort pleases me. I'm really happy I decided to go out with him and not leave one night's impression as the final one. He's really interesting, the conversation definitely didn't lull at all, and the stuff he talked about hit some good notes with me personally (loves to read and talk about what he's read, close to his family, pretty honest about life questions). All in all I had a really good time, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we hang out again and I can get to know him better. It's funny, it's days (or nights ) like this that remind me that life is wonderfully unpredictable.
Yay, Jennifer! Glad you had a nice time... and are getting some mojo back! Just enjoy it all and yourself!
@Suzanne - 2 responses. Brussel sprouts - blach. Beets - blech! I never liked either one... but the beets turning your insides pink is certainly interesting... I'll keep that in mind! Dan swears that the only reason I don't like beets is that I've never had good ones... his parents have an amazing garden (dad studied ag and worked for FDA)... but they didn't serve beets when I was there over T'giving, so I'm standing by my "blech" until proven otherwise. I did recently add radishes to my routine, so that's a start! I'd love to do a CSA for pretty much that reason - to start trying new things... but for now I try to branch out at the farmers' market!
Was feeling off yesterday so I nixed the tree lighting... and made a pie for a party tonight. Today is only a half day and I could have done it this afternoon... but now I'll be able to hit the gym after work (after office party and before dessert party). it won't help but at least I might be closer to breaking even on the calorie count today.
Quarq is coming Monday. Joule has been shipped... hopefully I can start learning the ropes next week (when I get my new internet and can download all the stuff I need to download to start the learning process...)
@Suzanne - I hated brussel sprouts until I had them roasted and then served with a balsamic reduction. Heaven! Also, heavenly tossed with butter and parmesan. Beets - have you tried the yellow ones?
@Jennifer - I'm glad you had a good time! Boy excitement is fun.
Jennifer--so glad it turned out pretty great! Keep us posted. Remember, I have 4 sons. Truly, sleeping on the floor with no furniture would not bother any one of them. Actually, at some level I think young men don't like too many possessions--more to clean, keep track of, be responsible about. They'd rather not for the most part.
Suzanne--beets are horrific! I like every veggie I can think of except beets and swiss chard (which to me, tastes like beets). It must be my physical make up, b/c beets taste exactly like dirt. Tasted dirt as a kid--blech--and beets are the same! LOL, my dad raced to the doc once b/c he thought he had blood in his urine--too many picked beets.
Excited for you Jennifer! Sounds wonderful and fun!
Agree on beets....double bleck. Spaghetti squash....yum..yum....yum. We eat it a lot because of the two celiacs in the house.
Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. We are a blizzard here. Say a little prayer for my daughter who headed north with her boyfriend and family to snowboard. Praying they are wise and get home safe.
Just checking in to wish everyone a great weekend!! Mine shall be fun filled with setting up my new PM and spending some time with the man (first time we've been off work at the same time in two weeks).
@Jennifer: Glad the date went well. Dating can be fun sometimes. I hope you get to see him again soon.
@Becky: Yay for your Quarq and Joule finally being on the way!
Will definitely keep you guys posted. Now I'm enduring the torture of waiting and wondering. Ugh, torture.
Beets...no. I've tried them 45 ways and, like Linda, just really don't like them. I am spending this weekend (which is rainy and cold in Chicago) putting my apartment back together from getting new floors installed and getting ready for Christmas since I'll be having plenty of visitors in the next couple of weeks. I am already looking forward to 5pm when I can start cleaning while drinking wine Back to it for me! Hope you ladies are having a good weekend!
45 different ways to have beets? I thought pickled was the only option! I'm OK with them, but I wouldn't choose to eat them.
I'm struggling to get into the Christmas spirit this year. I'm not sure why, maybe it's just too much life stuff going on. But we have plans to bake the family fruit cake (major tradition thing) and decorate the house this weekend, plus I'll get the Christmas cards written up this weekend. So hopefully between that and a little holiday music in the background I'll start feeling a little more Ho Ho Ho.
I know I don't post in this forum much BUT I wanted to share about some new boots I bought. My first ever high heeled boots. I NEVER EVER wear heels. Can't walk 10 feet in heels. BUT these boots are different. Made by aerosole. About a 3-4 inch heel, widish heel, not spiky. Cushioned inside, wide calf area, not tight at all!! I just went on a "date" with Steve. Madison went to the movies with her old day care lady so we jumped at the chance to go out! I wore leggings, a cute long top with belt and my sassy boots!! I feel so stylish. I could walk no problem in them. AMAZING!!! WOO HOO!!
I have been lurking again. Actually at work, on nights, trying to stay awake.
Virginia- Welcome! What are you studying in grad school?
Carrie- boots sound great! Are they high boots. I don't do well in heels either.
Becky- Did you ever find that earing? I can't seem to find a ring my aunts gave me as a graduation present from U of A , need to keep looking, ugh! have fun with all your new toys. I don't have much advice for thestuff with Dan, everyone else has offered good advice
Jennifer- sounds like a fun 1st date, any news yet?
Boy stuff- I took myself out of the dating scene a while ago. After last guy I dated, just wasn't interested, tried the on line thing, but just got weirdos! After January, look out, I'm going back out there. Mostly to meet more people and boost my social life. haven't done much of that since moving to Baltimore. The only people I really know are work people, occaisonally go out with them but. I need a social life! So my plan is to hit it in many areas. Join a tri club or 2, start masters swimming, in the winter- gasp! I made a profile with eight ateight- a dinner party type dating thing with 4 men and 4 women in DC. I guess they are still building up their "older people" base. They offered 1 dinner party, but I was unavailable for that night. I am also starting a profile at OKCupid, another online dating thing. we'll see.
Hope all those in the midwest are surviving the blizzard!
Carrie- Seriously need some pics of the boots! I'm totally a sucker for great boots (I've had my current pair for 6+ years and have had them resoled and patched up many, many times).
Nemo- Hope you got into the Christmas spirit a little more over the weekend. I struggle because I get so annoyed hearing Christmas music the day after Thanksgiving and all the stuff so soon. It always kind of makes me delay getting into the holiday spirit.
Tracy- Nice! I feel very much the same way, just kind of lost interest with all the other things going on with life. Plus I can't say that I found the online thing to work for me. Too many people wanting to exchange tons of emails instead of just getting together for coffee or a drink. Since I generally can gauge whether or not I find you interesting in one conversation, this did not work well for me. But I found the tri clubs and forcing my friends to have small gatherings with people I might not know worked out really well in meeting some interesting people. Hopefully, even if it takes a while to meet someone you'll still meet some interesting people.
I'm going a bit crazy with all these dating norms and rules that people keep informing me of (sorry when did it become clingy and forward to follow up on a date by saying you had a nice time? I heard this from no less than 5 people- all of whom date way more than I do). So I will get in touch with him today and see if he asks me out again. Fingers crossed! I'll just be obsessing here at work since I really am getting stir-crazy waiting for my vacation to start in a week and a half!
Boots! Those sound awesome, Carrie! I love how pretty and sexy they can make you feel.
Jennifer - I'm all about the "I had a nice time." follow up note. Clear and direct communication is awesome in my book. If boy is into you, that message is awesome.
@Tracy - no luck with the earring... searched my office... and I filled out a lost and found thing on WMATA's website. I'm not holding my breath. Bummer.
@Carrie - those boots sound great - particularly the roomy calf (every boot I've every tried on is apparently made for some waifishly thin little thing with zero leg muscle whatsoever). Funny that I was just thinking that I need to go boot shopping. I do have one pair of black boots, but I want ones that I can tuck my jeans into if I want (no way in hell I can do that with my current boots, which I can barely zip up over my calf... then there's a huge gap below my knee... argh.
@Jennifer, Tracy - shit, the rules of dating are ridiculous... I hate dating... mostly because I was/am terrible at it. I agree, have a nice time why not let the guy know it? But in the age of the internet and dating sites, etc, I've been told that you almost need to be over the top about playing hard to get, etc. I just don't know. I'm a date one person to get to know him and see if I like him kinda gal... apparently that's just not how it's done. Heck, I've known folks who go on multiple dates in one day (not just a weekend). seriously. coffee on a saturday afternoon followed by cocktails in the early evening. I just don't get it... well, that and I never had that men guys lining up to ask me out. So, my only advice (not that I ever took my own advice) - resist the urge to call or email him... and let him come to you. If he doesn't, chalk it off to a nice time, dating practice, and move on. don't dwell on it or try to figure it out... I know, easier said than done.
@Nemo - good luck... I did my cards last night... I'm very hit or miss with them. I don't think I sent them last year. I think I did the year before... but the weather was yucky and I was home and nothing was on tv... so I just knocked em out. While finishing off a bottle of Malbec I'd started a few days ago. That helped!
Quarq should be coming today... hopefully the replacement Joule won't be too far behind. Comcast will be coming Th to install the cable and get me new internet, so I can download the power tools... and start learning!
@Jennifer, Tracy - shit, the rules of dating are ridiculous... I hate dating... mostly because I was/am terrible at it. I agree, have a nice time why not let the guy know it? But in the age of the internet and dating sites, etc, I've been told that you almost need to be over the top about playing hard to get, etc. I just don't know. I'm a date one person to get to know him and see if I like him kinda gal... apparently that's just not how it's done. Heck, I've known folks who go on multiple dates in one day (not just a weekend). seriously. coffee on a saturday afternoon followed by cocktails in the early evening. I just don't get it... well, that and I never had that men guys lining up to ask me out. So, my only advice (not that I ever took my own advice) - resist the urge to call or email him... and let him come to you. If he doesn't, chalk it off to a nice time, dating practice, and move on. don't dwell on it or try to figure it out... I know, easier said than done.
Hand-raising, multiple date in one day offender here. Actually, not horrible to do. Most memorable example, was a Sunday with a three-hour EN training ride, followed by date #1 (Music Box matinee of Breakfast at Tiffany's, followed by lunch) then, shopping at Anthropologie to buy new shirt as consolation prize for surviving awkwardness of lunch date. Clean bike. Nap. Dinner date.
I'm also thinking if two people are into each other, stupid rules and who texts first probably doesn't matter.
@ Nemo: I'm right there with you at having a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit. We don't even have a tree yet and my attempt at hanging lights on the house was sad at best. Hopefully we all start to get into the Christmas groove this week.
@ Carrie: You should definitely give pics of these boots! I can't remember the last time I wore heels....I actually think I might have broken them. Apparently it takes some skill I do not possess.
@ Tracy: I am studying Intelligence Management (think secret squirrel lol). I think a tri club is definitely a good place to start to meet new people/potential dates. At least you know of one thing you have in common right off the bat and if nothing else it could result in a new work-out buddy.
I was never any good at the dating thing...or the "dating rules" for that matter. I just got lucky and met my bf when we were in a mandatory work class together. So I guess my advice is to keep an open mind. You never know where you'll meet someone.
power came last night... both the quarq via ups and the joule via fed ex. in a bizarre turn of events I didn't even open the boxes... I know I haven't downloaded the power stuff (thursday after I get my high speed internet) and I knew I had holiday stuff to take care of... so maybe I'll peek tonight... and will try to find the time to figure it out this weekend - which will be hard with my party schedule. seriously... Kona viewing party Sat followed by an evening party. Sun is a football party (and the guy who watches my cats is hosting so I have to go... and I told him I'd pick up the pizzas and help set up)... hopefully I can carve out my Sunday evening to this. Nice thing is once the webinar is downloaded I can take the new laptop with me and will have many many hours on a plane across the country to watch it and take notes - with any luck I'll get back and have a good solid week to try to use it and figure it out. Cutting it a bit close, but I'll do my best to be ready for OS come Jan 3!.
being inspired by Carrie, I went online (zappos) and searched for boots. I've never gotten shoes online before... but I did find a pair of merrell's I liked... and I know what size I need for merrells... so I gave it a try. They've already shipped... super fast! Then, I ordered bar stools for my kitchen from overstock.com. They've already shipped too... crazy! Then I ordered the skin care products my mom and I use (some for me, some for her for christmas - not a very fun gift but the stuff is expensive and she makes minimum wage at a hotel). I am apparently in need of an intervention. I do still have to get a gift card for my pop... and probably something else for my mom... hopefully another 200 bucks total... but damn am I afraid of what my credit card bills are gonna look like in January. But the good news is, with the exception of new blinds for my bedrooms, my condo is finally done... it only took me 6 years to get it the way I want it! I could definitely use a new couch (the one I have is too big for the space), but I'm not gonna make any furniture purchases unless/until I know if things with Dan are gonna take a serious turn or not. And, with the exception of getting vuka pad wing extensions (25 bucks), my bike set up is complete... I do not anticipate any other major purchases AT ALL for the year. The races have been registered and paid for... the equipment is brand new... I hope hope hope I'm done spending money!
Haha, Beth I can just picture you on multiple dates in a day! Becky, you'll have fun with the power, and don't stress about learning everything before the OS, you'll actually probably learn a ton more during the OS and into the season than trying to cram before And congrats on finally getting your place the way you want it, I actually just accomplished the same thing and felt so happy standing in my living room this morning. Makes me excited to have friends over.
On another note, unfortunately I think I hurt my MCL dealing with the weather conditions yesterday. With all the slipping and sliding I think I twisted it wrong, because all of a sudden pain started occurring last night after dinner. It's very similar to the pain I felt last time when I tore both the ACL and MCL, except no front of the knee pain, it's only on the inside and especially noticable with standing and squatting, and it's tons milder (thank god!). For now I'm going to rest up, and actually maybe do some swimming and hope that I'll be good to go by the start of the OS.
Boooo on the MCL Jennifer! Take care so you can be ready for fun in January!
Becky- I don't think I'll ever be at a point where I can say my house is "done". There always seems to be something else to fix or replace!
Virginia, I think you might have hit the nail on the head. I resist doing X-mas stuff pre-Thanksgiving and then when the time comes I'm so heads down with year end stuff at work I just don't have time to stop and smell the nutmeg, ya know? I did some baking and card writing over the weekend and that did help.
We don't do a tree (2 cats, small house, just doesn't work) and hadn't broken out our tree decorations in years. This year we decided to hang a garland strand of holly (fake) and then hang a few of the ornaments from there. It was nice opening up the boxes and having some fond memories again. I also realized we are still storing a lot of ugly ornaments! I think a donation to GoodWill needs to be on my to do list.
@ Becky: I feel like we're going through the same phase. On top of my 310 and getting power, we just bought a dining room set and washer and dryer. Throw on top of that Christmas shopping and it's a bit overwhelming. Hopefully everything calms down a little bit after the holidays because I know my wallet can't take much more of it!
@ Nemo: Glad to hear you're starting to get into the spirit. It can definitely be fun going through old ornaments and looking at things you thought were "kewl" at one point in your life. That's always fun when cleaning out the closet too but that doesn't so much apply to Christmas time lol.
I had 8 people added to my Christmas shopping list yesterday (due to a miscommunication about exchanging/not exchanging gifts) so it will be a busy week/weekend for me. And I still haven't gotten my power put on my bike....hopefully I can fit a trip to the LBS today or tomorrow after work.
Comments
Relationships take work of course, but if even the "easy" stuff feels like work, then I'd be sending you on your way.
Wow, Becky. That's big, but I can't say I'm surprised you brought it up. I think you've have some underlying ambivalence about Dan for some time. (Correct me if I'm wrong.) I guess a question for you is...how would you feel if he was gone? Not missing him, tomorrow or next week, but looking at the full scope of your life, do you see a major hole in your heart if you think of him not there for the next 30 years?
The whole romance thing dies out over time anyway. You can have moments of it, but long-term relationships can't sustain the romance of the early days, nor should it. What one hopes is that phase is replaced with is a deep and abiding true, passionate love, that grows deeper and deeper over time. That's passion in the truest sence of the word. Romance will always rekindle, and those moments are special. But the comfort of having a best friend like no other, someone who ALWAYS sees the best in you, can't imagine life without you (and you them) is what you have to know--at some subconcious level--you can have with this person. One deserves no less.
Keith and I started dating 33 years ago this month. That's been it for us ever since. If I told you we never had ups and downs that would be such a lie. You can't share a lifelong commitment with someone without them. But we learned that life plays hardball sometimes, and learning to navigate the rough patches is what makes the relationship grow and evolve--it will never stay static. The tough times can bring you to better, deeper times. You have to think that you have a person who is willing to come out the other side with you, without question, no matter what life throws at you. We don't have the perfect relationship--no one does. But from age 20 to 53, I have loved and relied on this man, and he on me. No guarantees ever, but you gotta think that possibility is in there somewhere. Good luck, sweetie. Not easy. Hugs.
OK...having said all of that, "settling" for something less than wonderful will always leave you wondering. I don't feel I settled, I lucked into wonderful! Loyal, strong, capable, tenacious (heck he was disappointed that Marine Corp boot camp was not more challenging). Is he sentimental? Absolutely not. He bought flowers once, on our wedding day. He rarely thinks of the sensitive thing to do, but he is the only one I would ever want around if a crisis comes up. I tell my daughters, you can have sensitive or you can have dependable, loyal and capable, but only in rare instances, you get both. If you get mostly strong and capable and occasionally sensitive, take it.
Ok...nuff rambling...I'll be praying for your situation. Keep us posted.
thank you so much - for your help and sharing your personal experiences. I have lots of reflecting to do... and now I feel a bit better about where and how to channel my thoughts instead of letting them spin out of control.
Because of the horrible cold wind i opted to stay in and ride the drainer last night knowing today is my telework day and hoping I could do my run outdoors... It's cold but there's almost no wind... so a true 30 degrees rather than in the teens. Will do that soon... and suspect some of this will knock around in my head when I'm doing it.
surprisingly I got the new laptop this morning... that was crazy super fast! I think I just got the email it shipped on 12/7. Maybe that means power will be here soon, too! Wheelbuilder is resending the joule and the quarq is also on its way! I still have crazy slow internet (comcast isn't coming til next th) so I'm not sure if I'll try to download the power webinar or not...
oh, and fun... a friend from work has tickets to the national christmas tree lighting and invited me... she and her husband decided it was too cold to bring the 2 year old, so he's staying home with the kiddo and she's having a girls night. We've got seats and everything... should be fun. cold... but fun. something I should do at least once as a DC dweller!
Oh, have fun, Jennifer!
Oh Jennifer! I hope you like him!
Woo hoo, get out there Jennifer! I wouldn't be too concerned about the no furniture stuff. They're just like that, I don't know why. (boys. sigh.)
We can be candid in this space, right? I'm branching out into new vegetables. Last year it was brussel sprouts. Roasty, toasty, caramel-y brussel sprouts. My mouth loved them but my stomach and related organs were like, "Bleh. [deep inhalation] Pa-tooey!" So now I'm pretty much sworn off cruciferous vegetables. Now it's beets. This week I had a spaghetti squash that needed to be used or else, so I made a lunch dish with that, grilled tofu, and roasted onions and beets. I've never actually roasted beets before. Beet Lesson #1: Beets color everything they touch. I've been eating a really girly lunch all week. Beet Lesson #2 (infinitely more disturbing): Beets stain your insides pink! Auuuuuugh!
Yay, Jennifer! Glad you had a nice time... and are getting some mojo back! Just enjoy it all and yourself!
@Suzanne - 2 responses. Brussel sprouts - blach. Beets - blech! I never liked either one... but the beets turning your insides pink is certainly interesting... I'll keep that in mind! Dan swears that the only reason I don't like beets is that I've never had good ones... his parents have an amazing garden (dad studied ag and worked for FDA)... but they didn't serve beets when I was there over T'giving, so I'm standing by my "blech" until proven otherwise. I did recently add radishes to my routine, so that's a start! I'd love to do a CSA for pretty much that reason - to start trying new things... but for now I try to branch out at the farmers' market!
Was feeling off yesterday so I nixed the tree lighting... and made a pie for a party tonight. Today is only a half day and I could have done it this afternoon... but now I'll be able to hit the gym after work (after office party and before dessert party). it won't help but at least I might be closer to breaking even on the calorie count today.
Quarq is coming Monday. Joule has been shipped... hopefully I can start learning the ropes next week (when I get my new internet and can download all the stuff I need to download to start the learning process...)
@Suzanne - I hated brussel sprouts until I had them roasted and then served with a balsamic reduction. Heaven! Also, heavenly tossed with butter and parmesan. Beets - have you tried the yellow ones?
@Jennifer - I'm glad you had a good time! Boy excitement is fun.
Jennifer--so glad it turned out pretty great! Keep us posted. Remember, I have 4 sons. Truly, sleeping on the floor with no furniture would not bother any one of them. Actually, at some level I think young men don't like too many possessions--more to clean, keep track of, be responsible about. They'd rather not for the most part.
Suzanne--beets are horrific! I like every veggie I can think of except beets and swiss chard (which to me, tastes like beets). It must be my physical make up, b/c beets taste exactly like dirt. Tasted dirt as a kid--blech--and beets are the same! LOL, my dad raced to the doc once b/c he thought he had blood in his urine--too many picked beets.
Excited for you Jennifer! Sounds wonderful and fun!
Agree on beets....double bleck. Spaghetti squash....yum..yum....yum. We eat it a lot because of the two celiacs in the house.
Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. We are a blizzard here. Say a little prayer for my daughter who headed north with her boyfriend and family to snowboard. Praying they are wise and get home safe.
Everyone stay warm this weekend!
@Jennifer: Glad the date went well. Dating can be fun sometimes. I hope you get to see him again soon.
@Becky: Yay for your Quarq and Joule finally being on the way!
Will definitely keep you guys posted. Now I'm enduring the torture of waiting and wondering. Ugh, torture.
Back to it for me! Hope you ladies are having a good weekend!
Beets...no. I've tried them 45 ways and, like Linda, just really don't like them. I am spending this weekend (which is rainy and cold in Chicago) putting my apartment back together from getting new floors installed and getting ready for Christmas since I'll be having plenty of visitors in the next couple of weeks. I am already looking forward to 5pm when I can start cleaning while drinking wine
I'm struggling to get into the Christmas spirit this year. I'm not sure why, maybe it's just too much life stuff going on. But we have plans to bake the family fruit cake (major tradition thing) and decorate the house this weekend, plus I'll get the Christmas cards written up this weekend. So hopefully between that and a little holiday music in the background I'll start feeling a little more Ho Ho Ho.
Hi Everyone!
I have been lurking again
. Actually at work, on nights, trying to stay awake.
Virginia- Welcome! What are you studying in grad school?
Carrie- boots sound great! Are they high boots. I don't do well in heels either.
Becky- Did you ever find that earing? I can't seem to find a ring my aunts gave me as a graduation present from U of A
, need to keep looking, ugh! have fun with all your new toys. I don't have much advice for thestuff with Dan, everyone else has offered good advice
Jennifer- sounds like a fun 1st date, any news yet?
Boy stuff- I took myself out of the dating scene a while ago. After last guy I dated, just wasn't interested, tried the on line thing, but just got weirdos! After January, look out, I'm going back out there.
Mostly to meet more people and boost my social life. haven't done much of that since moving to Baltimore. The only people I really know are work people, occaisonally go out with them but. I need a social life! So my plan is to hit it in many areas. Join a tri club or 2, start masters swimming, in the winter- gasp! I made a profile with eight ateight- a dinner party type dating thing with 4 men and 4 women in DC. I guess they are still building up their "older people" base. They offered 1 dinner party, but I was unavailable for that night. I am also starting a profile at OKCupid, another online dating thing. we'll see.
Hope all those in the midwest are surviving the blizzard!
Happy Monday everyone!
Nemo- Hope you got into the Christmas spirit a little more over the weekend. I struggle because I get so annoyed hearing Christmas music the day after Thanksgiving and all the stuff so soon. It always kind of makes me delay getting into the holiday spirit.
Tracy- Nice! I feel very much the same way, just kind of lost interest with all the other things going on with life. Plus I can't say that I found the online thing to work for me. Too many people wanting to exchange tons of emails instead of just getting together for coffee or a drink. Since I generally can gauge whether or not I find you interesting in one conversation, this did not work well for me. But I found the tri clubs and forcing my friends to have small gatherings with people I might not know worked out really well in meeting some interesting people. Hopefully, even if it takes a while to meet someone you'll still meet some interesting people.
I'm going a bit crazy with all these dating norms and rules that people keep informing me of (sorry when did it become clingy and forward to follow up on a date by saying you had a nice time? I heard this from no less than 5 people- all of whom date way more than I do). So I will get in touch with him today and see if he asks me out again. Fingers crossed! I'll just be obsessing here at work since I really am getting stir-crazy waiting for my vacation to start in a week and a half!
Have a good day ladies!
Boots! Those sound awesome, Carrie! I love how pretty and sexy they can make you feel.
Jennifer - I'm all about the "I had a nice time." follow up note. Clear and direct communication is awesome in my book. If boy is into you, that message is awesome.
I do have a theory that boys like to chase a bit (Verify, lurker boys?) in courtship time. I'm mostly making up these theories by reading Esquire. Like this letter, from the editors of Marie Claire to the men of Esquire.
@Tracy - no luck with the earring... searched my office... and I filled out a lost and found thing on WMATA's website. I'm not holding my breath. Bummer.
@Carrie - those boots sound great - particularly the roomy calf (every boot I've every tried on is apparently made for some waifishly thin little thing with zero leg muscle whatsoever). Funny that I was just thinking that I need to go boot shopping. I do have one pair of black boots, but I want ones that I can tuck my jeans into if I want (no way in hell I can do that with my current boots, which I can barely zip up over my calf... then there's a huge gap below my knee... argh.
@Jennifer, Tracy - shit, the rules of dating are ridiculous... I hate dating... mostly because I was/am terrible at it. I agree, have a nice time why not let the guy know it? But in the age of the internet and dating sites, etc, I've been told that you almost need to be over the top about playing hard to get, etc. I just don't know. I'm a date one person to get to know him and see if I like him kinda gal... apparently that's just not how it's done. Heck, I've known folks who go on multiple dates in one day (not just a weekend). seriously. coffee on a saturday afternoon followed by cocktails in the early evening. I just don't get it... well, that and I never had that men guys lining up to ask me out. So, my only advice (not that I ever took my own advice) - resist the urge to call or email him... and let him come to you. If he doesn't, chalk it off to a nice time, dating practice, and move on. don't dwell on it or try to figure it out... I know, easier said than done.
@Nemo - good luck... I did my cards last night... I'm very hit or miss with them. I don't think I sent them last year. I think I did the year before... but the weather was yucky and I was home and nothing was on tv... so I just knocked em out. While finishing off a bottle of Malbec I'd started a few days ago. That helped!
Quarq should be coming today... hopefully the replacement Joule won't be too far behind. Comcast will be coming Th to install the cable and get me new internet, so I can download the power tools... and start learning!
@ Carrie: You should definitely give pics of these boots! I can't remember the last time I wore heels....I actually think I might have broken them. Apparently it takes some skill I do not possess.
@ Tracy: I am studying Intelligence Management (think secret squirrel lol). I think a tri club is definitely a good place to start to meet new people/potential dates. At least you know of one thing you have in common right off the bat and if nothing else it could result in a new work-out buddy.
I was never any good at the dating thing...or the "dating rules" for that matter. I just got lucky and met my bf when we were in a mandatory work class together. So I guess my advice is to keep an open mind. You never know where you'll meet someone.
being inspired by Carrie, I went online (zappos) and searched for boots. I've never gotten shoes online before... but I did find a pair of merrell's I liked... and I know what size I need for merrells... so I gave it a try. They've already shipped... super fast! Then, I ordered bar stools for my kitchen from overstock.com. They've already shipped too... crazy! Then I ordered the skin care products my mom and I use (some for me, some for her for christmas - not a very fun gift but the stuff is expensive and she makes minimum wage at a hotel). I am apparently in need of an intervention. I do still have to get a gift card for my pop... and probably something else for my mom... hopefully another 200 bucks total... but damn am I afraid of what my credit card bills are gonna look like in January. But the good news is, with the exception of new blinds for my bedrooms, my condo is finally done... it only took me 6 years to get it the way I want it! I could definitely use a new couch (the one I have is too big for the space), but I'm not gonna make any furniture purchases unless/until I know if things with Dan are gonna take a serious turn or not. And, with the exception of getting vuka pad wing extensions (25 bucks), my bike set up is complete... I do not anticipate any other major purchases AT ALL for the year. The races have been registered and paid for... the equipment is brand new... I hope hope hope I'm done spending money!
On another note, unfortunately I think I hurt my MCL dealing with the weather conditions yesterday. With all the slipping and sliding I think I twisted it wrong, because all of a sudden pain started occurring last night after dinner. It's very similar to the pain I felt last time when I tore both the ACL and MCL, except no front of the knee pain, it's only on the inside and especially noticable with standing and squatting, and it's tons milder (thank god!). For now I'm going to rest up, and actually maybe do some swimming and hope that I'll be good to go by the start of the OS.
Becky- I don't think I'll ever be at a point where I can say my house is "done". There always seems to be something else to fix or replace!
Virginia, I think you might have hit the nail on the head. I resist doing X-mas stuff pre-Thanksgiving and then when the time comes I'm so heads down with year end stuff at work I just don't have time to stop and smell the nutmeg, ya know? I did some baking and card writing over the weekend and that did help.
We don't do a tree (2 cats, small house, just doesn't work) and hadn't broken out our tree decorations in years. This year we decided to hang a garland strand of holly (fake) and then hang a few of the ornaments from there. It was nice opening up the boxes and having some fond memories again. I also realized we are still storing a lot of ugly ornaments! I think a donation to GoodWill needs to be on my to do list.
@ Nemo: Glad to hear you're starting to get into the spirit. It can definitely be fun going through old ornaments and looking at things you thought were "kewl" at one point in your life. That's always fun when cleaning out the closet too but that doesn't so much apply to Christmas time lol.
I had 8 people added to my Christmas shopping list yesterday (due to a miscommunication about exchanging/not exchanging gifts) so it will be a busy week/weekend for me. And I still haven't gotten my power put on my bike....hopefully I can fit a trip to the LBS today or tomorrow after work.